Tell me why

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I continued this:

* * * * * * * * *

“Found her yet?” One of the guys said.
Another guy who sounded like he was in the kitchen replied, “Nope. Maybe she’s not here.”
“She’s got be here.” The guy with the gun said.
I scanned around the room and although I knew what I saw, I still couldn’t believe it. My mom, my dad, my brother, they’re all dead.
I didn’t notice until now that I was crying. I let out a little whimper and the guy holding the guy heard. “There she is! She’s upstairs John. Get her!”
Then he started shooting. He began running up the stairs and at that instant I became invisible. When he reached the top of the stairs he said, “Come out little girl. I could catch you even if you’re hiding.”
I held my breath.
The other guy, John, who just came upstairs was panting, “Where is she?” he asked.
“Search for her. Go into every room.” The guy with the gun ordered..
I immediately ran to my parent’s room and went under their large desk. Even if I was invisible, I didn’t dare make a move. The door suddenly opened and in came John. I held my breath and watched him. He glanced around and went into the bathroom. I let out a little sigh. After he made sure I wasn’t in the bathroom he went outside the room.
“She’s not in here.” He said. “Found her yet?”

“No. We better get out of here before the cops arrive.” The other guy said.

“What about the girl?” John asked,

“She must’ve escaped through the window. We’ll just leave her for now.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

The two guys went downstairs and closed the front door. I didn’t risk getting out of my state of invisibility. I went to the top of the stairs and made sure they were gone. I ran down and checked the windows. It was too dark out so I couldn’t tell what kind of car they were driving. The car started and went off.
I stared outside for a minute then decided to face the tragedy.
I went over to where they were. I saw blood everywhere. My father had two gun shots to the chest and my mom had one that was directly at her heart. But that was nothing compared to what Bray had. He had one gun shot to his stomach and a stab to his chest. I noticed his leg was crooked and I was sure it was broken. It looked like someone just stepped on him. A mark of a shoe was on his leg. He must’ve fought them. I felt like fainting. My tears started trickling down my face. I wiped them but they just seem to go even faster. How could this have happened? Why did they kill my family? I don’t think we have any enemies. No enemies at all. I wept for a very long time and after ten minutes I heard the sirens. Someone must’ve heard the gun shots and called the police. I was too stunned to do anything. I heard the sirens stop and someone going out of the cars. I knew they were the police but I wanted to make sure.
“..wonder if there’s anyone who got killed.”
“the house seems so quiet…”

Yeah, they weren’t the bad guys. The door was slowly opened and in came two police officers holding guns.
“What happened here?” the police officer asked with disbelief.
I didn’t turn around but with a choked voice said, “My family is gone.”


An officer got my hand and pulled me up. “Come little lady. We’ve got an ambulance outside and you can stay there while we investigate. Are these your parents?” he asked pointing to mom and dad.
I was not in the mood to answer. “Yes. And that’s my brother over there.” I said while wiping my tears away.
“Okay, thank you. This is Officer Mike Brennan.” He pointed to the guy holding me. “And I’m Officer Pete Denver.”
I nodded.
“Officer Mike will take you to the ambulance outside.”
We started walking but my eyes were still fixed on my family. Eventually we got outside and I could see the whole neighborhood gathering around the house. I was taken to the ambulance and was given water and a blanket. I didn’t realize that I was shivering so hard.
A nurse came to me. She was petite and had a comforting smile. “Hello there. My name is Ashley. Are you okay?” she asked.
How could I be okay? “Yes.” I lied. It seemed like it was the proper answer.
“What’s your name honey?”
“Prim. Prim Toffler.”
She treated me and left me alone. After a little while, Officer Brennan and Denver approached me and asked questions.

The questions kept coming and soon the cops were gone. By the time the doctor took a look at me, it was already one in the morning. I later learned that it was Ms. Harpers who called the cops. She was our next door neighbor and probably the friendliest person I’ve ever met. She offered to let me stay at her house for the night and I was very grateful to her. She has a five year old son but he wasn’t home because he went to visit his dad in London. So I stayed in his room.
“Is this okay for you Prim?” Ms. Harpers asked.
“Yes it is. Thank you so much Ms. Harpers.” I said.
She made me eat snacks before I went to bed.


