Charlie and Logan- Chapter 6: Clean(er) Version

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Here's Chapter 6... enjoy!!!!! Note: Part of this is inspired the scene in "Obsessed" where Beyonce kicks Ali Larter's butt!

I was curled up in a corner, holding my legs to my chest. If I moved, a wave of pain would rack my body and I would end up crying. Asher was busy zipping his pants and looked over at me with a face of amusement. He picked up the frilly black thong that he had torn off of me and dangled it in front of me. "You always were one for the skimpy lingerie," he sighed, tossing the underwear at me.

"F**k you," I whispered quietly. When he kicked me, I bit my lip so hard that I tore a hole in my lip. Blood spilled out onto the floor and he laughed.

"You were also very mouthy if I recall." Kicking me again, he grabbed me by the hair and lifted me up. I winced, but didn't make a noise. This infuriated him. "Scream, you f**king bitch! Scream!" In response, I spit in his face. Letting go of my hair, I fell to the ground in a heap and he kicked me viciously in the stomach. Another kick landed on my jaw and I coughed out blood.

Lisa moved from her posistion in the corner and smiled. "Now,now Asher. Is that anyway to treat a guest?" He kicked me forcefully in the stomach again and Lisa put her hand on his shoulder and pulled him back forcefully. "We do want her alive for now." She nodded her head towards the only door in the room and Asher huffed, leaving the room. From my posistion on the floor, I looked up at her. She was staring down at me, her face unreadable. "You might want to get up from there," she said to me. "This floor is dirty."

Reluctantly, I struggled to sit up. Every muscle in my body ached as I sat against the wall and leaned my head back. "Why are you doing this?" I croaked. "Why didn't you just try to talk?" Lisa cocked her head to the side to observe me. "Come on bitch," I growled, pointing to my bloody jaw. "Or are you just into watching other people do your dirty work?"

She stepped forward. "Oh, I'm the bitch?" She grabbed me by the arm and yanked me up. "You stole my husband! You stole my life! You're not even 20 years old yet, and already you've secured a rich husband and you've had his child!" Pushing me into the wall with all her might, she continued. "You're nothing but a whore! You have ruined everything!"

"It was over before I even entered the picture!" I hissed. Adrenaline began to course through my veins and I rushed at her, ignoring the soreness in my body. Leaping on top of her, we both toppled to the floor. My fist met her face and she shrieked. Hitting her again, I broke her nose. "Do you like that?" I shouted as she hurled me off of her. My back hit the hard floor and I let out a groan of pain. Lisa was on top of me before I even had a chance to get off the floor.

"I'm going to take away everything precious to you!" she screamed. "Logan and Addison will be mine. Your mother, your brother, and that girly friend of yours will all be dead. And you, you will be alone! You will never feel love from anyone again." She jammed her elbow into my throat. "Logan. Is. Mine!" she screamed, taking her freshly manicured nails and slashing them across my face. In response to her scratch, I brought my knee up into her chest and kicked her backwards. Blood was trickling down my cheek and I felt another rush of rage.

Getting up and going to her, I grabbed her by her hair and hoisted her up. "You will never touch my child! No one threatens the people I love!" I jammed my palm up into her nose and kicked her back. "Stupid bitch!" I was about to pounce again when the door burst open and Asher and two other men came bursting in. They grabbed onto my body and yanked be backwards. "Get the hell off of me!" I screamed, kicking out with my legs.

"Grab hold of her," Lisa hissed. Both of the men grabbed me roughly by my arms and pushed me down to my knees, making me thrash even more.

"Get the hell off of me!" I yelled. I'd never felt more full of rage in my life. The sight of Asher and Lisa standing in front of me made me want to kill them. Lisa was going to take my daughter and Logan from me if I didn't do anything. I kicked one of the men holding me and he let go of me to nurse his abdomen which my foot had met. This gave me the chance I needed to lunge at Lisa.

"I told you to grab hold of her!" Lisa screeched, throwing her hands up in the air. "Do I have to do everything myself?" She grabbed my wrist and twisted it, seeming to have regained some of her strength. I yelped in pain and fell back to my knees again as she stood over me. Her face was showing sure signs of bruising and her nose was bloody and twisted. "Get her tied up. I don't care how you do it. Just make sure she can't use her hands or get loose." She glared at Asher and the other two men. All three of them were staring at her battered face, making her turn red. "What are you all staring at? Do it!" Before she made her way to the door, she came over to me and slapped me across the face. When that didn't faze me, she let out a girlish giggle and left the room.

