Escape

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Do you feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins?
Help me break these binds and chains.
We've got to get out, we've got to be free.
Before they find us; absentee.

Can we really escape?
Are things in good shape?
Moonlight is glistening.
Are you listening?

Run baby, run.
Let's do the things they said can't be done.
Watch you words, be sly and clever.
There isn't a pain that lasts forever.


It's my first poem. The last line I wrote at 2 a.m, the first two I just came up with.

Devour it.
Last edited by LittlePetRock on Fri Apr 23, 2010 1:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
Star light; star bright,
It is time to take flight.
Off I go through the dark of night.
All my hopes and dreams in sight.




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hey there, LittlePet!

I liked your poem. The rhyming's good and the concept of "Escape" was really obvious to the fact that it was the "emotion" flowing throughout the poem. While I was reading this, I thought this would be also good if it was turn into a hard core music! hehe... :D

Keep writing!

Peace out!
Last edited by Yuriiko on Tue Apr 27, 2010 3:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Life is a poem keep it in the present tense." -Sherrel Wigal




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How could you ever think this was lame?! Its not just because i love poetry, honest! This has a good rhyme scheme and is very meaningful! The title fits perfectly and I absolutely love this!
~Cassi
Try smiling in the rain. When you are sad. It's harder than it looks.
~Cassi (me)




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I like it! Usually first poems are less than fantastic, but this was cute. Rhyming is difficult to carry off successfully, but I think this poem was kept short, cute and simple, and it works very well overall. I’m glad you didn’t try to over complicate things and get a “perfect” poem with meter and rhyming, etc, etc. Good job! I hope to see more of your poetry!

~Yoyo 8)
@(^_^)@
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LOVE THIS. :] Keep on writing!
“We’re having too good a time today. We ain’t thinkin’ about tomorrow.”
-Johnny Depp, Public Enemies


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Fantastic! For your first poem this is incredible (it's far better then my first poem might I add :wink:). There's so much emotion going on in this. And for some reason the line "we've got to be free." really struck home for me. Well, wrapping up this review, I have to say great job and I hope to see more poetry from you in the future. :)
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This was good. I especially loved the last verse. I can't really think of anything bad to say about it, so good job.
If you're reading this...Congratulations, you're alive. If that isn't something to smile about, I don't know what is.




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Hello LittlePetRock, my name is CaptianRandom.
i liked this poem, i think it was good but not great i think you shouldn't rhyme it, i think that put it off a little, it would have flown more if it didn't, Other than that i liked it. also i dint want to be to mean sorry if i was I'm not really a pro but great first poem. :)

-CaptianRandom
"Do not allow people to dim your shine because they are blinded. Tell them to put on some sunglasses"

"I don't want my whole life to be real, so i chose for it not to be"

"You have to not care about the goal, you hgave to love the process"
- All from Lady GaGa



Books give a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything
— Plato