Young Writers Society

Verse 1: I'm standing here right in my place, I sit right down and then I see your face
your face
I start to smile but then I cry, 'cause just like that you'd said goodbye to me
to me

Verse 2: I sit right up I'm blurry eyed but you're not there to make me feel alright
anymore
I scream your name but you don't come, our last fate has already been done
been done

Chorus: Low lit room and I'm on my knees, I cry for you, you don't hear my pleas, I can't believe you're not there for me anymore
I'd held my heart out for you to grasp, you turned away and then it snapped, it's been strung out and it beats no more...
doesn't beat anymore

*instrumental*

Verse 3: I wiped my tears and ran away, then started to write on this blank page...
blank page
remember all the times we had, when you and I just sat and laughed...
sat and laughed

Chorus: Low lit room and I'm on my knees, I cry for you, you don't hear my pleas, I can't believe you're not there for me anymore
I'd held my heart out for you to grasp, you turned away and then it snapped, it's been strung out and it beats no more...
doesn't beat anymore

Verse 4: I close my eyes and go to bed, thoughts of you swirling in my head...
in my head
once again a sleepless night, something that I just don't fight anymore...
anymore

*chorus 2x*

Verse 5: I'm standing here right in my place, I close my eyes and now I see your face...

Hi, First let me welcome you to YWS!

Your song seems a little rough around the edges but all and all I liked it! It reminded me of a sad love story. It something I would most definitely like to hear aloud.

I would love to know what speed of a beat you were thinking about to go with this?

Well written, keep it up,
~FW~

Feel free to PM me anytime.

Hello! And welcome to Young Writers Society!

This was a great song, I would really LOVE to hear it out loud! But it is quite rough! Keep up the good work!

KJR

Hey!!!
I liked this a lot! You must have done a good job of balancing the mood in this song, because even though the subject matter was sad, it didn't bring me down or anything. You did a good job with the rhyming (it didn't seem too forced) and overall, I loved it. I wish I could hear this as a song instead of just reading the lyrics!

Thanks everyone!! I agree that it was a bit choppy, but I'll keep working on it this was a rough draft as I wrote it a few months ago at like midnight thanks again!