3rd times the charm

I don't care if it sounds like I want ppl to feel sorry for me, cause i don't. Poetry is about self expression, not trying to please ppl.


Kill me where I stand.
Don’t stretch it any longer.
I’ve known for the longest time
That no one wants me here.
You proved that to me.
You’ve all proven that to me,
Many, many times.
I’ve tried it,
Once,
Twice,
Three times this night.
Nothing works.
I will never prevail.
I can never say goodbye.
I know the day will come.
But when?
If I walked off a bridge,
Somehow I’d be back.
Maybe I already did
And this is Hades.
No.
Scars prove not.
Wounds prove so.

Hey. I think that this is great. It is short, and doesn't drag on, and it's right to the point. What I really like, is the last too lines. It really says what has happened, with spelling it out to the reader. I think it is really well written. And, I don't really have anything bad to say.

I agree with Kingolions that this poem is, in fact, short and sweet. I do feel like you have no pattern whatsoever; you might as well remove the line breaks and you would have normal sentences. This does have a plus side, though; I understood your punctuation perfectly, unlike the last poem I reviewed.

Hey screamanshout! I'm RepublicOfCoter but you may call me ROC.

I loved this poem! I thought it was simply amazing. It is nice and short, not dragging like others I have read. The only thing that bugged me when I was reading this was that there weren't any stanzas but I think that you can get away with it with the actual words. My favourite part was:

Scars prove not.
Wounds prove so.

What I'd like to leave you with is that I fancy these types of poems-sort of depressing.

Good luck on your further work!

MWAHAHAHA!
-RepublicOfCoter

This is a rather dandy poem!

Of course, it's a tad sad, but alot of poems are, thus, when they get to you, you understand that it's written very well and can kinda relate with the writer/person themselves.
I dont think that it flows very well, as the lines are totally different. Its more like a speech-poem

Anywho, well done!

Nova!

***/*****

Wow, that's really good. I can't wait to read your next poem.