I feel like you stuffed too many character descriptions in here. I had a hard time remembering who was who, and it got a little bit confusing. For me, it's too much introducing all of 'The Prettys' all at once in one section/prologue, since you also give a lot of details about each girl. It would be much easier if you could just introduce them one by one, or just tell less about each of them. You'll have time to characterize them later!
Overall, this was a fun read. This piece is a bit rough in some places, though. You can add a few more commas in several of your sentences, and break other down a bit; I couldn't find any major problems. And, I think you did well with third person!
Hope I helped. I'm looking forward to reading the first chapter-
Hey, great story! It was really entertaining and interesting. I agree with Kae and think that you did pretty well for third-person. But I'll be honest here and admit the overall plot IS a little cliché. But anyway, I still thought it was pretty good. I'm really looking forward to reading more of your works later on.
So I edited it a bit, as I'm learning some more grammar rules, no no, this isn't really cliche at all, at least not to me seeing how I know what's going to happen. Just wait and see I suppose : )
