Sorry

Saying sorry doesn't mean anything to me.

Sorry doesn't make the world a better place,
to live or to stay.

Sorry is just another word.

Another word that I don't understand.

And don't wish to understand.

Wow, harsh and depressing.
I'm guessing you were quite angry or upset when you wrote this?
Do you really feel that way?
I really like the poem especially the last line, but I'm hoping you don't feel like that all the time, it's very cynical.
But really good for a poem.

BrokenSkye wrote:Saying sorry doesn't mean anything to me. I like this opening line.

Sorry doesn't make the world a better place,
to live or to stay. Hmm, for this, I think you should add in 'in', "to live in or to stay", it just sounds kinda better, don't you think?

Sorry is just another word.

Another word that I don't understand. Take out 'that', it flows better...

And don't wish to understand.

So yeah. Good poem! Some very powerful emotions coming off of this. Gooood job.

This isn't exactly a poem.

Stringing words together
With breaks in between
Does not make for a poem.

A poem must have rhythm, structure, creative language. Similes, metaphores, imagery. All that was in your poem was words and emotion. That's a good start, but we need to make it look and sound like a poem. We need to make it paint a picture. We need the reader to feel what you feel.

Try reading some poetry, and look at the words the poet uses, and how they use these words as well.
I'd love to see you improve, because I think you've got potential.

Emotions and words strug together is a poem. And I have read many many poetry books. I love poetry it is my life. And this is one of my first poems that I ever wrote.

Thanks everyone else for the comments

On some level I agree with Explosive_Pen, but this is a poem. It is a simple poem driven by pure hatred and emotion, but a poem nonetheless. It is simple and to the point and I like that in a poem, but there is overbearing emotion here that makes the reader a bit nervous. Perhaps expanding on this idea a bit more by stretching this work out.

Personally I think this is not a poem, simply that there is nothing there. There are words, but besides that there really is nothing there. I feel emotion, but its not the emotion that needs to be presented. I wish you would go back and try it again. Listen to the other opinions. Your age will play a big factor in this as well. You are young and being young reflects in this poem. Try it again my friend and we will see what happens next.

Hey.
I see what you mean, I just don't see it as a poem.
I see the emotions coming from the poem, and it's a very powerful tactic to use in writing. But in this, forsay, poem, I would try to use a little more...word choice. Yes, sometimes a short poem gets to the point, but this poem has so much more meaning to it! You should put a little more of a bacground story on it, and refelct the emotions threw words. For this poem I could only tell that you were angered. But I need to READDD that you were mad, or sad. And with a little more of a background story, and writing down your emotions without actually saying them... this could be an excellent piece!
But indeed, I did like it, and I did like the feeling th poem gave off, and I think your writing with progress and become a great thing! Keep writing!

Wow. It's simple but it conveys alot of emotion. The feeling someone has when their girlfreind/boyfriend has just broken up with them (or you broke up with them because you found the cheating on them). Or some other devasting oredeal they have just gone throuhg. In other words, good job.

hi there im China Cookie

Well this is not technically a poem but it conveys alot of emotion and i gathered you might have alot bottled up emotion and i hope all is okay. Would love to hear miore from you.

Regards China Cookie

WOW! Rather sort(not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing), hope you don't really think that.