Morals
I climb the stairs to Vivian’s apartment carrying two liters of extra-creamy mint chocolate-chip ice cream and a box of tissues under my arm. I stride hastily down the third floor hallway. Three young boys stop their boisterous game of tag as I near, silently eying the carpet in front of them, as if sensing my somber aura. I only knock once before Vivian ushers me in.
It’s nearing noon and Vivian is still in her pajamas, however, it looks as though she hasn’t slept a wink. I’m sure her hair is in the same braid as three days ago. Her eyes are rimmed with red.
“Oh, Viv,” I falter. She crumples into my arms and I almost loose it. I hate myself. I’m a horrible person.
“I can’t believe that bastard,” she sobs into my shoulder.
I gulp. I wonder what she’d call me. “I should put the ice cream away. It’s going to melt.” I murmur feebly.
“Of course.”
Her apartment looks like it has been neglected all week. There are piles of dirty dishes taking up all her counter space and a pyramid of Kleenexes on the floor beside the couch. A picture frame lies on the floor, splinters of glass strewn around it.
“When did you find out?”
“I’ve suspected all week. I’m so stupid! I should have seen the signs.” She slumps onto the couch. “But Noah didn’t admit it until this morning.”
My words get caught in my throat. “He told you?”
“Yeah. This morning,” Vivian’s voice quavers, “I told him not to come back.”
“I - He told you everything?” There is a sinking feeling deep in my stomach.
“Well… no. But he admitted he slept with someone else, Evelyn. He claims it only happened once,” Vivian hisses venomously, “I don’t believe that for a second.”
“Why not?” I say a little too quickly.
“Noah wouldn’t tell me her name. He doesn’t want me to know.”
“Maybe it’s better that way,” I think out loud. “You probably don’t know her regardless.”
Vivian’s eyes drill into mine, inscrutable. I sit very still. For a moment, I wonder if she can read me as well as I can her. That maybe she knows what I did. Perhaps she has known for a long time.
“You’re right. I bet it was just some skank he met in a bar.”
Simultaneously, I internally wince and relax a bit. I’m too paranoid: she has no idea.
“Evelyn, do you think... I should give him another chance? The slut might have seduced him. What if he’s telling the truth - that it was only a one-night stand?”
Not trusting myself to make eye contact, I stand and move to the kitchen. “I don’t want to tell you what to do. Though I believe he is just as at fault as the woman he slept with. And if he did it once, he could do it again.” I open the cupboards one by one but the bowls are all on the counter, dirty. “Noah doesn’t deserve you, Viv.” Neither do I, I think. I remove the ice cream from the freezer and stick two spoons in the container. “I don’t want you to get hurt again.” I take the carton back to the couch.
“Mint chocolate-chip is my favorite.”
I smile meekly, “I know.”
“Thanks for this, Evelyn. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“It’s nothing - really. This is the least I can do. You would do the same for me.”
“You’re a good friend.”
My heart breaks.
No, I’m not...
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