Though I was absolutely tired, I still couldn’t get myself to fall asleep. So many questions but no answers at all. Who were those killers? Who sent them? Who could possibly hate my family so much they would go to all the trouble of killing them? What would happen to me now? How would I live my life? Though it had been only hours ago, I already missed them terribly. My heart ached for their loss. Then the pain hit me. That night, I cried myself to sleep.

The smell of bacon is what woke me up. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I didn’t want to move at all. I wanted to feel numb. My eyes were puffy from all the crying and it took a lot of strength for me to take a bath and change. I looked at the mirror and noted that my face looks even paler than it normally looks. After brushing my hair, I decided to go down and have breakfast.

Ms. Harpers was setting up the table. I got plates and helped her with the glasses.
“Did you sleep well dear?” she asked.
“Yes.” I said groggily.
She nodded and took a seat on the other side of the table. I drank water and started eating the eggs.
“Your Aunt Lucy called. She said she’s coming here and would probably arrive later tonight.”
The thought that Aunt Lucy would be coming made me smile a little. She’s the best aunt that I ever have. She’s twenty three years old but acts like a fifteen year old. Mom would always talk about how naughty her sister was when they were little. For the first time in hours, I feel kind of happy. If I had to live with someone, it would be with Aunt Lucy.

After breakfast, I helped Ms. Harpers clean her house. By lunch time we headed over to Dolly’s grill and ate there. When we came back home, Officer Pete Denver called, saying that I could go back to the house, since there has been no evidence that would link the identities of the killers. Ms. Harpers came with me to the house and we found it already clean. I told her that I would be cleaning my room and she offered to cook me dinner over at her house. I thanked her and promised that I would go over to her house once I was done. She left and I went upstairs. The room was exactly how I left it – cluttered. I was still tired from all the happenings but I didn’t use my powers to clean up my room. I wanted to take my mind off the tragedy. I gather all my books and place them by height on the shelf, I got all my shoes and I folded my blanket. After an hour I heard the doorbell ring. Instantaneously I made myself turn invisible.
Great! I’m becoming paranoid.
I went to the window to check on the visitor.
I let out a sigh of relief and became visible. It was only my aunt Lucy. She finally arrived! I hurriedly opened the door and gave her a big hug.
She hugged me tight. “Oh honey! Are you okay? Were you hurt?” she searched my body for any signs of gun shots or wounds.
“I’m okay aunt Lucy.” I replied.
“I can’t believe this happened. Good thing they didn’t get to you.” She started crying now, which made my tears fall again.
She wiped them away and said, “Don’t worry Prim, I’m going to take care of you.”
I smiled. “Thanks Aunt Lucy. Let’s go over to Ms. Harpers’ house. She made us dinner.”

The next day, we went back to my house and Aunt Lucy helped me pack my things. She said she would take care of all the other belongings. I took Bray’s soccer ball with me, my dad’s favorite watch and my mom’s little chest. Aunt Lucy asked me if it was okay that she would bring me to her home in Maine and of course I agreed.


* * * * * * *

Hope that wasn't boring.

please please please review or comment if you liked it or hate it.

Thanks! :)




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Wow... That was defenetlly not boring! That was super exiting! :D More exiting then my story! And sad, it was very sad... :( That was awsome!!!!!!! Is the third chapter up? I'm gonna go check. PM me if it is please!!!!! :) Bye!!!!!!!


Keep up the awsomeness! :D
wookielover17

May the force be with you (was that wierd?) :lol:




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Thanks wookielover17 :)
That definitely made my day..
:)




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Hey there,

It took you so long to put this one up, I must say.
I agree with wookielover17, this was sad and exciting at the same time.
I didn't see so much errors in here except maybe that you should put a little more
emotion to the characters.

That's it though. Great writing. :)
-barney



Human minds are more full of mysteries than any written book and more changeable than the cloud shapes in the air.
— Louisa May Alcott