Spoiler
I actually already posted the first part of this story, but I honestly didn't like it, and it seemed like most people agreed with me. Here is the original, which I like a lot better because I deleted a bunch of it when I edited it. Since it is the original it is long and very rough. I will probably be making frequent changes to it, and I could really use some help fixing this up! All suggestions are greatly appreciated 
Also, there is death in this story. It is not gruesome, but it is sad.
Also, there is death in this story. It is not gruesome, but it is sad.
I knew that I had to do something, but my numb legs wouldn't budge. They felt like two tree trunks that had grown roots deep into the hardwood floors. I watched with terror-filled eyes as he clutched the knife so tight that his entire right arm began to tremble unnervingly. I could see his knuckles beginning to turn a ghostly white, and his breathing was doubling in time. Our racing heart beats pulsed in unison like a tribal drum. I looked up into his burning brown eyes, which reminded me of two jittery wild fires determined to kill. I swallowed the bundle of nerves that had collected at the back of my throat in an effort to ease my breathing, but with no prevail.
Holding his gaze and in the most collected voice that I could manage under the circumstances, I tried reasoning with him, “Please Colton, you… you don’t have to do this. It’s okay.”
He dropped his gaze from mine for an instant, but then brought his dark eyes back up to my blue ones as he responded, “No, it’s not Ashley. I’m sorry but this is the only way. The easiest way.”
His words sent a cold, sharp finger from the nape of my neck straight down to my lower back.
One month ago.
I was at home working on my English essay when my cell phone rang. I checked the caller I.D to see that it was my friend, Colton, calling. We aren't really close friends, but we talk during our biology class and we share the odd phone call. He is a quiet guy that often keeps to himself. Not many people know or talk to him, but that’s high school for you, if you aren't considered “popular” or worth talking to, then you can enjoy being invisible. We actually only began talking because in grade nine we had math together. I guess he began developing a crush on me, but I never liked him in that way. Even though things didn't turn out exactly how he wanted them to, we became good friends because of it.
I picked up my cell phone and said, “Hey¸ Colton. Wha-”. I was cut off by the sounds of heavy breathing and what possibly sounded like tears. “Colton? Colton, are you okay?” My voice rose in alarm.
Between shaky breaths and loud sobs he sputtered out, “I…I… I killed her. I swear I didn't m-mean t-t-to do it. I just… I-I... don’t know what… happened.”
My eyes widened and my entire body froze into place like a human statue. I was at a complete loss of words but knew that I had to say something, so I intelligently asked, “What?”
“I killed my dog, Ashley! I’m a murderer!” He cried so loudly into the phone that I had to pull it away from my now ringing ear.
I stared blankly into my computer screen. The words on my screen began to blur together as my buzzing head tried to make sense of his words. For a simplistic sentence, I was having great difficulty comprehending it.
I heard Colton sniffle quietly before asking, “Ashley, are you still there?”
His voice was like an electric shock that sent my body back into motion. “I’m still here. I just… I’m just trying to understand what happened.”
“Me too, I’m going crazy trying to figure out what happened. All I know is that she is dead, and I think I…”. There was a brief pause before he finished his sentence, “I think I killed her. But I’m not a murderer, I’m just not.”
His words made me feel even more confused. “Hold on a second, what do you mean you think?”
There was silence for a solid minute. As soon as I was positive that he had just hung up, I heard his voice explode in a rush. “I was doing my homework and she was barking for no reason. I told her to be quiet over and over, but I swear she just got louder. She was really getting on my nerves. The next thing I knew the barking was gone and she was lying on the floor beneath me. She wasn't moving and the way she was laying was in an awkward position. I also noticed that she was bleeding. I had no idea what was going on. I mean, one minute she is annoying the heck out of me and the next she is bleeding on the floor and I’m in a different room. I thought that maybe something fell on her and I came to check it out, until I felt something wet seep through my sock. I looked down to see that it was also blood. When I looked to my hand, I saw… a knife. That’s when I knew that it must have been me.”
There were three loud heartbeats of silence. Then all that I could think to say was, “Oh my gosh.”
