I didn't think anyone had ever been in that situation before so I couldn't know how to process everything. I focused on pushing air in and out of my lungs, when my vision started fading out. It was a lot to take, and even though I thought I was handling it well, I didn't want Damien to think I was weak. It was obvious he was the second warrior and wore the centuries in his eyes. I didn't want to disappoint him. I looked down at the letter that Grandfather had wrote all of those years ago. It was still hard to believe that he was gone, but then I had a realization I should have before. Even I could hear the hope laced in my voice when I said excitedly, “Grandfather was Julius! Is Julius I mean. That means he will be back!”
Again Damien's voice was guarded when he spoke, and the hope was drained from my body. “Yes, Jacob in this life, Julius before. He should be reborn again in the cycle.” He sounded unsure.
“What aren't you telling me?” I sensed bad things coming. He hesitated.
“ Every life is the same. Julius is born, I find him, you are born. You live a mundane life until your eighteenth birthday. Then he Awakens you by telling you the story of your past. Your memories come back and you fight the Devorantem .”
“I'm only sixteen,” The bad feeling grew.
“The Devorantem never know who you are until you begin to kill them. Until then if any happen to cross your path we would stop them, but they never come after you. They might pass nearby, but only by coincidence, never have they known who you are.” He took a breath. “A month ago they did. One broke into the house and found you. You slept through all of it. He almost killed you too, but Julius came into the room. With the power of a god it takes more to drain you than anyone else, but your Grandfather injured it enough so that he couldn't. It was strong enough to kill Julius though.” He lowered his head and stopped speaking. My eyes were stinging from the repressed tears. It was obvious Damien cared for him too, maybe as much as me, but he didn't cry. I didn't think he had cried in a very very long time. His next words where pushed through his teeth and he sounded more mad than sad. “I carried his body to his bed, and left him there. I wanted to follow the beast to rip him into pieces, but I had to watch you. I stayed in your room all night. I waited for you to wake up. When you did I had to listen from outside while you rummaged around the house. You took a bath and brushed your teeth. You ate breakfast and then went to look for him. I knew when you opened his door and the exact moment you realized he was dead. I didn't want you to see him, to be the one to find him, but there was no other way. You'll never know the anguish it caused me to hear you cry. Then you where attacked again last night and I almost wasn't fast enough to save you. I almost lost you again.”
I was speechless. I couldn't even cry. I remembered all of it perfectly. Calling Grandfather's name, and when he didn't answer finally noticing how pale he was. Dead white. I cried for over thirty minutes holding his hand before I called the police. Even after the smell of death became unbearable I didn't leave his side. When the police got there they basically ripped me from him. They questioned me and all I could do was cry. I eventually gave a statement and they ruled his death a stroke so I was let go. I never told anyone that, and never wanted too. I didn't want anyone to know just how far I had broke down, but Damien had been there the whole time and knew everything. He probably knew more about me than anyone did. He had watched me my whole life and I never knew it. I never expected any of this.
“He died for me. And I just slept through it,” I didn't feel anything. I was numb. Damien almost seemed shocked. Like he was surprised that I thought it was ridiculous for anyone to die for me, especially Grandfather.
“He has many times over and will do so many more. The only reason he lives again is to die for you.” I didn't like it one bit but knew that if I focused on it I might cry again.
Instead I asked, “And what about you?”
Damien didn't hesitate and his gaze didn't wander, “I can never die for you, but each time you
are born I watch you grow into the Empress I knew all those years before. Still we will never be what
we were before, never have what we had,” He moved one hand so gently down my hair I almost didn't feel it. When he reached the bottom he took my hair in his fist tightly, then let it go, “And so every time I see you, I see what we lost. And every time I look into your eyes it kills me inside.” He turned and walked out of the door, leaving me flustered and confused. I watched his back without saying a word and I felt what he described. Watching him leave, I longed for something I knew I would never have again. And I didn't even know what it was.
An hour later I climbed down the staircase slowly, but determined. After Damien had left I had gone to Grandfather's room. I sat in his bay window and thought about everything. Half of the time I debated if it was possible to sneak out without Damien knowing. I was going to run away to another state and get lost in a small town, never to be found again. I couldn't save the world, and I couldn't be part of a war between two gods! I mean they are gods for crying out loud I couldn't be of any importance. Then I decided that I couldn't run from what was happening. Grandfather had trusted me with this. He believed in me. He had done so much for me and I couldn't just betray his trust.
So I went to my room and showered. It was like washing away all of the bad stuff, all of the fear. So when I got dressed I went downstairs to find Damien, knowing he would be there. I didn't know what came next but I felt as if I could handle it. I was ready to do what Grandfather had entrusted me to do.
