not finished,good so far?

-The streets are filled with children, playing their games awaiting the school bells of fall. Summers humid air fills my breaths as I walk the cracked and splitted sidewalk.
-"Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posie, ashes...ashes...ashes...we all fall...down..."
-Ashes fall from my ciggerette that losley hangs from my lips. Their singing clouds my head, fogging the reason I came to the city in the first place. Hop-scotch boards smudge under neath my scuffling feet. Between the bricked buildings, the sun falls low, diving deep into the oceans waters.
-Streetlights flicker on right as I reach the building I've been searching for, the building that will recover the secrets in my head, the building that will reveal the truth to ones I've haunted, the building that will hopefully put it all at rest.
-The steps are worn from rain and footsteps, the rails are chipped and fadding, the doorman stands, waiting to pull the two gold doors open. Just as it was seven years ago, the lobbey has the front desk to the left and the golden rimmed elevators ahead, the same elevators that will carry me the top floor. I step towards the doors ready to click the up arrow when a familar voice steps into hearing.
-"Ms.Carole just got in." Did this man really see me? Did he acutally talk to me? This new body, of course, I was still getting used to it all. I manage a mubbeled thank-you in return just as the two door slide open. Floor thirty-six, my long fingers slides from the jacket, pressing the small, round button. Black reflective flooring and metal walls surround me in a tall box, multiple wires pulling it all up with me in it, pulling me to the truth. Changing from L to 1, to 2, to 3, the red number blinks each floor my tall metal box passes.
-Seven years ago this same elevator took me home, this same elevator held more than myself, this same elevator was different. All the things that led me to return to this exsact elevator, this exsact city, this exsact place. All the things that led me to return to Elizabeth Carole, the same women I grew up with. Of course I look different now, visible and touchable. Elizabeth will have to belive me, she'll have to know the truth. She will see what acutally happened. All the lies Matthew tried to pin on me, all the secrets he hid from her, she will see that Matthew always had lied. She will see that Daneille holds all the lies, the secrets, and the past now. Yes, me, Daneille, I can tell her how she lied too. Elizabeth will learn the truth, from the day i met Matthew at the zoo when we were five, to the last day I saw him, three weeks ago. It's been seven years since I've seen her, but it's time she's seen the new Matthew, the new me, it's time she learned all the lies she beilived growing old.

The streets are filled with children, playing their games, awaiting the school bells of fall. Summer's humid air fills my breaths fills my breaths? would it be filled my breath? as I walk the cracked and splitted sidewalk.
-"Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posie, ashes...ashes...ashes...we all fall...down..."
-Ashes fall from my ciggerette cigarette that losley looselyhangs from my lips. Their singing singing? clouds my head, fogging the reason I came to the city in the first place. Hop-scotch boards smudge under neath underneath my scuffling feet. Between the bricked buildings, the sun falls low, diving deep into the ocean's waters.
-Streetlights flicker on right as I reach the building I've been searching for, the building that will recover the secrets in my head, the building that will reveal the truth to ones I've haunted, the building that will hopefully put it all at rest.
-The steps are worn from rain and footsteps, the rails are chipped and fadding, the doorman stands, waiting to pull the two gold doors open. Just as it was seven years ago, the lobbey lobby has the front desk to the left and the golden rimmed elevators ahead, the same elevators that will carry me the top floor. I step towards the doors ready to click the up arrow when a familar familiar voice steps steps into hearing? that phrase doesn't make sense. into hearing.
-"Ms. Carole just got in." Did this man really see me? Did he acutally actually talk to me? This new body, of course, I was still getting used to it all. I manage a mubbeled thank-you in return just as the two door slide open. Floor thirty-six, my long fingers slides from the jacket, pressing the small, round button. Black reflective flooring and metal walls surround me in a tall box, multiple wires pulling it all up with me in it, pulling me to the truth. Changing from L to 1, to 2, to 3, the red number blinks each floor my tall metal box passes.
-Seven years ago this same elevator took me home, this same elevator held more than myself, this same elevator was different. All the things that led me to return to this exsact exact elevator, this exsact exact city, this exsact exact place. All the things that led me to return return to? become? just to return Elizabeth doesn't make sense Elizabeth Carole, the same women I grew up with. Of course I look different now, visible and touchable. Elizabeth will have to belive believe me, she'll have to know the truth. She will see what acutally actually happened. All the lies Matthew tried to pin on me, all the secrets he hid from her, she will see that Matthew always had lied. She will see that Daneille holds all the lies, the secrets, and the past now. Yes, me, Daneille, I can tell her how she lied too. Elizabeth will learn the truth, from the day i I met Matthew at the zoo when we were five, to the last day I saw him, three weeks ago. It's been seven years since I've seen her, but it's time she's seen the new Matthew, the new me, it's time she learned all the lies she beilived growing old.

Hey!

Cool idea for a story!!

It was very well written! I enjoyed reading this piece!!

Some advice- really check your spelling. I noticed a lot of errors. The advice I included in red is the correct spelling and grammar of the misspelled words.

Also, some of this story doesn't make sen. What is the plot?

Anyways, good job!

*Taylor*

thank-you so much. I know I have a lot of spelling mistakes, I've never been a good speller oh well, when I have the time, I'll make sure to go back and fix them all. thanks again!

I love this idea and I love the story so far. Only thing your spelling needs alot of work. I've been told many times and now I'll tell you, when you post something on the top right above the text it says Check Spelling awith a little green check mark and a little ABC thngy. That can be your best friend. Other than that great job


~Jasmine Bells~
Peace, Love, Writing, Insanity and Chocolate