Medside Series - Detective Series

Hello all.
I have just joined this marvellous Website and thought I would post a few of my episodes from my series 'Medside Series'.

But first, I would like to explain what the series is. I have been writing 'Medside Series' for a while now, and it is a collection of stories about a police detective’s team set in London. The series is based on a man called Detective Inspector Jack Medside; he is the second boss of the unit. However we works with other detectives, including; DCI Dennis Lennox (the boss), DS / DI Mickey Bellingham, DS Rachel Moffett and DC Richard 'Rusky' Rusk. However two more people, Sergeant Sheila Nolan and Stand-in DI Anna Wilson occasionally appear.

Mickey and Rachel (the other main characters) work under Medside and do their best to solve crimes at all times, whilst including some general and personal conversation. However whenever their conversations take an inappropriate turn, Medside will put them back in line.

The series consists of NINE CURRENT STORIES / EPISODES however I have planned a further four which I will be creating all in due course. Also quite obviously, I was quite young when I first started writing Medside, and now I am fifteen and I am still writing it. So the quality of the writing will vary. However, I would advice people to read the latest ones as they consist better quality.

I will be posting episodes shortly.

Yours Sincerely,
Ben,
Novelist (Age 15)

Hello and welcome to YWS! I'm glad you think YWS is marvelous, because I think it's marvelous too. We have a 2:1 rule on here though. You need to do at least two reviews before you post one of your own stories. It keeps everything in check.

Usually, the only place you put attatchments is in the Advanced Critique section. To learn more about Advanced Critiques look here: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic19676.html

So, if your just posting one episode, you basically need to cut and paste your work into the text box and then people don't have to download the attatchment to review it.

Now, onto your story.

It reads a lot like a script would. Are you planning on making this a TV series or a story? There is also a lot of telling and not a lot of showing. And that makes this piece very bland to read. You need to show us a lot more emotion from the characters and make them less cardboardish. I like crime stories, and you seem to have a very good idea here. But, I think you should work on describing things, showing us, not telling us, and making your characters have larger than life personalities.

I hope this helped and PM me if you have questions.

Nariel