rush

be patient don't rush,
take it slow let the wind blow.
feel the breeze through your hair,
just feel it know one cares.
to many things to rush not enough time in the day.
to many rushing is normal,
to many i am normal.
so take it slow let everything flow don't hold anything back let it all out.
like the wind that blows,
like the water that flows through us.
the power it gives us to play around.
the stress of the rush trying to settle down.
like clouds that just flow,
and the birds that soar,
sounds of the woods calm me and more.
just slow down just don't rush.

I had a lot of difficultly keeping my attention on this. For some reason I kept getting lost in the lines and the wording and wondering just what you were saying.

I think that you could break up some of the lines and make it flow better. And in my opinion you use the word "flow" too many times. Maybe you could try to think of a little different way to put it.

...I'm torn between thinking this is brilliant or ironic.

I'm thinking you mean either:

1. That this poem reflects someone who is used to rushing and is trying to wind down and feel the wind and let out all the bottled up stress etc...in which case I would say that's great--it has that feeling.

2. You're talking about not rushing, and the poem has a sense of acceleration, perpetual motion, rushing. So it becomes ironic, and I don't enjoy it as much.

Well, I enjoyed reading it anyway.

On second thought, I think I'll decide it's brilliant, because you titled it "rush" so I think my first interpretation was the right one...I hope. If it was the second one you could have titled it Calm, or something.

I agree that you use flow a lot.

Too many blows and flows.

...Maybe it gives it the sense of repetitive inner dialogue, when you're trying to calm down: "Calm down, calm down, relax, relax, calm down, calm down, relax, relax..." You know. Have you ever done that before? I think that's what Dallas is portraying...maybe. Dallas, help me out!