“I swear I didn't mean to do it though! You have to believe me, Ashley. I don’t even remember doing it.” We were both quiet. His voice then came back in a whisper, “I’m scared, Ashley. I’m scared of what I’m capable of.”
“I still don’t get what happened. How do you not remember doing that?”
He erupted back into messy sobs, “I don’t know! I-I have no idea w-what I… just did. Nothing m-makes… s-sense. What am I su-supposed to do?” I heard him gulp loudly, followed by more tears.
“I think you should tell someone, someone that can help you.”
“Tell someone? I can’t tell anyone! I will get charged with murder and everyone will think that I’m some dangerous psycho that kills animals just for the heck of it. You have to promise me that you won’t tell anyone. I’ll figure something out on my own. Promise me, Ashley. Please.”
I knew that he was making a terrible mistake by not telling anyone, but I also knew that he was right. His situation was looking really bad. I was even afraid of him, and I knew he was honestly as freaked out by this as I was. As much as I knew we had to tell someone, I promised to keep his dark secret safe.
The next day at school things were insanely awkward. I repetitively tried convincing myself that Colton was not dangerous, but whenever he looked up at me in biology my whole body froze. Apparently when put under stress, my body just decides to shut down. I have no idea why it does that, but I guess that is just my way of coping.
When Colton called me that night, I let my phone keep ringing. When he called an hour later, I again ignored his call. I felt bad, but I just couldn't talk to him then. What are you supposed to say to someone after they tell you that they've killed their own dog, yet have no conscience memory of doing so? I knew that the conversation would not go well, so I just avoided it. I kept my distance from Colton for the next week. I would wave to him whenever I passed him in the halls, but kept hurrying on to wherever I was going. In biology I kept myself occupied with my work and other friends. At home I let his phone calls go to voicemail. By the end of the week I had a grand total of eighteen messages from him. I know, I’m an awful friend, but I couldn’t gather up the nerve to deal with what had happened.
Finally when he called Saturday afternoon I decided to answer. Our conversation was actually a lot more normal that I thought it would be. It started off predictably uncomfortable, as I tried explaining why I ignored him for so long, but he thankfully understood. Then we both started to relax. Our conversation swayed back to the normal. By the time I hung up, I felt a lot better than I originally did.
The next week things were pretty ordinary considering what had happened. I was able to talk to him in class without my whole body turning numb, and the fear that I was filled with dwindled down to a precautious alertness. As much as I wanted everything to be perfectly fine with Colton, I couldn’t trust him. His guilt sparkled in his dark brown eyes every day, yet I still felt uneasy around him. It was like I was just waiting for something to occur. I was waiting for the murderous Colton to return. Unfortunately that day came.
Almost three weeks after Colton stabbed his dog to death, I got another chilling phone call. Colton had killed a boy from our school. Yes, a living, breathing, teenage boy. As you can imagine I was in complete shock. My body froze as if my room instantly dropped to minus one hundred degrees Fahrenheit, but only after I was able to hang up my phone. When he called back a few seconds later I didn’t hang up. Instead I stayed mute as I let him try to explain what he did.
He strangled his elementary school tormentor to death. His name was Tyler and he was in grade twelve like Colton and I. From grade six until grade eight Tyler enjoyed bullying Colton. It ranged from sneer comments to pushing him around at recess. Since Tyler’s friends would also join in, not many people defended Colton. They just let the teasing continue and pretended like nothing was going on. Tyler did manage to accumulate a few detentions and suspensions, but nothing that really deterred him. He was a bored kid that used my friend as his own rag doll. He threw him around, made him feel excluded from all of the other students, and constantly called him names. Tyler was a downright mean person, and far from innocent. Did he deserve to die before even graduating high school though? Well, I don’t think anyone could deserve that.
The scariest part of all of this- I know, you’d think that the actual strangling would be the scary part, but no- is the fact that Colton has no memory whatsoever of killing Tyler. He isn’t even really sure why he did it, or how for that matter. I am even a little surprised that he was able to wrap his relatively small hands around Tyler’s meaty neck. Tyler isn’t fat, but he is muscular. Logically, Mr. Muscles should have been able to shake Colton off of him and then throw him effortlessly down the hallway like an over-sized football. My worrisome friend is only five foot two, while his bully is a towering six foot or so. Now do you get why that is the frightening part? It shouldn’t be physically possible.