When I finally found him he was in the living room again, his back turned to me. He had a fire going in the fireplace and was staring into the depths of the flames but I knew he was seeing something else entirely. I was about to clear my throat as to announce my presence but he turned around, not at all surprised I was there. He tried to catch my eye but I avoided his gave, not yet ready for the feeling it gave me again. Instead I asked him, “Last night, at the cemetery, was what happened...was it a...” I stumbled over the name.
“A Devorantem Animarum. Yes. Just call them leeches. You usually do. Not the same one that attacked you before though, it would not have yet healed enough to attack you again.” I let it sink in. I had known but needed to ask, I needed some assurance. Twice I had been attacked by a monster that belonged in nightmares. I felt so helpless and weak, and I didn't like it all. It sent hate coursing into every part of my body. I knew I had to learn how to protect myself, to protect others, people like my grandfather.
My voice was thick with determination when I asked, “How did I survive last night? I had no idea what was happening.”
“When I was given my immortality I was able to connect mentally with Julius and you. It's how I find him each time he is born, which leads me to both of you. He was given no abilities other than his advanced fighting skills, which protected you until you could do it yourself. You do not know how to harness your power and so last night you almost died. But I went into your mind and accessed it for you. I held him off through your mind. Your not used to the amount of energy it took and the only way for your body to cope was to rest, do you passed out.” He spoke slowly, as if not really knowing how to explain it. It was hard to understand but I grasped the basic concept.
“And you killed it like that?” I sat down in a chair and wrapped my arms around my knees.
“No, I was able to scare it off. I accessed a small amount of your power, but only you can kill one completely. But even the small shift in how much energy your mind used was enough to knock you out. You will not be able to kill anything until you strengthen your mind, train it to accept the amount of energy used.” I almost felt violated. The idea of someone else being in my mind was not comforting, he could have seen anything, secrets that I wished to keep buried. I held onto the hope that he was to busy with keeping me alive to dig around in my thoughts though.
“How do I train my mind?” I was confused, and a little scared, not knowing what to expect.
He seemed more comfortable explaining this. I saw mischief in his smile, which made me nervous. “We will get to that later. First we have to teach the most basic self defense. We have to teach you how to fight.” I sighed in relief. That would be easy enough, I was used to the strain on my body, the exertion of energy. I was a formidable enemy, top of my karate class, even besting the instructor. I smiled eagerly, ready to prove myself to Damien.
“When do we start?” I asked, rolling on my heels ready for the action. He chuckled.
“Now if you'd like, but don't get to excited. This is going to be far ahead of your training.” that gave me a moments pause, but I recovered quickly. It couldn't be that bad. I was a good fighter and a quick learner. And if I understood the story right, I was a kick-ass, half god, empress. I could handle it. I nodded a go ahead.
He lead me into the basement. I'd only been down there a handful of times. There was nothing interesting here. Some old furniture, a couple of boxes scattered around the floor. There wasn't really any room for anything. The space was small, and oddly shaped. With each step you took in the room, it was like the carpeted floor went down, leading you into the bowls of the earth. Of course it looked completely normal. We stopped at the far wall. I didn't say anything, already learning that Damien would answer all of my questions without me asking them. Like he knew me better than I knew myself.
Of course he did. After centuries together, fighting murderous creatures you might get to know them a bit. The problem was, I didn't know anything about him, all of my memories being locked in my mind with each cycle.
He ran his fingers along the edge of the carpet until he found what he was looking for. He pulled the carpet back and it came with ease, as if being moved often. There under the carpet was a hidden door, that led into the ground. He pulled it open. At first it was just a dark whole in the floor but as he stepped down onto a ladder lights came on. The ladder went on for about thirty feet and dropped into a room. I couldn't see anything in it though. He was about half way down when he looked back up and saw me standing there, motionless.
“It's safe,” I believed him, but the thought of descending into the ground to end up god knows where was not appealing in the least. Still I just grimaced, and stepped down. I climbed in the dark until my feet finally touched solid ground. Damien was moving around and making noise but no matter how long I waited, my eyes would not adjust to the dark and I was blind and defenseless. Finally a row of lights came on one by one and reveled where I was.
I expected some dark tunnels or sewer system but I was pleasantly surprised. The room had stone walls and the tile floor was clean. It was about the size of half the house which was big and I could see a door at the end of the room. In the middle of the room was a big blue mat that was very familiar. It was used in my karate classes so no one got hurt when they were thrown on the ground. Around that was a bunch of physical equipment half of which I had no clue what was used for.
Damien spoke from right behind me and made me jump, “This is were you will train. You have to keep up your physical endurance up. It will be much more intense than the classes you've already took. That was a sort of prep for your real training. Are you ready for that?”
