This is rated for later chapters.
This is my latest work, while I should be doing other stuff, but don't ideas always come to you during these times? Anyway Constructive critisism is what I really want. Chapter 2 is the Explanation if you like. I suppose you could call this a Prolouge. Anyway, Enjoy!
Dying in your arms.
Revised Version
Dying in your arms.
Prologue- Revised.
It was peaceful here. Rays of sun reflecting on the pearly white petals of the daisies. I just stood there. I knew it wasn’t real. Nothing in life was this perfect, this peaceful. Even so, I didn’t want to leave. Real life was bad. Why would I have wanted to leave? If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here. No. Staying there would have been suicide.
For whatever the reason I left that place. I felt myself leave to wonderful pits of my imagination and awake to the cold harshness of the real world. I woke up, if you’re wondering. Getting out of my warm bed, I left the place I used to call home. Walking among the hills towards the river, that’s where I first heard it. A deafening scream. Then another. Another. I had ran back as fast as I could but I was too late.
The village was in flames. My house was in flames. “Toki!” “Mother?” I whispered, looking towards the source of my name. My mother was there, my father too, both being pulled away from me. I couldn’t think of anything else. I went inside the house and got my father’s sword, drawing it before I could even realise I was trapped inside a burning building.
Did I get out? Of course I did! Jumping out the top window, I made my escape. From my house that is. There was no escape from the village that night. As soon as I had jumped from the window, two of them were on me. They came towards me, yielding their sub-standard weapons, no real training. Not that they needed it. Our village is peaceful, we would not expect an attack. I unsheathed my sword as soon as I got up, after all I had just jumped out of a second story window, and it had not been a soft landing.
I dispatched them quickly using a single stroke of my fathers sword and run after the men that had my parents. They were already gone however. I had failed. Soon after another man came towards me. He was different from the others. I could sense something from him. He was evil. Pure evil. He yielded two blades, unlike the others in every way, they were finely crafted and were yielded with great precision. I was no match for him. I was on the floor in seconds. Everything had gone black, blank. It seemed only seconds ago I was in the daisy filled field, in the perfect life. A thud brought me to the present. Someone had hit me. I was still conscious, but barely. I knew what to do. Using my last ounce of strength, I thrashed with my sword.
I met flesh in seconds. There was a scream and a gasp of surprise. I was on my feet. “You fight well” spoke a voice. It was the man of pure evil. “My father trained me well” I replied. “Very” spoke the cold, emotionless voice.
I knew He could retaliate in seconds so I ran. I ran as far as I could. Past the river, over the hills to the mountain. There was no pursuit, but my father had taught me never to take things for face value. He had taught me never to give up. And I wouldn’t. My journey had begun. Things would have been so much simpler if I had remained asleep, in that perfect, daisy filled field. I wouldn’t be here, carrying this burden.
[/b]
Gender:
Points: 890
Reviews: 1