Young Writers Society

You wave I smile shyly
Hoping you won't talk to me
Passing you in the hallway
I try to meet your eyes
But your smile overwhelms me
And I laugh as we walk by

Innocent love, how quickly it ends
Untainted, uncorrupt,
This is innocent love

I see you hanging with your friends
Wishing I could hold your hand
Walking through a forest,
Then we'll have a picnic

Innocent love, how quickly it ends
Innocent love, how beautiful it is
Innocent love, Innocent love
Is there any left
Innocent love

Hey everyone please feel free to critique and comment. Thanks!

#Queen of the Pirates#

WOW!

I really like the flow of it, and the readability! Straightforward and pretty, well communicated! I can only imagine what the tune sounds like, I'm sure it's great!

Well done, and keep up the good work!

Goldie

Love it, love it love it! Only one thing -

Untainted, uncorrupt

should it be uncorrupted?
Just a suggestion. Anyway keep it up, you're doing good.
Bkwrm

Yeah I think bkwrm's right. Uncorrupt is not a word.

Well, the thing about walking through the forest and having a picnic was really random, but I liked the rest of it. Good job!

actually uncorrupt is a word, but untaint isn't. That's why i had to put untainted.

#Queen of the Pirates#

I loved this! Good description and I certainly liked it a lot!

Good Job!