Young Writers Society

my friend wrote this poem

Eternal Life
She-ever since six
planned to perfection
the bouquet of pearl daisies
the crystal seamed princess dress

He-learned the arts of
obedience.commitment.responsibility
a prerequisite to change
only then did he become a noble knight

Desire.devotion.divinity act as one
he concealed this entwinement until
on bended knee
he recites the desire

And she-tears vanishing with his kiss
offers the devotion

Lairs of affliction and tourturing dragons
to their precious palace-celestrial castle
the temple of divinity

They forever promise
to promise forever
living happily ever after

Arianna Phare Chantry

Not too bad at all. I didn't really like the lines with the three words connected by full-stops, but apart from that, good work. You'd probably want a more solid theme, and fix up the second stanza, it's a bit choppy. Nice work though.