Young Writers Society

Every day feels the same, like I’m playing games with a place I’m suppose to call home. Lost and in search for a world a never knew.

Cause it feels like I’m slowly diein' and I can't seem to stop cryin'. Staring at the rain, breaking with pain, want to be somewhere I belong.

Cause I've so much to give, and it's so easy for me to love. I want you to see, it's better to be me, then a fake phase of reality.

The world seems so full of hate, leaving the love smuggled away. And I’m so tired of hiding, so sick of lying. I'm gonna breaking, and I’m gonna do me.

Cause it feels like I’m slowly diein', and I can't seem to stop cryin'. Staring at the rain, breaking with pain, want to be somewhere I belong.

Cause I’ve got so much to give, and it's so easy for me to love. I need you to see, it's better to be me, then a fake phase of reality.

Maybe you'll never understand, maybe you'll never see the real me, but I can't stay on this road anymore. It's time to say good bye to your me.

Because i feel like I’m slowly diein' and I cant stand this cryin'. I'm staring at the rain, breaking with pain, soon to be somewhere I belong.

Because i know I’ve got so much I can give, and it's so easy for me to love. If you could only see, it's better to be me, then a fake phase of reality. A fake phase of reality.








Ok so this the first song I have ever made before so if you guys have any ideas let me know. Thanks =)

I'll do edits first, then tell you what I think, okay?

Notes: Edits will be in CAPITALS. That does not mean they should remain that way, it's just to grab your attention. And be sure to take this with a grain of salt. I love music and the English language, but I'm not a song-writer on average.

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Every day feels the same, like I’m playing games with a place I’m supposeD to call home. Lost and in search for a world I never knew.

'Cause it feels like I’m slowly dYin' and I can't seem to stop cryin'. Staring at the rain, breaking with pain--wanting to be somewhere I belong.

'Cause I've so much to give, and it's so easy for me to love. I want you to see THAT it's better to be me thAn a fake phase of reality.

The world seems so full of hate, leaving the love smuggled* away. And I’m so tired of hiding, so sick of lying. I'm gonna be breaking, and I’m gonna do** me.

Cause it feels like I’m slowly dYin', and I can't seem to stop cryin'. Staring at the rain, breaking with pain, want to be somewhere I belong.

Cause I’ve got so much to give, and it's so easy for me to love. I need you to see, it's better to be me, then a fake phase of reality.

Maybe you'll never understand, maybe you'll never see the real me, but I can't stay on this road anymore. It's time to say goodbye to you'rE me.

Because I feel like I’m slowly dYin' and I cant stand this cryin'. I'm staring at the rain, breaking with pain, soon to be somewhere I belong.

Because I know I’ve got so much I can give, and it's so easy for me to love. If you could only see THAT it's better to be me thAn a fake phase of reality. (A fake phase of reality.)

*Smudged, perhaps? That would paint an interesting picture...
**Be, perhaps? 'Do me' just sounds...wrong. *coughs*

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Yeah. I'm not sure if you should split up the choruses or such, but...yes. I like it so far and it seems interesting. I'm not sure what sort of song this would be--pop?--but I'd probably like to listen to it. As long as there were good instruments. (I'm a music snob, of a sort--alternative and rock all the way.) Um. Yes.

On another topic, do you listen to Death Cab for Cutie? The National? R.E.M.? The Whitest Boy Alive? If not, I suggest listening to them. They're very off-kilter and they might help you open up your mind to broader ways of displaying what you wish to say. The song is good--your song--but it feels like its missing something to hold it apart, make it stand out amongst songs about "you don't know me" (heck, Ben Folds HAS a song titled "You Don't Know Me").
Just a suggestion.

So, yeah. I think that's about it. I hope I helped and if I offended you in some way, I'm horribly sorry. Just keep writing. I can't write songs (often), so if you feel like you have the music in your veins--run with it!

Otherwise...I hope to see more songs from you.

*tips hat* Adios and good luck.

-Casper

I could imagine a tune in my head and it sounded good... I'd like to listen to it...