The thought of facing one of the leeches scared me big time. Last night I was completely prey and I hadn't even seen it. I wasn't ready for that. I knew I would have nightmares for a long time. Everything about this was just wrong but then I thought about Grandfather. It strengthened my resolve. “I have to be,” I said not at all sounding as confident as I wanted it to be.
His eyes softened and the detached tone in his voice left when Damien spoke. “They wont get to you. I will protect you.” He put his hand on my sleeve and even though it wasn't like earlier I still felt a jolt, but this time of sadness. I moved from his touch not yet ready to accept how drawn I was to him. I mean I wasn't stupid. It was obvious something had happened between us and I still felt it but I had no idea what it was. He knew me throughout centuries and he never forgot. And even though I trusted him I knew nothing about him.
“When do I start?” I walked over to a machine feigning interest so I wouldn't have to look at him.
“First thing tomorrow. We don't have time to waste now that they know who you are, but last night you almost died. Today you need to rest. Speaking of...” He trailed off as it he were distracted by something. When I turned around he was heading for the door at the back. I followed. He opened the door and inside was a small room with a gigantic bed a fireplace and a good amount of books along one wall. I understood what it was immediately but felt kind or rude not thinking about it earlier.
“This is where you stay right? This is your room?” I walked in and it felt empty and impersonal. Other than the books there was no personality, no evidence of who exactly this man in black was.
“Yes. Julius and I picked this house right before you were born and added both the training room and this right after he bought it. I've been living under you for as long as you've been living here.” It was crazy but I accepted that my life would be pretty much crazy from now on. “Last night took a great toll on your mind. Even though your immortality is working at this moment to heal it the best thing for you is sleep. Let your mind heal itself.” He led me to the bed and I sat down. “I have some things to do and I will wake you when I get back. For the time sleep.” A rush of fatigue washed over me from no where. He pushed my shoulders back onto the bed and I was awake just long enough to see the lights go out. No matter how hard I fought it I eventually fell into the dark oblivion of sleep.
I knew I was dreaming but it still felt so real.
My toes sank into the sand and I felt the water lapped at my feet gently. The sun was warm on my back unlike the harsh weather in Minnesota. There were even playful yells from children as they played. It was obvious I was on a beach but when I tried to focus on any one thing it all went blurry, and I felt the dream slipping away. Quickly I held onto it, for some reason feeling as if I needed the peaceful vision. So I just went along with it. I closed my eyes and waded in the water of the ocean I'd never seen. The cool water was seductive and I just wanted to be pulled under and stay forever. Just as I moved to go deeper came a voice as smooth and entrancing as the water, “Lissi, don't.” I turned back to where I knew the shore was, but I stayed where I was. “The Shore of Oblivion is not yet ready for you. Come child. Come to me.” I went, and the closer I went I could make out a fuzzy gray outline of a person. Still I couldn't make out any features. The childlike trance I had been in snapped like it had been cut and once again I thought rationally.
“Where am I?” It seemed almost impossible to be frightened or worried here. Everything was perfect, but I knew I should be scared. I knew this was not normal, and yet I could not resist the tranquility.
The voice seemed to come from all around me, “The balance is gone. The rules were broken. Now is more dangerous than any other time. This will be the last. I will help you when I can, but the outcome is up to you. Sacrifice is the only way.”
Somewhere deep inside I knew the words were important, but I had no idea why. “Who are you?” As soon as I asked I could feel the world slipping away from me. I became frantic, never wanting to leave.
Somewhere between the dream world and reality I understood what the man had said. It was liked looking at the world from above and I knew exactly what rules had been broken, what sacrifice would be made, and I came to accept it. There was something about knowing the end that filled me with peace.
But as soon as I became aware of the real world, everything disappeared. I couldn’t remember what the dream had been about, only that it was strange. I didn't know why it felt so important. Then again, it was only a dream. The wild imagination of a half-god. I shrugged it off and forgot about it.
The light was still off and I seemed to be alone, so I guessed that Damien was not back yet from whatever he was doing. I threw the covers off and felt along the wall for the light switch. When I found it the sudden light made me cover my eyes for a moment before they adjusted. For a moment I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but then I walked over to Damien's bookshelf. It was small with only about fifty books. When I pulled one out I realized it wasn't a book but a journal. That made me pause. Did I really want to stoop down to that level? No, not really, but I did want to know more about him. Anything would do. Heck, his favorite color would be a insight into his mind. When I opened it up I didn't understand what I saw. Instead of his darkest secrets there were names, rows and rows of names with dates beside them.
It gave me a creepy feeling and I quickly closed it and left the room. I walked over to the ladder, thankful the light was still on. I climbed up planning on taking another bath even though I know I had taken one only hours ago. When I reached the top the door was locked and I couldn't get out. I sighed in frustration, muttering curses under my breathe. Once I got down again I put my hands in my pockets and looked around. I wanted to test something. I was supposed to be this bad ass immortal empress right? I smiled.
