The Inch - The Full Story - The Final Chapter

The Inch

Chapter 6 – Farewell

“Elina?” a familiar man’s voice called, “Elina!”

Surprise struck both me and Elina when we heard the voice.

“That’s my father,” said the girl as she recognized the voice. “You must go.”

“Will we meet again?” I asked in hopes that that meeting will not be the last I was going to have with the girl I love.

“No…We are leaving tomorrow…” answered Elina in a very grief-stricken manner.

Tears slowly flowed down her face.

“What!?” I asked in total shock, bothered by a little breaking that started in my heart. “You didn’t tell me- !”

“I know,” cut in Elina. “I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you about this…”

“No!” I continued after I quickly inhaled a small amount of air. “This can’t be our last meeting!”

Out of nowhere, the voice called again- “Elina?”

“You should go…” murmured Elina.

No words came anymore, not even her father’s voice came to tap the anguish that Elina and I were both feeling. Silence remained as I stood up from the wooden swing and started walking away.

I finally got past the white fences. That moment, I looked back at Elina who was also looking at me, still sitting on the now half-occupied swing…the swing that only moved when we sat on it and when I left it.

I got on Shard and looked back again. That time, Elina was already on the little stairs to another one of their doorsteps. She was also looking back with her eyes still damp from the tears they had produced. After a few, short steps, Elina opened the door and slowly entered.



That night, I dreamed, and it was nice: Elina and I were both happy, looking deep into each other’s eyes, standing close to each other in the middle of the meadow where we first met, and all the ten fingers locked. Then, the dream became a nightmare…Storm clouds covered the bright sky, a lightning struck the ground which started to crack as soon as it got hit. Next thing I knew was that I fell, and seconds after, Elina fell too. I couldn’t have stood the nightmare any longer so I woke up and pulled my blanket close to me.

Minutes later, I finally rose up from my bed and paused momentarily. The mirror was the first thing that was in front of me and it reminded me of how lame a person I actually was. I stared blankly into the mirror. A pair of white, comfy pants and a white sleeveless shirt was all I was wearing.

“What do I have in comparison to this bachelor they were talking about?” I asked myself hopelessly. “I do not even have good clothes…”

I doffed my shirt, looked at my skinny, lean body, and tried to think that I was better than that Arcus guy but it appeared pathetic and stupid in the end…I just rolled my eyes and sighed.

I looked around and saw my violin case lying close to the cabinet. Another look around and I saw the old clock telling me that it was already nine in the morning. Calm sunlight was already coming through my small window. I suddenly felt depressed and in need for some fresh air, so I went outside my room and looked for a ladder.

Several seconds later, I found a ladder and used it to get on our roof. There, I sat for hours doing nothing because I had not even one idea what to do about Elina’s departure. ‘It is today’ was the only thing I had in mind and it kept repeating as the minutes passed by.

Nearly half an hour of moaning, hugging of my knees, and covering of my face with my hands, I raised my head up and saw a pretty expensive carriage and a small number of people coming out of the manor – The Chancellights, as vivid as I can see. They wore very formal clothes as they always had – suits, dresses, gowns...Finally, Elina came out of the house, looking as lovely but as sad as ever.

Quickly, I slid down the roof, grabbed my black cotton coat that was hung nearby, and buttoned it up. I whistled and Shard came running towards me after a few seconds. I mounted on it, held the rope, and spoke with strength –

“Glide as fast as you can.”

It started running immediately, following the path and into the cover of slightly thin maple trees. Dad called from somewhere and told me to put the ladder away but I just went on and didn’t answer. My mind went blank again. All that I kept thinking was that I need to catch up with Elina. Everything was unplanned.



I kept on riding towards the carriage…Elina…my love...even though I had no idea on how far they have already travelled. I passed by their manor, their lovely-looking home, now empty with all the sadness Elina could’ve had after our last conversation.

Uncountable measures of time slid past my distressed mind. My face persistently kept a light but serious scowl through the lengthiness of the distance I have already taken. The scowl on my face only started to fade when I finally got a glimpse of the carriage the Chancellights were riding.

“Elina…” I whispered to myself in a very solemn manner, nearly out of breath.

When the carriage was about to cross a stone bridge, I finally shouted—

“Elina!”

