his green eyes stared at me hardYou forgot the a, easily done.
All of the sudden, I broke down in sobs - It was positive.
With shakey hands, I put my key in the lock and twisted it.
fictionfanatic wrote:Prologue:
My hands shook as I put the key in the lock. When I twisted I heard a very soft click. It was one in the morning, three hours past my curfew. I'd fallen asleep at my boyfriend Jordan's house while we were studying. I was scared to death, knowing what would happen when my dad saw me.
When I entered my house, it was completely dark. Maybe he went to bed early and hasn't noticed I didn't come home. I silently closed the door and locked it. When I turned around I felt a large hand strike my face and send my backwards, hitting my head on the door as I fell to the ground.
Dad was holding a nearly empty beer bottle, which I knew was not his first, his green eyes stared at me hard as he slurred "Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea what time it is?" I knew better then to respond. I just slowly stood up, clutching the back of my head which felt wet. I had to refrain myself from crying.
He threw the glass bottle to the ground, I flinched when it shattered. "Answer me you little slut!" He yelled, hitting me across the face again. I let out a small yelp and clutched the side of my face. He grabbed me by the arm roughly and said "You've been at Jordan's house all night!" I tried desperately to get him to let go of my arm, which was hurting badly as he tightly held onto it.
I stuttered "I-I fell asleep. We didn't do anything." He smacked me again, and as I flew backwards I yelped from both the pain of being smacked and from the fact that he was still holding onto my arm.
"Dad, please! I promise we didn't do anything!" His grip tightened, and I couldn't help but whimper. He yelled "You're a liar, you little slut." He paused for a second, but then grabbed me by my other arm as well and he said "Fine, if you want to be a slut, you can go ahead and be one." I closed my eyes tightly and bit my tongue as my dad unbuttoned my pants and I heard the zip of his.
***
I woke up, lying on the cold floor infront of the door. I felt absolutely disgusting when I recalled the night before. Tears began streaming down my face from the pain in my lower abdomen, the pain in my face, and the pain in the back of my head.
My tears mingled with the crimson blood on the floor. When I stood up off the floor, I buttoned up my pants and ran quietly up the stairs and into my room. I undressed and stared at my bruised body in the full length mirror. It would be long sleeves and jeans again today. There's no way to hide the bruises on my face, I could only put on a bunch of make up and come up with an excuse.
***One Month Later***
I looked at myself in the mirror, the bruises on my face were almost gone, but you could still see a little bit of that ugly yellow color on my skin. Wringing my hands together, I looked up at the clock on the wall. My hand shook as a reached out for the pregnancy test.
All of the sudden, I broke down in sobs "No, this can't be happening." I wished I could just be sucked into a black hole and disappear. The test was positive. I felt my stomach lurch so I threw myself at the toilet and threw up.
fictionfanatic wrote:Prologue:
I undressed and stared at my bruised body in the full length mirror. It would be long sleeves and jeans again today. There's no way to hide the bruises on my face, I could only put on a bunch of make up and come up with an excuse.
When I entered my house, it was completely dark. Maybe he went to bed early and hasn't noticed I didn't come home. I silently closed the door and locked it. When I turned around I felt a large hand strike my face and send my backwards, hitting my head on the door as I fell to the ground. This is good, I just think you could've pulled the feeling out a little more. What I mean is, make us feel the sense of relief a little longer. How does a horror movie gain suspense? They make you think you're safe - you get that breath out - then BANG! I just would've liked if you gave us a little more time to breathe a sigh of relief alongside her, to make the hit from the dark more jolting.
fictionfanatic wrote:Prologue:
My hands shook as I put the key in the lock. When I twisted, I heard a very soft click. It was one in the morning, three hours past my curfew. I'd fallen asleep at my boyfriend Jordan's house while we were studying. I was scared to death, knowing what would happen when my dad saw me.
When I entered my house, it was completely dark. Maybe he went to bed early and hasn't noticed I didn't come home. I silently closed the door and locked it. When I turned around, I felt a large hand strike my face and send my backwards, hitting my head on the door as I fell to the ground.
Dad was holding a nearly empty beer bottle, which I knew was not his first, his green eyes stared at me hard as he slurred "Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea what time it is?" I knew better than to respond. I just slowly stood up, clutching the back of my head which felt wetmaybe add 'with blood'? I don't know, its up to you. I had to refrain myself from crying.
He threw the glass bottle to the ground, I flinched when it shattered. "Answer me you little slut!" he yelled, hitting me across the face again. I let out a small yelp and clutched the side of my face. He grabbed me by the arm roughly and said "You've been at Jordan's house all night!" I tried desperately to get him to let go of my arm, which was hurting badly as he tightly held onto it.
I stuttered "I-I fell asleep. We didn't do anything." He smacked me again, and as I flew backwards I yelped from both the pain of being smacked and from the fact that he was still holding onto my arm.
"Dad, please! I promise we didn't do anything!" His grip tightened, and I couldn't help but whimper.
New paragraph.He yelled, "You're a liar, you little slut.Its up to you, but I would put an exclamation point instead of a period for more effect." He paused for a second, but then grabbed me by my other arm as well and he saidtry something a little more interesting, like 'growled' "Fine, if you want to be a slut, you can go ahead and be one." I closed my eyes tightly and bit my tongue as my dad unbuttoned my pants and I heard the zip of his.
***
I woke up, lying on the cold floor infront of the door. I felt absolutely disgusting when I recalled the night before. Tears began streaming down my face from the pain in my lower abdomen, the pain in my face, and the pain in the back of my head.
My tears mingled with the crimson blood on the floor. When I stood up off the floor, I buttoned up my pants and ran quietly up the stairs and into my room. I undressed and stared at my bruised body in the full length mirror. It would be long sleeves and jeans again today. There's no way to hide the bruises on my face, I could only put on a bunch of make up and come up with an excuse.
***One Month Later***
I looked at myself in the mirror, the bruises on my face were almost gone, but you could still see a little bit of that ugly yellow color on my skin. Wringing my hands together, I looked up at the clock on the wall. My hand shook as a reached out for the pregnancy test.
All of the sudden, I broke down in sobs "No! This can't be happening!" I wished I could just be sucked into a black hole and disappear. The test was positive. I felt my stomach lurch, so I threw myself at the toilet and threw upsince you said 'I threw myself at the toilet' I think using 'vomited' in place of this would work better..
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