English Homework Help - Draft?

Hey, okay so I know that I could post this as an actual story...but I don't really want to considering it's an assignment. I was wondering, however, if someone would be willing to read through my English assignment. It's a narrative, and I'm a bit unsure of what I think of it at the moment. It would be much appreciated if someone could give me tips and areas of improvement...along with just telling me whether it's completely useless! I don't really want to post the actual story for everyone to see, so if you are willing to 'draft/review' it, would you be able to reply to this and I will message you individually?

P.s. I am relatively new to YWS, so I wasn't really sure where to post this topic :/ So sorry if it shouldn't be here!

I wouldn't mind taking a look if it's not too late! I won't be in for the rest of the night, but I can take a look in the morning.

yubbies21 wrote:I wouldn't mind taking a look if it's not too late! I won't be in for the rest of the night, but I can take a look in the morning.

i like your signature!