Once again—

“Elina!!”

The carriage stopped, and I was relieved to see that. I pulled the rope to halt my horse and then, I finally dismounted.

I saw Elina getting off the carriage hurriedly, holding her light green dress with her right hand. Her father, however, also got off the carriage to stop her. He called two armed men who got down from the driver’s seat. Elina’s father grabbed her left hand from behind her and pulled her back. His grip was inescapable.

It was quite noticeable that Mrs. Chancellight and another female relative were beginning to act hysterical inside the carriage. Suddenly, the two armed men started pointing their shotguns at me. Surprise struck both I and Elina.

“Shoot him,” was the next thing I heard, and it was from her father.

I was not ready for this…

One of the armed men fired his shotgun above the centre of my chest. Elina called my name at the same time, with the voice I have always loved. The voice wasn’t the usual sweet and gentle, it was loud and full of anguish, same as the dreaded gunshot. Well, another sound came in unison – It was the scream of the women in the carriage.

On the back of my mind, I was wondering why her father wanted me to die or to be shot at least. He and Mrs. Chancellight already approved of my friendship with Elina…so why!? Was he, like I did behind the door a year ago, eavesdropping when Elina and I were talking in their garden? I simply had no idea.

Nevertheless, the pain began to stir as I fell down on my knees. But I was unexpectedly able to ignore the pain for all I thought was that I need to be with Elina, and that had just turned out to be impossible. Finally, I fell on my left and lied down, dying on the ground. My head was tilted towards Elina’s direction. I closed my eyes as I struggled against the flowing of a tear.

“Haniel…” called Elina using her sweet, gentle voice again. Panic was all in her voice.

I opened my eyes and saw Elina in front of my face. Her face was full of tears. She stood up.

“Shoot me too!” she commanded the man who shot me.

“No!” I cried with all my might despite the pain I was suffering.

She just can’t die! was my entire thought.

My vision was already blurring…I started losing all my senses…The world began to deprive me of itself.

The voices that followed were inaudible. Next thing I heard was another gunshot…

No…! was the thought that conquered my mind.

I tried to see clearly again which made me feel happiness and regret at the same time: Happiness because I saw Elina’s face again. Her tears seemed like they will never run dry. She was lying right in front of me; Regret because I found out that she was also shot. Blood was flowing above her left breast.

“Why!?” I asked her. My voice was shaking terribly.

She spoke—

“It will not be worth living without you…” she answered, and I felt the emotions she had.

“I love you,” she continued. Those were the last words I wanted to hear.

“I love you too,” I answered with all my heart.

Then, I tried to kiss her. Our faces were getting closer and closer to each other.

An inch – that was all that was left…Then, there was darkness, never-ending darkness.

Sweet story with a tragical ending!! I loved Haniel courage! I'm smiling because you're a great writer and for what happened, it was great! Keep on writing!

Thanks for all the comments ! Anyway, I just hope there are other readers who would comment too xD

Hi, Whisperer! I’ve been delayed a long, long time, but here I am at last at the end of a wonderful story.

Awww, how sad. I have to admit that the ending of this broke my heart, which I imagine was what it was intended to do. I think Haniel and Elina stayed really true to who they were as characters until the end—they were both very young and very vulnerable and they lived and loved with their whole hearts, if not their whole heads, just as they always have done. Haniel especially showed some character development just before the end—he finally overcame his struggles with his feelings of inferiority and decided that, in fact, he was strong enough to save Elina, he was good enough to care about her, and if she loved him, then they could be together. But I think Elina showed a little growth too—for the first time, she really, directly stood up to her and her father’s wishes, she really defied her family and the gilded cage she’s grown up in and just for once decided something based, not on what her family wanted, but on what she wanted. And yet-- realistically, it was too late for both of them, and that’s what makes the ending good. I think what makes a really great tragedy is that the fall is based on the flaws of the characters, and I think that’s definitely the case in The Inch—they realized they could seize their dreams, they realized they could be together, but they hesitated just a second too long.

