Too Soon - Chapter 2

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The old Turbo-T squeaked and creaked as it flew in the air, all over the regular houses and stores Kaylee had never been able to go in. The Turbo-T was old, but still had a decent auto pilot feature, so no one had to drive. Uncle Jack and Aunt Kit were leaning over an old book with Cedric, while eating oranges. Cedric was telling them about the farming techniques of the Incas and the Mayans; something about crop rotation and installing a new type of irrigation system.

Jack and Kit were still wearing their farming suits, while Cedric was fully decked out in a brown tunic, something that hadn’t been popular since the 2030s.

Kaylee just gazed out the window at a new InstaMotor 2074 that glittered when it flashed by. She had seen the advertisements on the Cinescreen for the vehicle, claiming that it could surpass the speed of sound while still being family friendly.

A couple of older InstaMotors and some newer Turbo-Ts passed, slower than the InstaMotor 2074. They were all shiny and covered in a beautiful, glossy paint Kaylee liked to look at. She saw a couple people peer out their windows to look at the Monroes’ old vehicle, and Kaylee hid her face behind her headrest. The Turbo-T was not only rusting, but it flew slower than any other vehicle she’d seen.

The Turbo-T swayed a bit to the left, and Kaylee looked back through the window and saw the glittery gray Meyersville towers in the distance. A couple of black buildings stuck out in the middle of the city, topped with elaborate stone carvings. People at school had told Kaylee that downtown Meyersville was pathetic; that in New York City there were thousands of floating skyscrapers above the older ones on the ground. But Kaylee didn’t care; Meyersville always looked magical, especially at night.

Slowly, the vehicle went downward and glided onto a landing pad on the top of one of the black buildings. The Turbo-T drove on the spotless black pavement, making its way through a crowded space filled with other vehicles. A couple minutes later, the vehicle parked between a Hovercraft and another InstaMotor.

The doors opened and Kaylee jumped out eagerly, wanting to get one look at some form of civilization. The parking garage was damp and a bit cold, but she ran to the edge of the building.

She peered over the railings and looked down at the big buildings. Hundreds of people were doing things below her, walking their dogs, talking to someone on their V-Mail, having coffee at one of the Internet cafés. It was all so glamorous, this city of Meyersville. Why couldn’t Uncle Jack and Aunt Kit live closer?

“Kaylee,” Aunt Kit bellowed, and the girl sashayed over to the Turbo-T brimming with food. Uncle Jack was holding two cardboard boxes, one in each hand, and handed one to Kaylee.

“Be careful,” he warned, “the squash is in that box.”

After everyone was carrying as many boxes as they could, they headed to a moving sidewalk only a few feet away. They steadied themselves as the sidewalk started out slowly, then plummeted down a few floors before straightening out again.

The room that they were supposed to be selling their food in was small, as always. It was on the bottom floor of the building, since no one cared about real food anymore. Someone had already set up a sand with a holographic register and compost bags. Besides that, the room was empty, small but spacious.

Uncle Jack ordered everyone to set down their boxes, then surveyed the room. He pointed to each person and gave them their order. “Kit: watermelons, mangos, and strawberries will go in that corner. Cedric: Your blueberries and bananas should go in the far right corner. Kaylee: Set up the squash in between their two piles, and then I want you to cover the front desk today. Understood?”

The gang nodded and followed Jack’s instructions. After five minutes, they decided they were ready to open up the stand. A green OPEN light had been placed outside the room’s automatic doors, and Cedric went to go turn it on.

After she was under the table with the register, Kaylee slid off her tight TurboBoots and wiggled her toes. Finally she thought, with much gusto, I get to man the desk.

For the first half an hour, no one stopped by the room to get a look at the produce. In fact, the people walking by, whom Kaylee could plainly see, were ignoring the Fresh Produce sign that flashed on the tiny Cinescreens outside the room. No one wanted to be associated with the fruit eating, tree hugging, animal loving hippies that the Monroes supposedly were.

One by one, people started coming in, inspecting the food with a bit of disgust. Kaylee saw a little girl stare confused at a fuzzy peach, soon picking it up and rolling it in her hand. The girl must have been around five, but she came up to Kaylee, alone, and placed the peach on the table.

“What is it?” The little girl pointed at the peach. “It looks funny.”

“No,” Kaylee looked from the peach back to the girl. “It’s something called a peach. It’s a fruit.”

“What’s a fruit?” The girl asked again, very confused. She tilted her head and looked up into Kaylee’s eyes.

Kaylee sighed before taking a deep breath. She pretty much got this answer in a different context everytime she had to work at the desk. She couldn’t believe that the teachers at school didn’t teach about old world food at school. “A fruit is something that a tree grows that you can eat. There’s lots of different fruits and they’re really good.”

