Dead Island

Spoiler

This is supposed to be a dream my character had, so it is short, and it doesn't seem to have a plot, and it does seem to end suddenly and unfished, but that is the point. I hope you enjoy it none the less.

The silence felt like a giant weight just dropped on my shoulders, I couldn’t breathe. Ahead of me, for as far as the crow can fly, were birch trees lined up like a forest full of skeletons. Every tree was withered and leafless, with ravens perched on every arm-like branch on every hunched over tree. This was no normal forest, manmade and unnatural. All the trees were lined up, were evenly spaced, and were in perfect rows. Every tree looked identical to its neighbor. I didn’t want to go into that rotting, wilting, dying forest.

I turned to see where I could go instead, to retreat back to where ever it was I came from, but I couldn’t move my feet. Behind me, I could hear the roaring waves crashing onto a rocky cliff, I could smell the sea salt and ice, and I could feel the stinging cold on my back. All I could do was turn my head. Behind me, the ocean was vast and endless, with a thin film of ice. Ice across the ocean… the ocean was frozen.

A shadow fell upon me, a shadow of a hawk, which screeched from above. My heart thudded in my chest and I ran. I was more afraid of that bird than the dead wood, with all its ravens leering down at me from their perches, all its dead trees lined up in perfect rows. The hawk screeched again as I ran bare footed over the gray rocky soil. The soil had deep jagged lines running through it, like the withered puckered old skin of an elderly man who had spent too many long hours under the hot sun.

The crows launched themselves into the air, clawing at me, tearing at me, making me bleed. My blood was the only color I could see against all the grays and dusty browns of the ground, sky, and trees. The red ran like a river onto the cold hard ground, splattering, and leaving a trail to follow. The crows joined the hawk in the sky and the shadow grew until it covered everything in sight. Swiftly, the shadow got larger, got nearer to the ground; I could feel each burst of air as the giant bird flapped its wings. I couldn’t let it touch me, I couldn’t; I had to get away. Before I could run faster, before the bird could reach down its clawed feet, everything went black…

Outstanding work. Truly enjoyed reading it, you conveyed the fear of it perfectly. Your imagery and words made me think that if I had that dream, I'd probably wet myself. Great job, really liked it.

i really enjoyed reading your short story. to start off, you really captivated your audience with a bold and descriptive beginning of the setting. you really conveyed your message of fear and i loved reading it.
there is a lot of suspense in your story and you created a scary and spooky atmosphere which fitted the story perfectly.
when i finished the story i was still thinking of what would have happened and i wished you wrote more. overall, it was an excellent fictional composition.
your an amazing writer and i can't wait to read your other posts.

I really loved the imagery in here! This was very descriptive and so full of emotion. It is hard not to get swept into the dark, intense mood of this. Well done! I especially liked this part:

My blood was the only color I could see against all the grays and dusty browns of the ground, sky, and trees.

I thought that this line painted a really clear picture.
I also thought that you did a very good job of making this "dream-like". I have never had a dream like this, but I can easily see this being a dream. I'm not sure if this was done on purpose or not, but I know in my dreams I always seem to know something bad is going to happen, far before it does. I will see someone and right away know to run, even though they don't particularly seem like they are going to hurt me, and yet as soon as I run they follow. I thought the same thing happened here with the crow. The MC started running right away, even though in reality I personally wouldn't have ran just for seeing a bird, but then after the MC starts running the bird attacks. I thought it made the story very realist... if that makes any sense? Anyways, basically what I am trying to say is that you really portrayed the whole dream feeling. Even the way you described the setting made it seem like a dream. Everything just seemed so dark and dreary, something you'd expect from a nightmare.
My only suggestion is to watch out for cliches, or well often used statements. Two that I noticed that you used were:

for as far as the eye could see

and

I could hear the roaring waves crashing onto a rocky cliff.

There is nothing wrong with you using those lines, they just are a little too familiar. I'm just being picky, so no worries, but it was the only thing I could find to correct. You don't have to change them, but if you can find a more unique or creative wording, more specifically for the first one, it would be better. But like I said, I'm just being nit-picky.

Overall, I really enjoyed this! Great story and great writing