I tensed for the jump. When I sprung I flew through the air imagining landing on the other side of the room and kicking some monster in the face. Instead I fell on my butt about two feet from where I started and it hurt. Yep, that was going to leave a bruise. When I got up I rubbed the back of my leg and laughter exploded behind me. I turned around so fast that it just hurt my leg even more.
Damien was standing there watching me with amusement. “Did you really think you could do that?” he asked barley holding back more laughter.
“I am immortal aren't I?” I grumbled, limping over to a bench. He was there right beside me, all laughter gone. Dang he was fast. He inspected my leg carefully, gently probing with his fingers. I winced. He placed my leg back down and sat beside me.
“Nothings broken, you are just going to be sore for a couple of days,” he said like a relieved mother.
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically, still mad he had laughed at me.
“Look at me Lissiana. You are not immortal. Only half. You are breakable, not as fragile as humans but still breakable. Don't overestimate yourself. If you had broken something we could have been in trouble. You are so valuable. You can't do anything to put yourself in danger.” That sobered me. I couldn't be mad him anymore. And I guess it would be pretty funny from his point of view.
I sighed and asked, “So where did you go?” That lightened the mood and he actually smiled. I couldn't help but smile back. He got a box from a table in the corner of the room. When he brought it close my mouth watered, and I smiled so big that my face hurt. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I hadn't eat since yesterday morning, and he had pizza. I could have kissed him in that moment. When he opened it I almost did kiss him.
“Meat lover's pizza. Your favorite. I figured you might be hungry,” he was still smiling and it was contagious. The moment was almost normal and I loved it. He closed it and said, “But lets eat upstairs.” We headed to the ladder and I remembered earlier.
“Why was the door locked. I couldn't get out earlier.” I asked.
He looked over his shoulder at me and smiled. “For that reason exactly. I couldn't have you escaping without protection. They know where you live remember?” I was grateful that he wasn't acting all intense anymore, but he seemed to be a little to nonchalant. It made me suspicious but I didn't say anything.
We sat down in the living room in front of the fire because of the unforgiving cold. “So what do you do in between? Like before Grandfa- I mean Julius and I are born?”
I guess he thought the question was odd because he looked at me for a moment like he didn't really understand before he answered, “Well Julius always dies first and then after you there isn't much time before it starts again. Usually about a couple of years at the most, sometimes sooner. In between I don't really do anything. I just..exist I guess.”
“That sounds boring.”
“I guess it would seem that way.” His voice was withdrawn and I could see he was not really paying attention anymore. We ate in silence for a couple of minutes. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and asked the first thing that came to mind.
“Do you ever regret all of this? Do you wish I had chose someone else?” The question was personal but I had no problems asking it. Maybe he resented me for sentencing him to this life that not really a life to him but just an existence. He didn't seem surprised by this question like the last. Instead he laughed humorlessly and stared into the fire. I watched his face carefully, looking for any sign of hate. Instead there only seemed to be weariness.
He spoke slowly, “You know you ask me that every time,” This startled me but he went on, “and every time I can't understand why you ask. Of course you don't remember though. When Jupiter told you to chose two warriors you chose Julius and I. But when he said that one would live forever you knew what it would be like. You knew that one of us would lose the love of life. That an endless existence, would be just that. An existence. So you told Jupiter that you would do it alone. That you would not subject anyone to that. Of course Julius intervened and insisted that you must have someone. While the two of you fought I went to Jupiter. I offered myself as that warrior and he granted me my wish. Then there was nothing you could do, you could object no longer.” I was frozen in horror and shock. He had offered his soul basically, for me. “So when you ask if I regret what I did then I can answer truthfully that of all the things I've ever done, that is the one that I will never regret.”
He didn't look at me even though I was staring at him, in awe of what he did. I was tempted to ask why but I didn't. He must have known what I would say though because he answered anyways, “It is on your shoulders to protect the world from what happened in Rome. Even though someone must protect you.” Finally he looked at me and I could see that warrior in his eyes. I knew that he would do it again, and I knew that he would protect me. I felt completely safe with him. I knew that I could trust him.
And for just a second I could see myself through his eyes. An empress willing to give her life so that she could save people who would never know her. In that moment I felt that person inside me. I knew I could do what was laid before me. With Damien's help I would train and I would once again rise above my enemies. Something passed between us in that look that had never happened before. I knew him, and he knew me, without knowing anything at all. It was a wordless understanding that gave me a peacefulness about the whole situation.
We finished the pizza without anymore questions but in comfortable silence. Like the calm before the storm.
It was as good as the other ones, well done. I'm going to point out the things that I specifcally liked.
It was really funny though! (You missed out a capital letter for the bold)
XD (Apostrohe)
