The Ghosting Flame

2 posts
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Liz
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 321
Sat Mar 08, 2008 6:05 am
Liz says... · Sat Mar 08, 2008 6:05 am
Always you have been there
to staunch the weeping window-wound,
just beyond my bedroom.
Nowadays your shadow is dimmer.
I even believe I can see
the agapanthuses through you,
and your hair is more like the burning
of the sunset that is tipped out
over the back garden.
purple sneakers
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Treanna_Kills
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 3
Sun Mar 09, 2008 5:51 am
Treanna_Kills says... · Sun Mar 09, 2008 5:51 am
To be honest I only chose this poem because it had to replies yet. After I read it, I couldn't understand why. I like the over all message of the poem. Lines 1=6 flow beautifully, WHAT HAPPENED TO 7=9???

It seems as if the actual rhythm and melodic flow of the poem just dropped after line 6, I don't understand. Either way, the poem is still good, and well worded, just try to fix the flow in the last few lines.
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2 posts


This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy