this is for Cal's character contest.
here's the link: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic33572.html
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#1 Word: 015: Vacant
Picture: 13
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She was sprawled across her new car, picking at his old straw hat. She had been so thankful he had forgotten it. I suppose he doesn’t need it in the city, she thought bitterly.
The hat started to unravel as she pulled at the straw with her dirty fingernails. The summer sun was filtered through the trees above her, the shade cooling her off. A faint breeze rustled her long chestnut hair.
“Hallie!” her father called out to her in that familiar southern drawl.
“Yeah, Daddy?” she shouted back towards the screen door she had just heard whine open.
“Parker is on the phone!” She heard the door protest as it closed again.
So what? she thought angrily. He left me. For what? College. City life. What a best friend he turned out to be. Even with these thoughts, she got off her car, her precious car that took her so much sweat and dirt to be able to afford, and ran to the house. She hated how eager she sounded as she picked up the phone and exclaimed, “Parker!”
“Hallie?” his voice sounded like a calm pond on a hot summer day after working in the fields. “It’s so good to hear from you!”
She grinned, glad no one was watching her. “Right back at ya.”
“How are things there? How’s Troy?”
She laughed. Troy was his favorite goat, well Parker was Troy’s favorite person. Every time he came over, Troy would try to escape to see him, and ram into him. But he would ram with love.
“No more escaping acts lately,” she giggled.
“Well that’s good. Wouldn’t want him getting in trouble without me,” he chuckled.
Hallie could imagine Parker rubbing the stubble on his chin like he always did when he tried to make a joke. She felt a pang of loss.
“What about you? How are you?” his voice got softer then.
“Fine,” she said, nonchalantly. She felt like she needed to be casual as a defense mechanism. “You know you left your hat here,” she said, changing the subject.
“Yeah…” he said slowly. “I know.”
“Well, do you want it back?” she barked. She was insulted. He left it on purpose? Was he trying to forget the farm? Was he trying to forget me?
“No. I left it for you. You didn’t find the paper?” he sounded concerned now. “Maybe it fell out,” he muttered.
“One sec," she said quickly into the phone before setting it down on the checkerboard tablecloth and running outside back to her car. Her bare feet were tough against the jagged ground.
She picked up the hat, breathless from running. She looked inside and all around the rim. There was a thick folded piece of yellow paper tucked inside the lining.
She didn’t open it there. She dropped the hat in the dusty driveway and ran back to the house. She picked up the phone and breathed, “Found it.”
“Oh, ok. Good,” she heard him say something to someone in the room with him. “I have to go. But read the note, please. And tell your dad and Troy I say hi.”
“Ok. Bye, Parker.”
“Bye, Hallie.”
She hung up the phone before turning her attention to the piece of paper in her hand. It was faded and wrinkled. Hallie flipped her hair over her shoulder before slowly unfolding it. A wad of cash fell out of the fold. There was a message in blue pen scribbled on it.
It said: Do you think that’s enough for gas all the way to New York?
Stunned, she fell into the chair at the table next to her. Once she felt like her knees were stable enough to stand up, she picked up the phone and redialed the number Parker had just called from.
Before he even had a chance to say hello, she demanded, “You idiot! Why didn’t you tell me before you left?!”
He laughed, delighted by her reaction.
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) so that the reader can relate to what Hallie is feeling because they'll know just what he meant to her. Also, it'll give a feeling of longing for the reader to meet Parker more and really care about him. Maybe try making a scene of when he leaves or a memory (in italics) that she's daydreaming about, or maybe even a dream.
