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I Think I'm in Love #4

BigBadBear · 2008-03-14T01:43:16Z

This is the final section of my short story, "I Think I'm In Love". I want to thank all of those people who have supported me and have helped me with this story. Seriously, this just started out as an excersise to get me out of writers block. So, I thank you. This is dedicated to you. And sorry... it's a bit long. But it's good! - 3-13-08 Dad didn’t tell me anything more about Mom coming home last night. It really pissed me off. I mean, shouldn’t I be entitled to know more about her? I haven’t talked to the lady for three years! He could have given me more information! Seriously… Well, I woke up today because I heard Dad in the kitchen. I went out there and found him flipping through an old photo album. As soon as I came out there, he shut it. But I knew what the photos showed. It was the photo album of my parent’s wedding. I thought that Dad had gotten rid of it as soon as Mom had left us, but I guess he didn’t. The front of it was engraved with a golden lacing. There were the words, “Forever and Always” written. “Dad,” I said, “when is she coming?” He shook his head and wiped his eyes. “Sometime this week. But she’s not coming for long,” he said, or something like that. I can’t remember exactly. But he continued saying that she was only going to come to documents. “What for?” I asked. He told me that they were to take me away. I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t. How could a slut like her come and take me away? It wasn’t legal! Was it? I asked my dad, and he didn’t know. He said he doubted it, but his mother had a well-known lawyer. I was so freaking mad at her. How could she do this? The judge surely wouldn’t just let her waltz up here and take me! Even if I was her child, I wouldn’t allow it. I had a right to say something… right? Forever, Emily 3-14-08 She called today. She said that she was going to get her tomorrow. Please, God, let her die in a car crash. Cut off her head, I don’t care. If she comes, I’ll run away. Yes! That’s what I’ll do… I had to return Tender Mercy back to the library yesterday – it was three days overdue. I didn’t want to give it up. In total, I think that I had read it six times. Forever, Emily 3-15-08 Whoever this jerk-off Jesse Brandon is better start showing himself! After sixth period today, I found a note stuck in the little slits in my locker. I unfolded it and read: ‘My dearest Tamera, Why have you stopped searching? Love can be found in the simplest of places. I believe you in, my love.’ That was a direct quote from Tender Mercy, so whoever this Jesse guy is really knows this book. I remember that scene perfectly. Tamera had given up hope because she had seen Jesse with another woman. But it turned out, after all, that the other woman was his sister. Mom isn’t here yet. I’m almost ready to run away… but I know I can’t. I can’t desert Dad like that. I can’t hurt him again. After she walked out on us, he became a drunk, and everything when down from there. Now, for once in his life, he is rising up to the mountains. I’m afraid that if I leave him, he’ll be a drunk, just as if she had left him. Forever, Emily 3-18-08 Mom still isn’t here and Dad and I just found out that she has been staying in a hotel. Apparently, by some sort of a law, she can’t come to our house until she has the legal documents. I know that she won’t get them. A woman can’t ditch a family and then come back. It has to be illegal! It’s Sunday today, and I haven’t heard any more about Jesse. I bet that he’s just some older kid pulling a prank on me. And if I find him, I’m going to tear his freaking throat out! Forever, Emily 3-19-08 Now, I don’t understand the law anymore than you do, I’m afraid. A letter came in the mail today. It said something about a trial. Mom was sending us to court so she could get her filthy hands on those documents. Dad and I both have to come, with a lawyer if necessary. I hate the government. Brittany wasn’t at school today. I have no clue where she was. I’ve never noticed it, but I really rely on her a lot. I sit by her at lunch. We sit next to each other in English. My life seems empty without her. But I’m sure that she will be back tomorrow. I’m guessing that Dad didn’t want me to see the little swig of beer that he took today. I had come into the kitchen the moment that he drank it. He hurriedly flung it in the fridge and said he needed it to calm himself down. I don’t blame him, but still… I don’t want him to drink again. Forever, Emily 3-20-08 I was right all along! I can’t believe it! What I’m feeling right now – anger, hate, rage – is too much to put on paper. I don’t know how to explain it. My handwriting is becoming very sloppy, but I don’t care. I need to scream. I want to kill him!! I saw ‘Jesse Brandon’ slip a note into my locker today. I was so completely shocked that I actually screamed. He turned around and I saw who he was. Landon Bell. The freaking idiot! Landon was one of those jocks that played basketball every minute of their freaking life. I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! When he saw me he burst out laughing. What an idiot! His face was turning red and all of his friends were cheering him on. It turned out that he had been putting them in my locker to “get my love hopes up, and then at the right time, bring me crashing down”. I can’t believe him! I can’t freaking believe it! He’s such a retard! I want to kill him! There are tear spots on the pages now. Great. I hate life. I need to go and die. Or, better yet, Landon needs to go and die. Why did he have to do something as horrible as this? I thought for a while that I was in love. I thought that someone loved me. What is love, anyway? Is it just something that makes you feel good, and then your hopes go crashing down around your ears? Is it something that other jerks play with to torture you? I suppose so. Forever, Emily 3-25-08 The trial was today. I woke up in the morning and got dressed. I had to put on