One Hundred Nights of Thunder

Thanks for reading!


There’s been one hundred nights of thunder
A tenfold more of rain
My eyes are tired of lightning
And are riddled through with pain.
The booming and the bursting
Are burning me with hurt
Can’t stand a second more
Yet the storm remains inert.

I understand it’s power
I think I’ve got the gist
And now this endless shower
Must soon cease and desist.
End, end, you stupid storm
And give me back the past
I miss the sun, the snails, the worms,
That fled the spell you cast.

Spoiler

To be perfectly honest, I'm not terribly fond of this poem. I mostly posted it to get some CC so I can clean it up. I had the first four lines, and then out came the rest, but it sounds forced to me, and I don't know what to do with it. Thanks for the help.

Hi-ya

That's a really interesting idea for a poem and I like it. It's a bit scattered and changes direction to soon sometimes and that destroys the flow which is highly necessary for poems. Other than than that you did a good job (..perhaps you got add more to it but that's a matter of opinion). Overall it was a good read.

-Blossom

To quote Helena from A Midsummer Night's Dream: If only your frowns could teach my smiles.

Hello!
So, I really like this poem. The title captured my attention right away and I knew it would be an interesting poem. I like the first stanza the best; especially the beginning of it.
There's only one little mistake I found:

I understand its power

"It's" is only used for "it is".
This was good; the rhyming is consistent and I just like the overall idea of it.
Great work!