I tried pressing Colton for some answers about how that could be possible but he was just as perplexed as I was. Neither of us could figure it out. He said that no matter how much he tried remembering what happened, his mind just went blank. He could recall what happened before and after. Before he “blacked out”, he was walking down the hallway towards his bus when he saw Tyler. He looked at Colton, but then kept walking to wherever he was going. The next thing Colton could remember is standing over his dead body behind the school. There was no one around and it was half an hour after school was finished. I don’t know what went on during those thirty minutes, but it definitely wasn’t pretty.
It was safe to say that I was terrified of Colton. Not frightened enough to call the cops like any reasonable person would, but enough to make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up tall, and my heart beat quicken. This was accompanied by my standard full body shut down of course. The following three days he tried calling me numerous of times. I ignored them all. After his tenth message in three days I decided to call him back. I didn’t call him to sympathize with him, but to encourage him to seek help yet again. He was stubborn and said that he would only be arrested. I simply reminded him that he did kill someone, who oddly enough has no leads in their murder, but this only made him even more resistant to contact a psychologist. After fifteen minutes of bantering back and forth I exasperatedly hung up.
At the end of the following day I was walking to my bus with my boyfriend Jeremy. The two of us had been dating for almost two years now, and it was our daily routine to walk to our buses together. As we were on our way out I saw Colton. I looked up at him because I was planning on saying something to him, but I decided against it because Jeremy was with me and I really didn’t know what to say. It didn’t seem like there was anything that I could say to change his mind about staying quiet. Instead I just smiled briefly to him and then went on my way with Jeremy.
Once we got outside Jeremy realized that he forgot one of his books. Since my bus was right there, I just got on it and Jeremy went back into the school alone. When my bus drove out of the parking lot I texted Jeremy to make sure he didn’t miss it. I was a little worried when he didn’t answer within five minutes, so I texted him again. When I got home and he still never answered, I decided to call him but there was no answer. I called two more times after that but with no luck. I’m not usually such a paranoid and overprotective person, but something just didn’t feel right. I got this dark, haunting feeling in the pit of my stomach that warned me that Jeremy was not all right. I then tried calling his house, but again there was no answer. At this point a really sick and twisted thought occurred to me, what if Colton did something to him? What if he hurt him? What if some other psycho person hurt him? All of these insane thoughts began bouncing around in my head like a cluster of tennis balls. I know this may seem a little excessive and judgemental, but I called Colton. I called him five times but with no answer. Now I really felt like something was off. I then called a taxi and went to his house.
By the time I got there I was always crying. I banged on his front door in a rude but desperate manner. When Colton opened the door his head was bowed slightly, but not enough to hide the guilt that cast a shadow over his already dark eyes. When I saw him, I know immediately that my instincts were right, as if to confirm that, the pit of my stomach squeezed tightly with pain.
Hot tears were running down my face like two endless streams. My breathing was rough, but I still managed a strong voice, “What did you do?”
He didn’t say a word.
“Colton, what did you do?” My voice rose with anger.
He shifted his weight uncomfortably, but still kept facing down towards the concert porch. “What d-do you mean?”
“I think you know what I mean, since I’m obviously crying for a reason. What did you do to Jeremy?”
“I-I don’t know. What do you mean?”
I couldn’t take his petty little games anymore. I knew he did something to him and I had to know what. My voice shattered through the dead air with anger and force. “I know you hurt him! Stop lying to me like I’m some idiot. Man up for once and tell the truth. Tell me what you did!”
He gulped loudly and still couldn’t bring his eyes to mine. “I’m really sorry, Ashley. You have to believe that I never meant to hurt him. I had no control over what I was doing, I didn’t even know I was doing it. I’m so, so sorry. I would give anything to take it back.”
My stomach tightened into a knot and my breath got caught in the back of my throat where a large ball of pain had collected. I knew what he did before he said it, but hearing it made it real. It was no longer an assumption but an actual fact. All I could think to ask was, “Why?”