my best ‘Sunday’ clothes. I was searching for them and crying at the same time. I haven’t gotten over what … he… did to me. And I never will. Someone as cruel as that deserves to burn in hell. He needs to. He needs to die. And I’m going to kill him if I ever see him again. My dad was drunk that morning. He had woken up rather early and got drunk. I had never seen so many beer cans laying about the house. He was swaying back and forth, his bottom lip trembling terribly. He couldn’t go to the trial until he was sober, I knew. But still… the trial was at one o’clock. I dunked his head into a sink full of water and tried my best to wake him up, but nothing worked. I was so frustrated! He wouldn’t cooperate with anything I said. For example, if I said, “Dad, get your shoes on!” he would completely ignore me and resume watching T.V. He was absolutely dreading the trial. He promised himself that he would do all he could to stay home. Maybe he should call in sick, he even suggested. I slapped him across the face and shouted at him. I forced his best shoes and clothes on and then opened the car door. I’m only fifteen years old, but I wasn’t going to allow my father to drive while still drunk. I swear, I was so nervous that I could literally faint. I was going to have to drive to the city hall, which was four blocks away; not too far. I had been taking about a quarter of Driver’s Ed in school, so I knew the very basics. I turned on the car and grasped the steering wheel. I can’t believe how stupid of a girl I was. I was going to illegally drive to the city hall so my mother couldn’t legally touch me. I was crazy! As I’ve stated before, I hate the government. And Landon Bell. I wanted to kill them both. I wanted to pound the life right out of them! It was an absolute horror fest as I drove down the busy roads. I forgot to signal and I pummeled straight into the parking lot. I remember pounding the brakes into the floor of the car and it jerked to a stop. Dad was hollering at me for making such a lousy entrance, but I parked it (parallel, I might add; Driver’s Ed actually works!) and I helped him out. We were going to be late if we didn’t hurry, so I made him jog to the court. When we finally got there, our lawyer, named James Irving, escorted us to the front of the court. I had never been in one before, but the court was just like what it looked like on T.V. The judge was up in the front, holding his hammer thing. I forget what it’s called. Anyway, the meeting started and he called out all of these names. I believe that it was a roll call. After that, he turned the time over to Mom’s attorney (she was looking too happy, with her ugly brownish hair and dark eyes) and he took the stand. Already I was loosing interest. Mom’s attorney called her to the stand with him, and she told why she wanted to have visitation rights or something like that. They used a lot of words in the trial that I can’t remember specifically. Anyway, it dragged on slowly. I listened, but didn’t pay attention. I think they call it, ‘in one ear and out the other.’ I heard our lawyer call my name and I jumped. What had he said? I blushed furiously because I didn’t know what was happening. Dad was sitting next to me, looking not so drunk anymore. He looked at me and motioned me to go to the stand. I felt my heart jump out of my throat. I slowly made my way up there and I had to sit in a little box off to the left of the judge. Mom’s attorney asked me all of these questions, along with the judge. I don’t remember a lot, but one of them was, “Do you sustain the fact of your mother’s visitation rights?” I couldn’t remember what half of those words meant! My head went completely blank. I uttered the first word that came to my mind. “Um…” Everyone was looking at me! I fidgeted. I could see my dad shaking his head slowly. Did that mean I was supposed to say no? The attorney looked blankly at me. “No. I mean no.” I saw my mother gape at me, and her eyes turned the size of acorns. Ha! Just what she needed! Anyway, I was called back to my seat with the water that I downed, and the trail went on. And on. And on. At last, the judge turned to a bunch of people sitting in a larger podium type thing and nodded his head. The ‘jury,’ I guess, whispered amongst them and at last decided on their answer. “After Sydney Whales left her husband and her ten year old daughter, leaving no contact numbers, or any other information, we oppose of the visitation rights.” My heart nearly leaped for joy. I heard my father sigh deeply and whispered, “I need another drink…” I’m all out of room. I’ve used four pages! I’ll be back to write more! Forever, Emily 3-26-08 I guess that I pretty well covered everything. Pretty much everything that I remembered from the trial was stated there, so I’m out of ideas. Looking back on the last few months, I’ve had an extraordinary time. The whole ‘Jesse Brandon’ issue, my mother, and being in love has been quite an adventure. Although, I’m pretty sure that I won’t be falling in love with a fictional character again. After all, there are no such things as happily ever afters. Dad is drinking again. He doesn’t hit my anymore, thank heavens. I guess it was just that couple of times that he went out of control. Anyway, he drinks, but not all the time. Just a couple beers here and there, and I can deal with that. Mom has absolutely no visitation rights. Dad and Mom’s divorce is coming up and that means (joy!) another six hour trial. I just can’t wait… I re-checked out Tender Mercy. I really want to buy it, but I just don’t have the money. I’m sure Dad would loan me some cash, but that means that I would have to pay him back. Maybe he’d forget about it? And as for myself, I’m doing pretty well. I’m not crushing, and I don’t plan to. School is getting in the way with everything. It’s already fourth quarter! Where did this year go? But who knows… maybe next year I can find someone. Someone real this time. Someone who will care for me and not make me seem like a fool. Crap. I think I’m in love. Forever, Emily