Ice Cubes #27

7 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 566
Taken down due to publishing
Last edited by miyaviloves on Fri Jun 29, 2007 12:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Bag.

Got YWS?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 5890
Reviews 410
Yay, 27!!!!

Well, this was great as usual! I'm glad that there is some action in it.

I cautiously made me way


#my#

When the time came I stood up from my hiding place, brushed down my jeans and waiting patiently at the electric doors. I watched as they caught me in their sensors, slowly opening again and again. Each time I would deliberately move, just to see where the sensors would catch me, and how close you actually have to be before the doors open for you. It was a pointless piece of research but it passed the time.


OK, I think this is a little too long and well, pointless. I normally love random things but I just wanted Jamiy to meet with Luke, rather than be told about these doors. Maybe it could be shortened?

I really have fallen in love with Ice Cubes!!!!! :D
Keep 'em coming!
Alainna
xxxxxxx

P.S. How is the publishing going???
Sanity is for the unimaginative.

Got YWS?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 514
Great as usual. I thought it was just a little bit random though. And I thought it was kind-of wierd for Jaimy to think that Luke was in love with him.

Ice Cubes='s Love. =D Write away! hehe.

-JC
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 566
Hello both :)

Alainna - The door thing does have quite a big importance, but you will find that on in later chapters, I too thought it was a little bit well...meh, I will edit it but it kinda needs to be there :(

JC - The thing about him thinking Luke was in love with him, is because Jamiy has only ever had attanetion from one person, Chris, so when someone else shows interest in him he gets all too excited and jumps to stupid cinclusion, but thats just Jamiy hehe!

Thankyou both for reading this again, you really are the best people ever!

Meevs
x
Bag.

Got YWS?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 45
How sho( shower!) Shower in slang means looking peng!-peng means looking hot. But when talking about some-thing, say an object it means good. phew..glad i got that over and out. But yea it looks sho!

But nah..nah I really love this i do, i really do. I perfect idea and i can tell you've realy thought about it to a sense. Although i love. I would say, carry on with it as i'm sure u'll know where those changes need to be made.
Keep it up




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 45
loved the idea and diary, type storyline




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 2816
Reviews 252
Hey Meevs. It's not just past midnight no, so what I say might be a bit more coherent. ;)

but one day when she had a ridiculous craving for mars bars

Capitalise the product name here.

or frightened that they may have been lingering around the corner

Before I even read the next part of that I imagined a mob of old people chasing him down the street lol.

And why do I get the feeling Jamiy's about to get hurt? =O I guess it's impossible not to when you get that excited about something, isn't it? xD Anyway, onto the next part. :)



Too often we crave the extraordinary in life, without even learning how to cherish the ordinary first. Friend, I promise you this: if you can learn to take joy in the simple mundane things in life, the extraordinary will take care of itself, it'll be on its way, hurrying towards you. But if you skip the first part, it'll ever evade you.
— Arcticus