Dreaming of you

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EstelPax
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Mon Apr 09, 2007 11:44 pm
EstelPax says... · Mon Apr 09, 2007 11:44 pm
I still dream of you.
I still dream of us.
I still remember of the day,you said you loved me.
I still remember you death,Anakin.
I still dream of what could of been.
I still dream of what should of been ,our family.
I still dream you,Anakin Solo.
I still can hear you voice and I'll remember it always.
Last edited by EstelPax on Sat Apr 28, 2007 7:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hope for Peace
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Chevy
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Sat Apr 28, 2007 5:14 am
Chevy says... · Sat Apr 28, 2007 5:14 am
The repetitiveness kind of took away from the poem and I would also suggest altering the last line. Other than that, there's a good theme here and some potential from the way I see it.
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.
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