Rose petals just as red when wet

5 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 688
Maybe you will understand love poetry
When you’re caught in Sunday rains with me
Alone, though, we were on our way
To the fabled, distant red-rosed Paris
We could petal golden sunsets
Talk philosophy, take hands and let’s
Go out into the rain together
I’m afraid, but it seems better
Fairer, almost, side-by-side with you

You haven’t learned to whisper nothings
But I am patient, I’ve learned that some things
Are worth waiting for in ill weather
Slipping inside your trench coat leather
And although the desolate, wet fingers grip me
I smile pen poetry for you, my simile
A romantic, you seem hopeless
Stuttering, I cannot confess
That all my hopes are set on you

I dream you understand
But I know this is neverland
I know I'm in the rain alone
Carpe Diem.




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 1160
Oh my god, youre' so good. I actually read this out loud like this:

Maybe you will UNDERSTAND love POETRY
When you’re caught in SUNDAY rains with me
Alone, though, we were on OUR WAY
To the fabled, distant RED-ROSED PA-RISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

And my friend who is on the phone likes the poem though
I like it too... It's so... romantic... I love it.
Will you be my best friend? :P




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 91
This one didn't really do as much for me as some of your recent stuff...I don't know why you decided to rhyme this. Was it just something randomly decided? To be completely honest, I've read (and written) myriad poems like this. "I love you, let's go to Paris and be intellectual." It was good, but not great.

On a positive note, I didn't even notice it was rhymed until the final stanza! You pulled it off pretty well.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 13816
Reviews 563
I thought this was very well done, especially your 2nd stanza and ending. The 1st stanza was alright, but didn't catch me as much as your second two stanzas did.

Go out into the rain together
I’m afraid, but it seems better
Fairer, almost, side-by-side with you


I might have just missed this, but what are you afraid of in this section? Of Paris? Of the person you're with? Of the rain?

But I am patient, I’ve learned that some things
Are worth waiting for in ill weather


So true, I love it

I dream you understand
But I know this is neverland
I know I'm in the rain alone


Gorgeous ending - powerful, short, to the point, brilliant word choice, conclusive. Perfect.

I feel like I can relate to this poem and I really enjoyed reading it. Very nicely done and please keep writing!
~ WD
If you desire a review from WD, post here

"All I know, all I'm saying, is that a story finds a storyteller. Not the other way around." ~Neverwas




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 323
Oh my god, this is awsome, frankly beutiful that's is all I can say. I really really really really really love this. I have no critque, you make me jealous of your fantastic writing abilities!!
***Honorary 11-Year-Old***

Heh-COT-ee-GUR-el

Got YWS?



Make sure you marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.
— Holden Caulfield