I have to admit, I’m a huge fan of the last sentence, too—I’ve always loved “title drop” type lines, and situations where the title of the story makes sense only at the very end, so I thought it was a beautiful line. In a way, the inch referred to by the story’s title isn’t just the inch between Haniel and Elina as they die, it’s the inch between them throughout the entire story. Haniel was always just a little removed from Elina, whether by his shyness, his social class, or his fear of ruining their friendship. They were really always a little inch apart. And in the end, that inch was what doomed them—because of that inch, Haniel was scared to tell Elina that he loved her until it was too late, and Elina was afraid to tell Haniel of her fate until it was too late—they couldn’t have escaped, because that inch got in the way.

I’ve got to say, however, that the ending created a really abrupt change in pace that was sort of awkward and unwieldy. Most of the story has been moving at a pretty gradual pace and focusing mostly on human inter-relationships, so the sudden change to a scene where the two main characters are brutally shot by armed guards hired by Elina’s angry father is, well, sudden. It’s almost as if, say, Lord of the Rings had been settled by everyone talking to Sauron about their feelings, or the Disney version of Cinderella had ended in a massive shootout. The content of the ending is so far removed from the rest of the story that it seems like it came out of nowhere.

In some ways, this could be a good thing—the tragedy really is very unexpected, it comes out of nowhere, and that makes it truly shocking and horrible. However, because it’s so different from the content of the rest of the story, it comes off as kind of… random, and a little forced—like the tragedy was just added because True Art is Angsty.

I also feel like a lot of aspects of the story went unresolved, and it could actually use a little bit of expansion. For example, Haniel’s father was kind of discarded after about chapter two, and I would have loved to see a little more emphasis on his and Haniel’s recovery from their grief over the loss of Haniel’s mother. Elina’s father transformed from pretty nice guy to violent villain willing to kill his own daughter for… basically no reason very suddenly. This is a bit disappointing in a story with such great and well-developed characters. I especially think some resolution to the subplot about the mother might be good here—think of how much more hard-hitting Haniel’s death would be if you consider he and his father had finally reconciled with their grief before he was lost as well.

I hope I’m not being too harsh here, because I really do love this ending and this story has so much potential. I just think a little more character development and foreshadowing might be in order to make the ending truly great.

In the end, I really loved reading the Inch—it was beautiful, dreamlike, and sad, and I think the two main characters really captured a spirit of gentle, entirely purehearted love which was just wonderful and appealing to read. If you post anything else out here, drop me a line! You’re an amazing writer and I’d love to read whatever it is that’s next. : )

Wow. Usualy I'm very critacal, and have a long review, but today my review is just, wow. I loved it and the tragic ending with an inch before their final kiss.

*gasp*

...
Why? I knew it coming though, I knew it was going to be tragedy but ending like this? WHY?!
Firstly, it was full of suspense and I didn't even want to stop and completely review this because the entire time my focus was concentrated on the next sentence. Although, I had one question...
Did Elina shoot herself or did the guards shoot her? I don't think the guards would've shoot her because I mean, she is the daughter you know? Even if she throws a tantrum or screams and yells, I don't think her parents could order her life to be taken away. So I'm thinking she might have shot herself. Anyway, it was a beautiful tale, reminding us that Love is also cruel. My favorite...it's gotta be the ending sentence. I was wondering why it was called The Inch and now I know, they were just an inch apart. Oh, man, it's just so sad!
You did a wonderful job * Applause* I love the ending, even if it was like this and I loved the story. Beautifully executed!
With that being said, I wish it was longer.
Sorry, this isn't much of a helpful review...but I don't really see anything wrong that you might have to change.
Keep writing!

~Pink

Whisperer,
I can't beieve what a completely amazing story this was! It was so great...I'm speechless! The characters were well-developed and whimsical, the plot flowed gracefully, and I absolutely loved it! The character of Elina was very care-free (in the first few chapters, anyway) and sweet, & the character of Haniel is brave, heroic, & relatable. Also, I love the way you use your wording; It is descriptive and easy to understand, so i feel as if i am actually in the story: the works of a genius writer!
As for the ending: it made me want to cry (this is a good thing coming from me, as well as from other critics, because it means that we are emotionally connected to your story.) It's tragic, but as a wise person once told me: it's like Romeo & Juliet- the tragedy makes it memorable!
I found a few grammatical errors...but nothing major or that you should worry too much about, at least not until you get the book published.
So...keep up the good work, Whisperer!
~Morgan3509