Waiting to Bloom

She is the seed bursting forth from the ground,
But stealthy and shy, making no sound;
And once you have heard her enchanting tone,
Then you'll feel sorry you left her alone.

She is the bud waiting to flower,
Just growing up more 'til Fate meets the Hour;
And once she has bloomed maybe then you shall see,
That she is perfection in reality.

She has the love just waiting to burst,
Timid and cautious, afraid of the hurt;
And once you know how that woman loves,
You'll realize she's the one from above.

You will see soon when she's turned a rose,
She'll be the woman you'll love the most;
And when she has shown her love through and through,
You shall cry out in agony for it won't be for you.

I wish I could give you some constructive criticism but I really can't. There must be something that could be improved (always room for that, right?) but I'm not good enough to see it. My first thought was "wow" and I think that pretty much sums it up.
If this is addressed to a real rather than a hypothetical person, I wish they could see it. It sounds to me like they need a wake-up call and this would be most appropriate.

I read this yesterday, but I think I was only half paying attention. This is great! Really original and interesting and has a great voice.

And once you know how that woman loves,

You'll realize she's the one from above.

I felt like "the one from above" is a little cliche.

You will see soon when she's turned a rose,

She'll be the woman you'll love the most;

And when she has shown her love through and through,

You shall cry out in agony for it won't be for you.

"Turned a rose" is kind of an awkward way to express to your idea. But I reallyreallyreally like the slant rhyme of rose/most.

Also the last line: the two fors bother me for some reason. You could use a semi-colon after agony and get rid of the first for. But there's actually nothing wrong with it. It's just me.

The best thing about this poem is its clear progression of ideas. Like Sol said, very well organized. You don't get lost with extraneous lines. Really well done and just beautiful.

rachel

Hello. Thanks a lot for reviewing. And no, this wasn't about a real person, just an image from the mind.

chilling and radiant

such a beatiful theme

it's so dangerous

i'm so scared

because I'm afraid it will happen to me

there is someone I love that I had to let go (for now)

I just pray that she returns

and blooms unto me...

until then

I will love and nurture

her resilient bud....

this was enlightening for me

never, ever stop writing....

I just pray that she returns

and blooms unto me...

until then

I will love and nurture

her resilient bud....

Oh my. That was a beautiful review. It was poetic. Good luck with your heart, friend.