Nohbdy

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 2
When the young dawn with fingertips of rose came, I was seated on my usual perch. Watching people wonder within the town center I whispered under my breath, "Ignorant louts." I spat on the ground at the town's oblivious nature. They didn't even notice me within their midst. I eyed the bustling crowd, waiting.
Then I saw her. She was the choicest of the flock, with her smooth build and features along with her bouncy black curls. Her blue dress hung limply around her knees and she seemed to be struggling to walk in her black heels. Her yellow green eye's stared at me for a moment, then moved on. I smiled as I watched my next victim stagger toward 5th avenue.
I pulled myself off the stone fountain wall with a natural force to follow the young girl. She walked into a deserted alleyway next to an old and battered bread shop. I smiled at her utter stupidity as I followed her, listening to the busy noises fade into the distance.
When I slipped into the damp alley, she didn't notice me. I watched her fumble with a cell phone in frustration until she glanced at me. The girl froze for a moment, coldly staring at me. Her voice, fiery and smooth, spat the words "Who are you" into the silence.
I smiled, "My name is Nohbdy." I reached into the pocket of my dark trench coat and pulled out a fishing knife. "Mother, Father, friends, everybody calls me Nohbdy." She tensed as i approached her, holding the knife to her smooth neck. She tried to scream, but no noise came out.
"Your a bloody monster." She said as tears fell down her cheeks. I silenced her in a instant, and watched the life fade out of her eyes. Blood dripped onto my black boots and I sighed, "Or so they say.."

Spoiler
This seemed okay for my first story to post.
I wrote this for my English class, but its edited on here. I'm sorry if my capitalization or punctuation is off my keyboard is sticking.
Last edited by EveryOneNeedsAHero on Fri Apr 08, 2011 12:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
And they say that a hero can save us.
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold onto the wings ofthe eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.
<3




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 6338
Reviews 140
I REALLY like this!
>insert review here<
I am pressed for time, so I will reserve my spot.
Nice job, though!

---------------
-Jojo
Solvalery/GeeLyria Fans
Link




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 1267
Reviews 8
Hi, this is really good. I liked the quick successive sentences - it really drew me in. Just a few typos "her green eye's" should be "eyes", and you had a lowercase "i" in there - obvious things you're probably aware of. Keep up the good work and I'm looking forward to reading more from you:)



what are stories if not just vehicles for the pain of your own heart
— soundofmind