Young Writers Society


Lack of a name for now...

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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 36
This could very well become sci-fi or fantasy but I dont know. Its more a philosphical thing I think. Here is an excerpt.

Stepping from the porch of the temple, the girl looked down into the black chasm. If she fell into it, she thought, she would fall forever more. A chilling gust of air blew out of the chasm, forcing the girl to step back. The questions of the universe could be hers if she would take the fateful leap into the bottomless pit. Knowledge was what she feasted upon and this hunger pushed her fears to the side. Dancing at the edge of eternity, the girl laughed with glee. But like all things, the excitement came to an end, and she stood solemnly staring into the darkness of the netherworld rift. Finally, her curiosity overcame her. Slowly stepping forward, she let one foot dangle in the cold air above the chasm, and then brought the other one out to meet it. For a moment she levitated on the air, her breathing quickening as she consumed a few trickles of wisdom. The cushion of air left her though, and a cackle escaped her throat as she entered into the mouth of the pit.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by frost.




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Gender Female
Points 6090
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This is really very cool- but too short to full critique. So the only thing I'd do for now is get another word for chasm: you use it twice in the same section. (I know, I love that word too...)

Very vague, yet you have a bright picture of what's going on. Uberspiffy.
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin




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Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 36
Yes i dont want too many details like setting or character stuff but i want the reader to have their own idea and have good imagery from a few words. there is more to follow, trust me.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by frost.




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Gender Female
Points 6194
Reviews 481
Interesting. I'd like to see where this goes.




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Gender Female
Points 1050
Reviews 267
This is interesting, although it made me think that what would happen with the rest of the story is that all she would do is get wise, and nothing would actually happen....but I'm interested in the next part :)




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 335
This is very intriguing; only a paragraph, but it's already gripped me.I'd really like to see where it goes. It seems very sci-fi-ish, but it's hard to tell from just one paragraph...

You should totally continue this. The suspense is killing me!! Lol.
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