Another Imagined Infidelity

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It was good until the last two lines; okay, good until the last line, which is cheesy. A nice, short read. :)




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A nice poem, i arnt too sure of its meaning or purpose but I thought it was well constructed.

I liked the last line as much as the rest of the poem.
Previously known as "Phorcys"
Witherwings Harry Potter RPG




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I am actually fond of the last line; It's meaningful to the overall poem.

And I feel weird, because I thought of Chionophobia while reading it. Which is probably out of place...

I understood, and liked, this one more than I usually do your poems. They tend to go right up and over me, but this one I liked a whole lot, it was forward in the ideas it was trying to get out and I could find myself relating to it.

a temptress running
her fingers down my arm
at a dinner party


I liked this part the most.
β€œIt's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo




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I thought of Chionophobia, too, but that's probably because I've just been reading it.
This poem didn't impress me as much as some of your others. It's well done and I don't really have much to critique but the subject and overall feeling. There wasn't anything in here that made me say, "Whoa! Yes!!" I couldn't really connect to it.
I'd like to see some more of your wonderful imagery in here.

Colleen :roll:
"My pet, I've been to the devil, and he's a very dull fellow. I won't go there again, even for you..."




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I found this to be romantic yet in a strange sense. It was unusual, I thought but I still understood it/enjoyed it. And it was refreshing.
I especially liked the second stanza. You're great at concluding.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.




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Hey Brad,

I found this a bit tweak to what I've read before, offcourse there is no need to compare, but I am used to seeing you write a little different. This poem is straight-forward to me, I connected to it immiediately didn't seem to have that with your other poems. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing, I find it neither just a difference :)

Sometimes I wake up
at three in the morning,
wounded: a temptress running
her fingers down my arm
at a dinner party, you in bed
with my best friend from childhood.
Every now and then, you hit

a new low. This time,
an exotic woman was lost
and called our number by mistake.
You guided her through
unfamiliar territory out of kindness,
your voice: a terrible calm.


Reading those two lines after each other, sounds kind of off. It would flow better if you'd had a 2 stanza's here ;)

All I have to say Brad, nice job :)

Cheerios, Chandni
I should not keep on, I'll just creep on creepin'on.




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I think you're ending just leaves the reader hanging. You should have a way to cut it off and let the reader know that it is over. Otherwise the rest was great.

au revoir!

~~*Judi Patootie*~~
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, and hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but it takes an entire lifetime to forget them.



What holds you betwixt panic and serenity? That is, if it's not among the many querulous quagmires unfit for elaboration.
— soundofmind as Emiliano Achillinus