Blood Kiss

Suffer me a kiss, darling
and offer me your death.
Blood before wine,
the scream in your eyes
is all that I love-
life and death are one.

Come with me my beautiful
taste not the end
but kisses of blood -
live forever in their eyes.
Come into this life of mine,
never look back again.

And like the dead around me
deeply rotting
to a slightly offbeat tune
you are falling apart,
collapsing within yourself
finding your way to die.

Suffer me a kiss, baby
the light will fade to memory.
Your tears are mine
the pain in your eyes
is all I have loved.
I am your grand finale.

Cool. That's what I thought when I read it.
You need to fix up the punctuation, missing commas an such, but I really liked it.
It reminded me of this film about becoming a vampire bride.
Good, really good work!
Charlotte

i like it alot. nothing else to say. someoone else noticed unctuation errors but i wouldnt really know about that so yeah. good. keep it up.

Very good! Keep it up. I really don't have anything else to say

I really liked this, especially the line "suffer me a kiss." Something about that was just...wow.

I don't think the two middle verses flowed quite as well as the first and last verses did, but that may just be me.

Happy Writing!

~Bella~

greatly loved... i'm jealous now!!

I really liked the sound of this poem. There was something almost lyrical about it, as if I could imagine a voice whispering or singing it.

The word choice was excellent, such as the opening and last lines. As writer_chick_13 commented, the middle verses were good but didn't seem to flow as easily as the first two. Regardless, still a darkly beautiful poem.

I really liked the sound of this poem. There was something almost lyrical about it, as if I could imagine a voice whispering or singing it.

The word choice was excellent, such as the opening and last lines. As writer_chick_13 commented, the middle verses were good but didn't seem to flow as easily as the first two. Regardless, still a darkly beautiful poem.