Can you review a story I am writing so far? My name is Victoria, I am new and just began writing a story. It has no title yet (can use help there too.) I just want to know if I should continue on. Thank you for the help!!!
Here goes....
“Taylor please hurry, we’ll be late!”
It was my mothers first day at her new job and my first day at my new school. I’ve been running around my room for the past two hours trying to get ready. I looked at the mirror.
“Ew, it’s wrong.” I spoke to myself. I must have changed at least six times. I was trying to be someone different, I was given the chance to start over and I was going to take it. I graved a red skirt and black blouse out of the bag of new clothes my mother just bought me and threw it on. Everything in that bag was something I would have gagged at before so I knew they were perfect now.
“Taylor!”
Mirror check.
“Coming!”
‘Richard Bailey High School’ I read as we drove up to my new school.
“Here we are Sweetie. Would you like me to walk you in?” I considered my mothers offer for a minute and then decided against it.
“No Mom I’m not a kid.”
“Okay, well good luck try to make a lot of new friends.” My mother always worried because I had very little friends at my old school.
“Um right, see you at 3:00?”
“I work till 5 so you’ll have to walk home.”
“Okay see you at 5 then, bye.”
“I love you, have a great day!” I step out of the car and closed the door. My mother drove off and I graved my phone to call her back. I am not ready for a new start. I can’t remember any of the lines I gave myself to say or my new persona. I can’t do this.
“Hey, you look lost. Are you new?” A short red-headed girl was standing in front of me with a huge smile on her face. Right the new me wears a huge smile also.
“Yes I’m new, I’m Taylor.” I stuck out my hand. She shook it with a bit too much enthusiasm.
“Hello Taylor I’m Courtney! Well where are you headed to?”
“Well I need my schedule I’m no-“
“Oh you’ll need to go to the main office.” Courtney said cutting me off.
“I can take you follow me!” I had to walk fast to keep up. As Courtney walked she kept a smile on her face, something I’ll have to work at, and told everyone she passed ‘hello.’ We got to the door that was labeled ‘main office.’
“Okay go in there and ask the lady at the desk, her name is Ms. Timmel, for your schedule. I have to go to sign-up for cheerleading. I want to be he first on the list. See ya!” Courtney bounced away. Cheerleading would be perfect for the new me, I must remember to sign-up. I opened the door and walked in. I was surrounded by cold air. For some reason the main office was more air conditioned then the rest of the school.
“Close the door!” I am assuming this is Ms. Timmel.
“Oh sorry. Um I’m new and need my schedule.”
“Well what’s your name hun?” This lady was very intimidating.
“Taylor Anew.” She began typing angrily on her computer. She must really hate her job. She printed out a paper and handed it to me.
“Your homeroom is in room 301. The bell is going to ring any minute so you should hurry.”
“Thank you.” I walked out and swiftly walked to my class. I have to go to the third floor I hope I make it. And just as I thought that the bell rang. I Started jogging up the stairs skipping steps. Finally I made it to homeroom. Before I walked in I straighten out my hair and clothes, took a deep breath and opened the door. I Interrupted the teacher in mid-sentence I was so embarrassed.
“Hi, I am Mr. Kel. May I see your schedule? Taylor Anew?”
“Yes Sir.”
“Oh Sir you don’t have to call me that Kel is fine you can choose any seat.”
My eye was immediately drawn to Courtney, maybe because she was waving. I took the empty seat next to her. She smiled at me and I smiled back. It made me feel better to know I knew at least one person, kind of.
“Well homeroom will be a little longer since it’s the first day and all so I let you guys catch up.” The class began murmuring everyone gathering into their own little groups. Courtney had several people turned to her.
“Well Taylor we’ve all been together for 3 years so You’ll have to get to know everyone. Everyone this is Taylor, Taylor this is everyone.”
“Hi!” I had the biggest smile on my face yet no one seemed interested in speaking to me.
“Hi.” One girl said unenthusiastically. “So Courtney what are you joining this year?” as Courtney began to read off her list I looked around the class room. I looked at the faces of my new class mates. These are the people I have to make friends with, all of them. The thought was exhausting. As I scanned them my eyes where caught by someone who was staring at me. I was shocked this person I knew. I knew her more than Courtney. But how is she here? This can not be happening this person represents the person I don’t want to be. She brings back old memories, how will I change who I am with her here? I turn my head and act like I am interested in what Courtney is talking about. I’ll act like I never seen her, like I never met her. I am a new person.