Sighing, Asher looked around the room, trying to figure out what to use to follow Lisa's order. I glanced at both of my captors. One of them was a skinheaded, tatooed all over, and had his face set in a grim line. The other one was a boy who looked like he wasn't older than sixteen. Both of them simply stared ahead, not looking at me at all. "Here we go," he said, holding up a set of telephone wires.

"Hold onto her," the older man said, letting go of me, leaving me with the boy. While Asher and the older thug started fashioning means to attach me to a pipe on the ceiling. The boy nodded and grabbed hold of both my arms.

The two were arguing about how best to attach the cords, so I took the oppurtunity to grill the boy. "Why are you doing this?" I pleaded with a heavy voice. My body was finally feeling the amount of stress it should've been feeling from just punching Lisa. "We've never even met. How can you be okay with this?" His face was shaky and I could see beads of sweat forming on his forehead. I turned to look him in the eye and he met my gaze. He was scared; just his eyes told me that. "Please," I begged. "Please, help me."

He watched them carefully before turning back to me. "Don't you get it?" he snapped quietly. "I can't help you!" I looked over at Asher and the other man, but they didn't even look up from the tangled cords. Rubbing his terrified eyes, he leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear, "They're looking for you. I swear to you, he's looking for you. But they'll never find you. Lisa told him she'd kill you if he went to the police."

"Duke!" Asher hollered, motioning for him to bring me forward. Thankfully, he hadn't heard anything. Duke came forward, dragging me by the elbow, and threw me at Asher. Asher and the tatooed man grabbed me roughly and tied me into the contraption where my feet floated about five feet off the floor. He walked around to stand in front of me and snicker. "He'll never find you. He will look for you, but he'll never find you."

"Logan will find me," I spat. "He will find me, and when I'm not here, tied to a ceiling pipe, I'm going to kick your ass." I stared at him evenly.

"You're not going to have your old man take me out for you?" he laughed.

I didn't even blink; I didn't even flinch. "When I'm out of here, you're going to hear from me. Not from Logan. From me."

"That's provided you make it out of here alive." Without any other warning, his fist met my temple and I was out cold again.

No Sak, Pablo is NOT dead! (yet anyway...)
...or dear Bellatrix, who likes to play with her food before she eats it?
Fear makes the wolf seem bigger.
I got attacked by a swan.




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Bravo. Truly, you are in the process of writing something that is worth every moment of reading. There were a few minor grammar errors, and the graphics were a bit too "much". By this i mean, if she just bit her lip, blood wouldn't be spilling from it onto the floor as in the beginning. Or at least I haven't heard of so much blood spilling from a lip bite.
You are totally keeping up pace with this story line and you are holding me at the edge of my seat.
a few questions:
Why did Duke tell her about how Logan won't be able to find her?
Why did he tell her that?
And also, why does Lisa think she is on top of the world? Why does she still believe Logan should love her? She is evil for Christ's sake!

I really think that you are making so many twists and turns in this that it makes me want to keep reading.
Keep it going, Luxy!
--Ash .
And just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she turned into a beautiful butterfly.




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Yay Luxy!!! This was awesome, and now I don't have to murder you. But I AM going to murder Asher. The one thing I think you should change is take out the F word when Asher's yelling. I think the B word is enough. Other than that, write on and KILL PABLO!
Cats are like characters. You may say they're yours, but in reality, they own you. ~Me

You can take away all the arts you want, but soon, the children won't have anything to read or write about. ~Glen Holland




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Hello there. :)

I liked this chapter as well. And the ending... It's good to keep the suspense up and end with something like that. It seems like you've got the dramatic ending technique down. I don't have any nitpicks... Lucky you. ;)

Oh, and one last thing, I think you should write the full word (you know which word I mean ;)) If you rate it at eighteen or older, there shouldn't be any problem. I think it's part of the character and the scene, and it makes her more of a believable character. Plus, we are teenager after all... If people can't handle a few harsh words, and you warn them in the beginning, then it shouldn't be your problem.

Keep up the good work!

-Other One
Behind every mask, lies a man that can't live in his own skin. - Woe is Me <3
Need a reviewer? I don't bite, I promise. :) ---> viewtopic.php?f=188&t=76466



Saying Why-Double-you-Ehs is inversely like saying Ah-beh-Seh (Abc)... just say yewis it's cooler.
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