An Angel Can Never Understand

I do not understand what my angel means to me,
A flawless being from Heaven, one favored by He.
Her face marks no heartbreak or suffering -
And therefore no life, no understanding.

My angel has not suffered the slings of love,
Never pulled the trigger of a gun to shoot down the peaceful dove,
For she has never made mistakes that make you cry in shame,
For she descends from Heaven and is never one to blame.

My immortal creature, melded by God’s hand,
So perfect in each way and yet she cannot understand.
Her miracles seem few upon my scarred and shattered self,
For where was she when I was forced to place dreams on the shelf?
So if she ever comes to find the problems that I see
I can only hope she understands the hurt and broken me.

Hello there

This was very creative. I liked the last stanza particularly the way it unfolded. I thought though that some of the rhyming was a bit forced,

My angel has not suffered the slings of love,
Never pulled the trigger of a gun to shoot down the peaceful dove,

Especially this part.
But in general you are right, an angel can never understand.

Good job.

Hey there!

I adore the message/meaning you're trying to get across. The battle of pure innocence with hard life and broken souls. It's a great topic to discuss and your language has good strength behind it. I especially enjoyed the first stanza.

I was expecting a bit more from this poem though. I thought there was going to be some sudden twist, something with the angel losing her innocence and finding the dark honesty of the world. I thought, surely this writer wants to talk about that, the fact that this world is not heaven - it's much darker, much worse. Nothing can stay innocent for long. But nothing really happened, the narrator just hoped and made some thoughts known, but it had no impact.

I think you should consider what you want to get across with this poem because you are dealing with heavy things. Is the world pure? Is the world evil? Can an innocent, pretty thing stay such in this world, or is everyone doomed to be fallen, like the narrator is? Also, I love to hear more about what the situations and relationships are. Why is the speaker hurt and broken? What happened to her? "Hurt" and "broken" are vague words - but if you showed us what happened, made us understand, it would have more power. Why is the angel so innocent? Who is she in relation to the narrator? Daughter, sister, friend - stranger, even? There's just so much you skipped over in this poem and I think you have so much potential in this - the message is beautiful if you worked out the smaller details of it.

Best of luck! I hope this review helped. PM me if you have any questions.

AWWWWWWWWW!!!!

This is such a sweet meaningful poem. The rhyme does not feel force which makes it even more special.

I love what you are trying to convey.

Never pulled the trigger of a gun to shoot down the peaceful dove,

This line is my only major nit pick. It seems really wordy and kind of broke the flow. This may just be me, but I thought it did.

I think the length was just right, as it is sums it up quite nicely. Anything longer would do it no justice I feel.

Well done.

PM for anything.

~Retro Disco666

I love the title and the concept for this! The poem didn't quite live up to my expectations but there's certainly potential here. I agree with a lot of what Suzanne said in fact, I'd have liked to see a little more action and to hear more about the angel. Here's a few more specific comments:

I do not understand what my angel means to me,
A flawless being from Heaven, one favored by He.
Her face marks no heartbreak or suffering - [I'm not sure about the phrasing here. Perhaps it would flow better if you changed it a little. Maybe: 'Her face has not the markings of a heartbreak's suffering']
And therefore no life, no understanding.

[I like where you could go from here. It would be an interesting twist if you went on to say that the angel's life is less consequential and therefore not a life the persona would want. Just a thought.]

My angel has not suffered the slings of love,
Never pulled the trigger of a gun to shoot down the peaceful dove,

I was a little unsure of this line as well. The rhyme feels forced to me and it's a little lengthy which breaks your flow. Also, I love the realism of the image of the gun and I feel it's ruined by the image of the dove. That's much less modern and real, less tangible and too symbolic. It's more powerful if your persona's mind thinks in solid, human terms.

My immortal creature, melded by God’s hand,
So perfect in each way and yet she cannot understand. [I really like these two lines, lovely flow.]
Her miracles seem few upon my scarred and shattered self,
For where was she when I was forced to place dreams on the shelf? [The rhythm would be helped by an extra syllable in this line. I'd suggest making on into upon.]
So if she ever comes to find the problems that I see
I can only hope she understands the hurt and broken me.

Good work! See you around,

Heather xx

ohhhh! Great! You really use the adjective "resource" to its level of usage. It really helps a lot in relaying messages to your reader. Just a little revisions and voala your done. Keep it up.