Alien

7 posts

On a scale of 1-20, how good is this poem?

Poll ended at Sat Mar 05, 2005 9:54 pm

1-5
0
No votes
6-10
1
25%
11-15
2
50%
16-20
1
25%
Hard to say
0
No votes
 
Total votes : 4


User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1507
Reviews 98
Dark and mysterious stranger,
Walk my way,
Tell me something,
But tell me nothing,
To give you away.

I’ll know I’ll want you.
And you’ll know it too.
But I won’t know you.
And you’ll know me too well.

So, my tall dark stranger,
Wrap me in your mystery,
Hook me, but don’t keep me.
Use me, but don't hurt me.
Drown me in secrecy.

Explore my mind,
And touch my soul.
Lick my heart.
And leave me cold.

Take me, if only for one day.
And take me to your lair.
Kiss me till I choke,
And put knots in my hair.

I’ll wait forever for your return,
And my heart will bleed ‘til dry.
And I’ll weep the years away.
And in the end I’ll die.

So, my tall dark stranger,
Wrap me in your mystery,
Hook me but don’t keep me.
Use me but don't hurt me.
Drown me in secrecy.
Last edited by Sophie on Sat Feb 26, 2005 9:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 5890
Reviews 418
Hmm, that was a pretty good poem. It flowed very well, and your rhyming style was very creative, but I didnt really get all of it. The main idea was very simple, so easy to understand, but most of it was really strange and didnt make much sense. But overall, I liked it.
Gotta a find a woman be good to me,
Who won't hide my liquor, try to serve me tea.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 323
This is a good poem; it flowed very well and the ryhme sceame was great! but I don't really unterstanf the point you were trying to get across. But this is a enjoyalbe read! nice job!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 137
I really enjoyed reading this poem it was plain and simple yet complex the words not to powerful but enough to keep you holding on.

The start was amazing it really hooked me in and I wanted to read more I love it when poems do that.

So, my tall dark stranger,
Wrap me in your mystery,
Hook me but don’t keep me.
Use me but don't hurt me.
Drown me in secrecy.


I think you should take this out at the end it just drags in on the little be too long
but otherwise it was wonderful.
wu.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 253
I rather liked this piece. The imagery was simple, although not in a crude way, and the over-passionated fakeness some love/breakup-type poems have was restrained here. The "And put knots in my hair" line just didn't work for me, though. I don't know if you were just trying to keep the ryhme going, but it made little sense.
"Just saying none of us want to conquer the world won't stop some other idiot from trying."
~Liberty and Justice, by Paul Dini

www.batmanworldblog.blogspot.com




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 112
i'm sorry, i've written some pretty bad poems in my day...but this one wasn't really all that great. people say they liked the rhyme scheme, but there was no 'scheme', only 'rhyme'. this bothers me very much. rhyming in poetry should have some order, in my opinion(and i'm sure Shakespeare would agree). my favorite part was the one you repeated, and that was barely off the platform of (meaning it was slightly better than) mediocre.

i'll say this, though: you have talent. work on your flow and structure, and try to make what you write more original, and i think you'll be a very good poet.
Am I a one eyed hunter of unicorns or a hunter of one eyed unicorns? The world may never know.




Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 92
why do people look for "order" in poetry? it boggles the mind.

like others have said, the flow is beautiful. i didn't find the content thrilling, but when the words move like water, i'm not one to complain.



Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
— Martin Luther King Jr.