He finally brought his eyes up to mine, and they were also filled with sparkling tears. He was surprisingly crying as hard as I was. It was hard to understand his mumbled words. “I-I…I d-don’t kn-kn-know. I-I do-don’t know w-what’s… wrong… w-with m-me. I-I’m s-so sorry. I-I just can’t control it.”
“Sorry is not going to bring him back.”
“I know.”
“How could you kill him? Wh-what has he ever d-done to you. Jeremy… Jeremy was kind to everyone.” I was cut off by a flood of thick tears. I was beginning to have trouble breathing because of them. When Colton failed to respond, I screamed through the mucus in my mouth, “Well?!”
“I… I love you, Ashley. I always have. I-I know t-that I said I was over you, but I wasn’t. I’m still not. As much as I want to be just friends with you, I can’t. I… I can’t stop thinking about you. Your full-of-life blue eyes, your infectious laugh, your-“.
“Stop it!” I cut him off abruptly. I couldn’t listen to anymore. I wasn’t going to let the guy that just murdered my boyfriend guilt trip me. I hated him, and I wanted to keep it that way. I wasn’t going to let him try and make me sympathize with him. He is a murdered, end of story. There are no reasons or excuses. He’s a monster.
“That’s not a reason, Colton. That is nowhere close to a justifiable reason for killing him. Did you know that I love him? Yup, I think I actually might just love him. Now he’s gone because you got jealous and decided to kill him! How could you? What kind of animal does that? I swear you are not even human. Any normal human being would have gotten helped. Any normal person would have realized that there is something incredibly wrong with them after they killed their own dog. What in the world is wrong with you? What is wrong with me? To think that I could actually be friends with a monster like you. I- I don’t even know who you are.” My voice shook the ground beneath us.
His only response was a whispered, “Sorry.”
“Enough! You are not sorry. If you were sorry, you would have gone to a doctor right away like I suggested. You would have turned yourself into the police. You are not sorry, you are a coward. You want to know something, Colton? I tried so hard to empathize with you, to convince myself that it really was not your fault, but I’m done. I am completely done with you. It is your fault, and you need to own up to that.”
I whirled around and raced down his steps. I could hear his pleading voice calling after me, but I didn’t dare look back. I couldn’t stand looking at him and what he has become. He is definitely not the sweet Colton that I once knew, I have no idea who, or what he has become.
I would have been contempt with never speaking to Colton again, but I got a strange text three days after he killed my boyfriend. I again had been ignoring his calls. Also, since I hadn’t left my room for the past three days because I had been too busy drowning in my own tears, I hadn’t seen him at school. I would have deleted his text like all of his others, but this one alarmed me. His text message said that he was going to commit suicide. I wasn’t sure whether he was telling the truth or not, but I decided to go over. I figured that would be the only way to really tell if he was lying or not.
It wasn’t until I was about the knock on his door that I realized how foolish I was being. I was going to a potential serial killer’s house at night all by myself. I think that going skydiving without a parachute would have been a smarter decision. I was about the turn around and go home, when Colton swung open the door. I could tell from his puffy, blood-shot eyes that he had been crying. That meant that thankfully I was not being set up, but on the other hand it meant that Colton was being serious.
We both stood silently for what felt like an eternity. I wanted to say something but my dry mouth felt like it was cemented together. I was waiting impatiently for him to fill the dead air.
Finally, Colton awkwardly offered, “Um, so do you want to come inside?”
As I walked into his house I nodded my head and mumbled, “Yeah, thanks.”
It was obvious that no one else was home from the eerie silence and the darkness that invaded the house. The only source of light was from a small lamp in the living room. If this scene was freaky enough, sitting on the couch was a sharp butcher’s knife. Okay, things were really starting to resemble a horror movie.
Unable to peel my eyes away from the blade, I protested in a robotic voice, “You can’t actually do it.” I blinked once and then turned my attention back to Colton, who had tears gliding down his face. “Think about all of the people that you are going to hurt. Don’t do it.”
He wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his gray sweater. “Think of all the people that I am going to hurt? What about all of the people that I have hurt? Ashley, I think I have some sort of split personality disorder. I have no control over the psychotic killer part of me. I can’t even remember what happens when he takes over. I’m doing this because I'm thinking of all of the people that I will hurt, if I stay alive. If he stays alive. This is the only way.”
