Nice work. I liked your use of discriptive language, which made it easy to visualize the setting, but at times the plot at times was a bit confusing. One thing you could improve on is the beginning dialog. Although it didn't really impact the plot, the guards' conversation didn't really fit the situation. Their actions greatly improved the believability of it, though. Overall I thought it was a great piece. I especially liked your use of repetition in the end. It was conclusive, but at the same time left room for more.
"Do not try to be pretty. You weren't meant to be pretty; you were meant to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky. Don't let anyone ever simplify you to just 'pretty'" — Suzanne Rivard
