Drifting

yuprincess wrote:The wind seperates
a seed and its flower,
Lifting the seed with
all its mighty power. I dunno, I don't really like this last sentence. "Mighty power" just really doesn't fit well.

As the seed and flower
slowly drift apart,
they look deep inside,
and find a broken heart. This is what confused me the most. Look deep inside themselves? How does drifting apart cause finding a broken heart? Explain a bit, please

Yet, as time goes by,
the flower and seed
feel no more sadness
and from pain, they are freed.

This is what happens when
you slowly drift apart.
You mourn and cry
and receive a broken heart.

You miss the spirit badly, but
as time goes on,
You start to get by
and the pain is gone. Alrighty, the last two stanzas make your poem sound like a speech, or an essay, and you're summing up your main points. I would either take away both stanzas, or change them thoroughly. But that's just what I think. Other than that, it was a pretty cool poem. Well done!