I don't know how you do it! You had me at the edge of my seat through the whole chapter! You made it intense, yet you didn't fail to miss the details that make the story realistic.
Poor Becca. Poor Vick. I hope someone shoots Will.
I'm sorry I couldn't find anything to fix--you're levels above me in this area, so it all looks publishable to me!
Way to go! Thanks for the PM!
--Anna
"Man needs music, literature, and painting--all those oases of perfection that make up art--to compensate for the rudeness and materialism of life." -Fernando Botero
No! No! NO! You can't do this...poor Vick =( Did it have to end there, did it truly have to end there? KJ you better make them get back together or I will cry because they were so cute together...and you know how much I love Vick.
And that cliffhanger nearly strangled me.
All in all, this was a really good chapter. I liked the descriptions and I think this will be a good book to publish. Congrats on getting this far.
Cheers!
~Angel
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.
This was good, but I felt like I missed something. Did she tell him about Will? I have to be honest and say this wasn't my favorite chapter, but maybe that's because Vick was sad. . I felt like this was a little too fast paced. I hope they get back together... . oh, and I loved the dream sequence, nicely done. Please continue to add on to Because. It's your best work yet....it really is...*ponders* . Hey did Vick tell her what happened to him because the way you wrote it, it sounded like he did. Sorry if I was mean.
**Mo**
If I can impact one person, just one, with my writing before I die, then I've lived a great life
I want you to know that I just read this entire story in one straight shot. It's addicting. Well-written. It sounds like something that would actually be a real book.
There's going to be more, right? I have to know what he did! HE KILLED ANN?
But are Becca and Vick really going to get together? They can't! Can they?
Maybe this will come out later, but who told the police about Sheldon and Becca?
Anyway, well done. I feel out of my mind. Which means you are very talented.
rachel
"He found his voice tended either to disappear or to come out too loud." -William Golding
~Well, I've decided to stay up late just to comment on this.
At this moment, I:
1) Want to slap Becca senseless and comfort her at the same time.
2) Want to run off into the sunset and have a happy ever after with Vick.
3) Was kidding about #3. Really.
4) Want to strangle you, KJ, for leaving me hanging like this.
5) Am upset because a story like this should be published, unlike other bad books like a certain book with a one word title starting with 'T' and 'S.M' for the author's initials.
6) Am envious at your skill and apologise that my inferior writing skills leave me nothing to nit-pick on and instead shower you with deserved praise.
7) ARGH!
Quickly. Post. The. Rest. Of. The. Story. Before. I. Explode. From. Having. To. Wait.
Please & Thank you
[Just one question: Shouldn't this be in the... Romance section? She likes Vick after all.]
{I know it's your story but I'll still hunt you down and kill you if Becca doesn't end up with Vick.}
*sharpens knife*
~Liverpool F.C Supporter~ "You'll never walk alone"
I didn’t want to, but I knew it had to be said[s], done[/s].
That's it! Well done! I am really enjoying the twists and turns of this story and can't wait to read more. Like Rachel I do want to know who turned Will into the police. Maybe you will explain that in the next chapters. Oh and someone said something about sharpening their knives if Vick and Becca don't get together. Ditto.
I am not addicted to reading, I can quit as soon as I finish one more chapter.
Viick D: Nooo ! Ouch .. tears came a bit to my eyes reading this . DX I get so emotional haha . Oh god I had the tense-ness . I have to get to the next chapter . I'm sorry I never really have critiques . .XDD