My Little Superman

Dedicated to my wonderful little cousin who puts the smile on my face. You know I love you, buddy

He is very active as any little boy can be. He has cute, little chubby cheeks that I love to kiss and pinch though he gets annoyed every time I do so. He has scruffy dark brown hair that I love to mess up and big dark brown eyes that light up every time he's happy.

He likes Cars, no not cars, cars. Cars as in the movie. He collects every character that is included in the movie. He likes basketball even though his hands are too little to even dribble a ball. I got him a mini-Lakers basketball set for Christmas so he wouldn't have a hard time playing a ball bigger than his face.

He likes chocolates, but his mom doesn't like him eating too much of them or he will be too hyper and sleep very late at night. I sometimes sneak to give him M&M's; His favorite.

He has this small pillow that has been with him since he was a baby. He can't sleep without it. He hugs and sniffs it before he goes to bed or before taking his nap. He would have this cute, little angry pout in his face whenever I try to snatch his pillow from him.

But I might not be able to see him anymore. His family might be migrating to another country. Sure, I'll see him but only once in a while. Not like now, I get to see him every day. I will surely miss him if he leaves. I hope he will miss me too. I wish I could come with them but I can't. It will be very tough for me, since he grew up in my house. I just couldn't imagine how quiet the house will be without him. But there's one thing I know, even though he will be thousands of miles away, he will always be in my heart. I'm sure I'll be in his too.

~~~

Goodbye, buddy. Goodbye my little Superman. You know I love you.

Hi, Casey!

Nitpicks first...

He has scruffy dark brown hair that I love to mess up and big dark brown eyes that lit up every time he's happy.

Should be "light"

He likes Cars, no not cars, cars. Cars as in the movie. He collects every character that is included in the movie.

Sentence #1>>The bold one should be uppercase, no? Sentences #2&3>>I don't like the fact that both of these sentences end with "the movie."

I sometimes sneak to give him M&M's. His favorite

There should be a period at the end there. Also, this is a matter of opinion, but I think the period after "M&M's" should be a semicolon or dash.

I will surely miss him if he leaves. I hope he will too.

This kind of sounds like you're saying that you hope he will leave. I think you mean to say "I hope he will miss me, too."

I wish I can come with them but I can't.

*could.
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A lot of this piece is telling rather than showing. You tell us all about him, you tell us that you will miss him. Try showing us a little more; show us how his mouth curls up and his eyes slit when you get his pillow, show us that your house will be empty and silent without him, like a mouth missing a tooth. Ya?

Another thing I noticed is that almost all of your sentences start with either "he" or "I." You might want to do something about that, as the repetitive nature of it can get tiresome.

Overall, though, it was really sweet. I can see a lot of emotion and sincerity... and OMG! He's so cute. I hope all goes well with you two!

PM me if I was unclear about anything or you have comments/questions about my review, or if you would like more help!

~Azila~

Dang, they're leaving? This is just too sad. Ignore the fact that i rarely talk to him....no, more like i rarely get to talk to him nor cuddle him up in my clumsy arms...i would miss that big bad baby.


Don't mope around though cuz..you still got us.