Still Doll Prologue - We Are Artwork

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Prologue

We Are Artwork...


When I was a kid, I used to think of my life as a portrait or a ballad. If it were a portrait, you’d see a variety of things such as love, hate, anger and depression. You would see thousands of colours probably never discovered before. It would look appealing to your eye.
If it were a ballad, you would probably tear up and cry. You would probably jump for joy or be filled with so much happiness that you would greet everyone you saw.
But my life isn’t a perfect picture or a beautiful ballad. No one’s is. I learned that when I turned seventeen.

I never believed in any of that paranormal junk. I never believed in the bogeyman or Santa Claus, I never believed in ghosts or vampires or fallen angels. Much less did I believe in werewolves or banshees. I thought of that as trash people fill your minds with.
My father used to tell me of a doll. He never told me the name. He said that the doll would come to life and kill all your loved ones. He usually told me this so that I would eat my broccoli, but it never worked. Because I never believed him.
And I was wrong.

This is my story of how I lived through the most terrifying year of my life. If you are too fearful, I would advise you to seal this book. If you are up for the challenge, you may turn the page if you wish. My story is capable of scarring your life forever.
This is not my choice. It’s yours. My story may torture your thoughts at day and will not leave your dreams at night.
For this, I am terribly sorry.
Last edited by Kirahh on Mon Jun 13, 2011 8:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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Can't to read what happens next!
"You may not be educated well in the areas of etiquette and the like as a princess, but you do throw some bashing good parties!"
Not all princesses are pink sparkles.
Exhibit A




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pretty good, but a bit cliche. (Sorry, I'm not trying to be a jerk.) One thing you need to think about is making all the "paranormal junk" different from the usual, boring stories we've gotten used to by now, having read many hundreds of them :) this is just a suggestion, but maybe you could start with telling something that happens later. it seems really interesting to me though, I can't wait to read more! just make sure it doesn't fall into the familiar pattern these stories often seem to. I tend to do that when I'm writing, i think the more you read these stories, the more you do. It's okay to have similarities to other stories, just make sure you have enough contrast to balance it all out.
A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes. I screamed aloud as it tore through them and now it's left me blind.
Florence and the Machine, Cosmic Love




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'Ello, fictionfanatic here. Not time for a review right now because I must pack, but I shall review in a day or two! Just wanted to say love it, PM me when you post more!
Live, Love, Laugh




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But my life isn’t a perfect picture or a beautiful ballad. No one’s is. I learned that when I turned seventeen.

The 'No one's is.' should be 'No ones is.' No apostrophe. :)

Overall, it's okay for a prologue. It seems a bit Lemony Snicket-like in the whole 'don't read this' sort of way, which is okay, but you have to be careful or the reader actually won't read it due to the repetitiveness. As another reviewer said, be careful not to fall into cliche territory...it seems as though your plot line could get into the 'haunted doll' premise that quite a few horror novels use.
As I committed my crimes in a darkened room
A bird flew by, and saw what I'd done, it set up a nest outside.
And he sang about what I'd become...sang so loud, sang so clear.
I was afraid all the neighbors would hear.



GET YER EYES AWAY FROM MY EYE SOCKETS >.>
— herbalhour