singularity clarity

how could i let this fall into spring
you were my summer fling
in the middle of winter

i looked to the west
and found that was where my compass pointed
and tried my best to act belated

some time ago i said this will never do
but this is something i can believe in

if only this was what you wanted to hear
i could never be your hero when you aren't here
i am who you thought i was
not who i am to you now

i took the biggest bow
this was my biggest show
you were my only fan and i never played you a song

if only you were going to hear what you wanted from me

awesome! Post more.


Kayla

Great! Its awesome. You should post more!
You've hooked me into it!
Sonnyxx1
Its great!

I quite liked the general idea of the song and, although its length worried me at first, on re-reading the lyrics I actually think the sparseness of your descriptions works quite well. However, if this is meant to be a song I can't help feeling it needs a chorus or at least some line to return to (unless you planned it that way and were going to have a repeated musical riff or whatever in it instead?); but besides that slight concern about a chorus I did think it was an enjoyable piece so well done

a lot of my songs don't have a chorus because they're usually about two minutes long. i'm only posting my solo acoustic work, mind you

Hello, I am AspiringAuthorA..M. and will be your reviewer for tonight.

But, first, I have one quick question. Are lyrics supposed to be in all lower case letters? If not, then I suggest you capitalize the I's

i took the biggest bow

this was my biggest show

you were my only fan and i never played you a song



if only you were going to hear what you wanted from me

Such a great line.

But, I'm sorry to say your ending line confused me. I had to read it multiple times and I still didn't understand it. Not a good thing. Some rewording would work wonders for the over all feel of your piece.

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