“Are you supposed to eat this?” Another jab at the peach. “Where’s the wrapper? Why doesn’t it have a wrapper?”

“It’s not a food unit.”

The little girl stepped back, looking suddenly scared. “I’ve never had something that wasn’t a food unit.” She left the peach on Kaylee’s desk and ran briskly out of the room, into the arms of an awaiting woman who was glaring at the Fresh Produce sign.

The next couple hours, the Monroes still worked hard trying to sell their produce, to no avail. Only three sales had been made, and most of the people had just walked around to laugh about how people were stupid enough to keep on growing vegetables and fruit. After awhile, Cedric came over and handed Kaylee some CyberCents while Uncle Jack and Aunt Kit weren’t looking.

“Here,” Cedric whispered, his breath smelling like sweet cranberries. “Buy yourself something scientific to eat. It won’t hurt you to eat just one.”

With six CyberCents in her pocket, Kaylee ventured out of the room and into a bright hallway, filled with normal people wearing fancy neon body suits and riding more moving sidewalks. They all stared at her clothes, something that wasn’t as evident when she was sitting behind a table but was clearly evident now. It was at times like these that she truly realized how different from the world she really was.

Two moving sidewalks later, and Kaylee ended up in the huge food unit court of a building she had found on the map. The place was large, full of large shelves filled with every kind of food imaginable, covered in plastic wrap. She maneuvered through the aisles and ended up in the Chinese food section. There were a couple things that looked appetizing; a cake covered in fortune cookies, barbeque pork, and some fancy noodle meal, but Kaylee went straight for a plastic incased bowl of sweet and sour chicken with peas.

After paying, she settled down in a floating booth and opened the plastic chicken package. At first the chicken looked disgusting, cold, and gooey, like it had just come thawed out of a freezer. But after a minute of sitting, exposed to the air, it turned into a pretty, gourmet looking dish. That was what the food unit commercials always advertised, that after half a minute, food would already be already cooked by the air.

The food unit lying before her was so strange, but she leaned down and grabbed a piece of chicken with her fork. She had only had two other food units her whole life, a hot dog she had once sneaked at school, and some Italian Ice that Aunt Kit had bought her when Kaylee was four.

She took a bite and savored the sweet taste in her mouth, and realized why so many people ate food units. They were good.
Apple of my soul,
Eats me whole,
Take one bite,
No delight,
Rotting hole.




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Hi, Jane—told you I’d be back. ;)

I really like the greater development of your world and its background that we’re getting with this chapter. It was really interesting to see the outside world, and the way that the old and new cultures are clashing. I like how Kaylee’s reaction to the “modernized” citizens and the modernized citizen’s reactions to her and her family were sort of parallel—that mix of mild disgust and fascination. It’s interesting how Kaylee feels so out-of-place in the modern world and wishes she were more like the others, I think that’s a very realistic and relatable struggle for someone her age. Actually, I think this whole chapter was very good character development for Kaylee—her fascination with the outside world, in direct contradiction to her family’s lifestyle, made for a good emergence of a conflict for her character.

The descriptions of the outside world were also really nice, and I like how they reinforced the difference between Kaylee’s world—the rusty Turbo-T, the old cottage, the real food, the fields—with this sort of shiny, new, glamorous world of people who can’t even understand the way she and her family live. Like I said, I think that’s a sort of unique idea in science fiction, or at least, one I don’t run across a whole lot—the question of people who are a little left-behind by all the change, the people who don’t catch up with the rest of the world, and how society feels about them and how they fit in. I’m also interested to hear how the massive food shortages and disaster on the way are going to effect this place.

Once again, the mentions of technology did get a little… name-dropping-ish. I think I was fine with it until I got to “CyberCents” and then I was mildly baffled. XD Why would they rename their currency just to point out that it’s cyber now? Unless it was digital currency and regular currency is still in circulation… I dunno. XD In any case, if your story has a reason for it, then leave it as is. if there’s no particular reason, it might be a good idea to tone down all those brand names—after all, there’s probably no difference to Kaylee between cyber cents and regular ol’ cents.

Some quick nitpicks:

Someone had already set up a sand with a holographic register and compost bags.

Oops, typo. I think that was supposed to be “stand.” XD

After she was under the table with the register, Kaylee slid off her tight TurboBoots and wiggled her toes.

Might want to rephrase this—I kept reading it as Kaylee literally sitting under the table, which probably wouldn’t do much good for her business. XDD

Anyway, this is a great continuation of what chapter one started, and I hope to read more. I sure hope my critiques have been helpful to you, and not just mindless blathering. XD If they’re helpful, I’ll gladly come back for chapter three! :D
"The world is not beautiful, therefore, it is." --Kino's Journey

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I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
— Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest