Life's Questions

Life depends on nature.
Nature Depends on life.
For what you see can fool you.
And your life is what keeps your emotions in a wonder.
For whom rules your life?
Is it You?
Is it joy?
Is it Love?
Or is it a simple flame.
Most say it is god who rules your life.
But you know your self you control your mind and body.
For one word or movement can be a sin.......

CierraKailyGirl99 wrote:Life depends on nature.
Nature Depends on life. Just wondering: is there a specific reason you capitalized "Depends"? To me, unless you have a specific reason for emphasizing that particular word, capitalizing it randomly in midst of a sentence is unnecessary.
For what you see can fool you.
And your life is what keeps your emotions in a wonder. Well, I'm not exactly sure what you were trying to say here. I may just be interpreting it wrong, or at least from what you were trying to transcribe, but it just seems like you just randomly added a line here, or kept writing the line even after the rhythm had been reached. If I were you, I'd either rewrite this line, or break it up into two or more lines.
For whom rules your life? This is another line that kind of threw me a side-winder. I think you may want to rewrite this line to conform with the above line in some way, because when you just randomly start off a sentence with a preposition, it can sometimes be misleading. If I were you, instead of a period on the above line, I'd just put a comma, or no punctuation, and just let it continue flowing onto this line.
Is it You?
Is it joy?
Is it Love? Again with the caps. If they are significant, at least capitalize them all and not leave out the "joy" in the middle. I can see the importance in these here this time, though, and I'm actually glad you did emphasize these words.
Or is it a simple flame. I like this inkling about a flame. Fire represents life in so many ways and is an important part for advancement and even control. Yet, just like in the wild, referencing fire can sometimes get out of control. The way you introduced this line made me stop and re-read the few lines leading up to it. How does a simple flame control a life? Again, like the meaning, not so much the usage.
Most say it is god who rules your life. Anytime you reference a mighty being, you kind of have to capitalize their name. Sorry if you don't care for Him, but it's the rules of grammar.
But you know your self you control your mind and body. This line is really jumbled. I couldn't quite figure out what it was supposed to mean. I think this line may just need to be proofread and maybe get some grammar check.
For one word or movement can be a sin.......First off, on ellipses (...) only put three dots, plus an ending period if you're ending the sentence and not just interrupting. Second, I really just don't like this line. On the line above you talk about one controlling oneself and such, then turn abruptly to anything being a sin. Maybe elaborate on this? Just add maybe a bit more to give a little explanation.

Analysis: Altogether, a good poem! Sure, there were problems, but what poem doesn't? Also, I like how you try to keep things sort of vague, as I do that a lot, too, but it's still a good idea to at least leave the reader pointed in at least one solid direction as to the inner meaning of your literary work. Mystery and shadows are good for drama, but for interpreting, not so much. Also, don't like the periods at the end of every line. I normally just use commas, and others advise just writing the lines as if they were real, grammatically correct sentences. I would suggest maybe just finding a happy medium.

If you ever rewrite this or proofread this or make any changes at all, tell me! I would love to read this again with maybe a little bit more light shed into its depths. Keep on writing and remember to feel the flowing emotion!

Poetically yours,
Zac (A.K.A. The Walkin Dude)

I like where you're going with this, but it needs some work before it can be a really effective piece. Try sitting down and thinking for a while about exactly what you're trying to say with this poem. Right now it seems to ramble and never really settle down on an intended meaning. As TheWalkinDude said, leaving a poem open enough that it can have multiple interpretations is great, but it needs to still feel like it's going somewhere.