Knowing the truth of his words and the seriousness of his tone burned a hole in the middle of my stomach. Even though I knew he was right, I tried convincing him otherwise, “There are doctors for that. You can get help. I’m sure there are many other people out there that are just like you. The doctors will know what to do.”
He rolled his eyes and his voice was tinged with sarcasm. “Yeah, they will lock me in some mental hospital and throw pills down my throat every hour. What kind of life is that?”
“It’s a life that has potential to improve. If you kill yourself you will only be giving up.”
“Well, I killed two people so I shouldn’t deserve to live. Everyone will hate me. You already hate me.”
His words were like a slap across my face. “I don’t hate you,” I objected defensively.
He sighed deeply. “Yes, you do. I can see it in your eyes right now. You fear me, but mostly you hate me. Your words may say one thing, but your eyes scream another.”
I instinctively dropped my eyes to the ground. “That’s not true,” I muttered.
His voice was oddly calm for the circumstance. “You were right, I am a monster. How can I possibly live a normal human life when I can only control half of me?”
I opened my mouth to retort, when Colton cut me off. “I know, I know, doctors can help me, but I don’t want their help. I already feel like I am loosing myself, and I don’t want to completely vanish behind whatever meds they give me. I want to be me, not some over medicated robot.”
“How do you know they will give you medication?”
“Okay, so it’s either the pills or a straightjacket and padded room. Humph, both options seem oh so tempting.” His words reeked of sarcasm.
I chewed on my lip as I watched his march over to the couch and pick up the knife.
“Colton, put it down! You aren’t thinking clearly. ” My voice squeaked with desperation.
“I have been thinking about this for the past three days. Actually, I haven’t stopped thinking about this since our fight. I hate who I have become, and I hate how many people I’ve hurt… especially you. It… it killed me seeing you so upset the other day. I can’t live like this.” His head fell, with the tears from his eyes.
“If you die it won’t change anything. It won’t bring back Jeremy, Tyler, or your dog. Sure, I am upset about what happened, but that doesn’t mean I want you dead.”
“I died the day I killed my dog.”
My eyes flitted between his and the knife. His arm was shaking violently as his hand tightened around it. All that I could hear were our racing heart beats.
I feared that nothing I could say would change his mind but I begged him anyway. “Please Colton, you… you don’t have to do this. It’s okay.”
His glazed eyes looked distant as he responded, “No, it’s not Ashley. I’m sorry but this is the only way. The easiest way.”
I felt ice cold water run down my back. My eyes widened in horror as he lifted the knife towards his chest.
In a panic, I swung out my cell phone. “Stop! I’ll call the police!”
He shrugged his shoulders but lowered the knife. “Go ahead, I will be dead by the time they get here.” He said way too nonchalantly.
I could feel my throat closing up, and my breathing was laboured. “Stop being so sadistic, you can’t do this.”
“You should leave now.”
“There’s no way I am leaving.”
In a robotic voice he warned, “I will give you until the count of five to leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” I informed sternly as I crossed my arms across my chest.
“Five.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“Four.”
“Just stop it, Colton!”
“Three.”
“Please Colton, I’m sorry about all of the things that I said. I was just mad.”
“Two. You really should leave now, Ashley because I don’t want you to see this.”
“Then put down the knife and don’t let me see it!” Anxiety echoed throughout my voice.
“I’m sorry, Ashley.” Colton took a deep breath as I screamed his name with all the force that I had. He brought the knife directly above his heart. I ran towards him but I was too late. His whispered voice lingered in the air between us, “One.” He drove the knife through his heart with a grunt. He then crashed to the ground like an old building being demolished.
My body mirrored his as I collapsed beside his bleeding body. I immediately called the police and then after that everything was a blur. Everything was happening at the speed of light. Colton and I were rushed to the hospital, but they couldn’t save him. When the doctors finally told me that it was too late, I…I didn’t really care. I am sad that he is gone, but in a way I know that this is better for him. I miss him, but he was right about everything that he said tonight.
You fluency was great but in some places a little jumbled up; only a little. You had a great, strong voice in this, and i think that what made this piece a very moving, and deeper piece 