Bitterly-sweet

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You craftily arouse my emotions
To stir a vivid spectacle; advance a
Mirage, make it blossom within the
Blackest, most sinful depths of my mind;

You delve me into realms of
Blissful impossibility, yet assured reality –

How you anguish me! For hours I live
The idyllic fantasy that never was, never
Will be; foolishly succumb to the belief
That it’s real: all, so euphorically real -

What bitterly-sweet deception.




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Finally, some punctuation. One of the only times anybody has ever used punctuation, that I've seen, though I do see a slight lack of commas, but the poem overall was good, I like... felt it.
Best Part:
You delve me into realms of
Blissful impossibility, yet assured reality

Keep Writing!
Flightplan 49




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to stir a vivid spectacle.
advance a mirage,
make it blossom within the blackest,
most sinful depths of my mind. (kinda re-positioned that whole stanza... Keep it that way if you'd like but be sure to replace the semi-colons with periods, 'kay?

You delve me into realms of
blissful impossibility, yet assured reality.

How you anguish me!
For hours I live , the idyllic
fantasy that never was, never
will be.
I foolishly succumb to the belief
that it’s real; all, so euphorically real -

what bitterly-sweet deception.


Great job with this! I could feel the emotion but I think you could've squeezed in a bit more to make it even better ;)

Also, your flow could use a teeny bit of work but it was mostly pretty great!

Good job :D

Keep writing,
Alzora
"Just remember there's a difference between stalking people on the internet, and going to their house and cutting their skin off." - Jenna Marbles

~ Yeah I'm letting go of what I had, yeah I'm living now and living loud ~




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Everything that I noticed has already been explained by the persons above me. But I can just say how good this was. perfect imagery and word choice, in my opinion. Its the kind of poem that I like to read over and over just to try to take it apart piece by piece. because I want the true meaning to shine through, know what I mean? Well, I hope my review has either helped you in a way, or boosted your writers confidence. Keep writing!!




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they explained it well..
haha...

your poem was full of emotion but there's something i'm looking for
i don't know what it is but don't get me wrong OK? i like your poem
it's just that i think you can improve it more
because your a gifted writer.

You craftily arouse my emotions
To stir a vivid spectacle;
----->favorite part =)
~jenjen

i love you. and won't get tired of saying i love you.

jheron




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Hi Amelia,

You asked and I'm here so. I must stay this was beautifully well done. I thoroughly enjoyed the emotions and the poetry. My only suggestion is to split some of the lines at the top...I believe someone already suggested that. Either way nicely done and I hope to read more of your works soon. Until next time, Sayonara!!
Soulkana<3
May the gentle moon take you into peaceful dreams. May the mighty sun brighten your new days.




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I liked it a lot and reminded me of like T.S Eliot, or like Lord Byron or something. It was very well written.

You craftily arouse my emotions
To stir a vivid spectacle;
advance a Mirage,
make it blossom within the
Blackest, most sinful depths of my mind;

You delve me into realms of
Blissful impossibility,
yet assured reality %u2013

How you anguish me!
For hours I live
The idyllic fantasy that never was,
never Will be;
foolishly succumb to the belief
That it%u2019s real:
all, so euphorically real -

What bitterly-sweet deception.


For me the poem flows better like this. It%u2019s only a suggestion, so if you don%u2019t like it or I missed the whole point, no big deal. I don%u2019t have any punctuation or anything cause it%u2019s already been said.
Keep up the good work!
When people ask me, why are you so weird, I never know what to say. Then I think, why should I be like this when I can be like ttthhhiiiisss?



Thou call'dst me a dog before thou hadst cause. But, since I am a dog, beware my fangs.
— Shylock, The Merchant of Venice