‘The Third Man’
Author's Note: Your story is about a man at the top of your head licking lollipops. (815 Words)
I’m told – now and again – that the majority of you folks don’t have a third man like me. I don’t know if that makes me different, ‘cause I never liked being different; different gets you bullied; different makes you stand out.
My third man ain’t like other people’s third man either. Mine is just an inch high, just ‘bout the same size in width too, and likes to lick lollipops. I told my third man the lollies was makin’ him sick, but he didn’t listen to me. He never listens to me; just stays up there lickin’ his lollipops and now and ‘gain he feels the need to tell me some kind’a advice – as if he had already lived and knew everythin’ there was to know. Pfft, I always tell ‘im, How would you know? You just got an education in lickin’ lollipops so don’t tell me that y’know what I should do. You don’t know nothin’!
But like I said: he never listens to me. The third man and I – which my Gramps told me is the right way to word it, rather than me n’ the third man – walked into our local chippy the other day; down on Merkin’s Street. Not many people were ‘round that day, which is odd in my town ‘cause Merkin’s Street is usually busy around November time. People are always runnin’ around eager to get the presents long before Christmas – bunch’a crack pots, Gramps had told me on several occasions. Anyway, I’m drifting. My English teacher says it ain’t good to drift when you’re writing a tale ‘cause you end up losin’ the reader’s interest. I have this skill to get ‘em back into the read though; ‘tis a secret that my teacher told me one day. What you do is you write an onomatopoeic word like this: BANG! Apparently it is a crafty technique that makes the ‘skimmin’ readers pay some damn attention’ my Gramps told me when I asked why my teacher told me to do it. Gramps always knows things, he’s like an IQ bank – unlike the third man, who is just silly. So damn silly.
So I was in the chippy – the third man and I – when I walk up to the counter and run into my friend from school. Her name is Jessie. Jessie’s the only one, other than Gramps, who believes that I got this third man. Jessie says she likes lollipops too, but I don’t like it when she says that, ‘cause it makes me feel like she prefers that idiot over me. I like Jessie; she’s kind n’ sweet and my mother told me I should build a good friend-bond with her – Mum had passed away too, which kind’a made the memory stick in my head more. When we had ordered fish and chips, Jessie asked me, “Have you named your third man yet?”
The question threw me back, ‘cause when she asked, the third man dropped his lollipop on my head and startled me. I didn’t like it when he did that, but I knew when he did he was finally payin’ some attention. Names had always made me wonder though – I mean, what is a good name? Some people are named after Greek sayings, but I think this is silly. Greek sayings are usually made up and that means names are made up too. I prefer facts. Facts have less questions, facts can be proved. Then again, my third man was silly. Real silly. Maybe a Greek saying-name was perfect for the lollipop licking idiot. I didn’t know many Greek names, but there was an advert for a movie recently, called “Alexander”. I haven’t seen that movie. It’s rated 12, and I’m only 10. I could watch it in two years, but I think I would’ve forgotten it by then.
“Alexander,” I replied to Jessie, hoping to impress her with my imagination.
“Hello Alexander,” she smiled and patted me on the head gently. “Enjoy your lollipop! I’ll see you tomorrow, Sean. Okay?”
I couldn’t reply by the time she’d skipped off into her Mum’s car and began waving while it drove away. I was in a state o’ silence. It don’t happen to me much, but when it does, it kind’a feels good. I like silence – not too much though. Then I realised. Alexander had gone. Jessie had patted him away. Suddenly I felt sad, but then it came to me; I’m free now and so is Alexander.
The third man and I was no more. I was Sean again – and that, that made me smile.
