Spoiler
Sorry for the sudden ending in part one of chapter one, but I thought that posting the entire chapter in one posting would be a bit overwhelming. Also, this is only a first rough draft, so it is most definitely not perfect, therefore, I'm open to criticism and comments. If something confuses you or you see a typo please let me know! :) -Rachael
I looked up and found myself in the middle of Cityplace near Downtown West Palm Beach, Florida. I looked around, enjoying my freedom. Cityplace looked a lot like an outside mall, and had all the major stores that could be found in one. Seth and I only occasionally came here; we liked to hang out at our houses or the beach instead.
I heard the muffled sound of my phone ringing from inside my bag. I dug through my bright yellow purse until I found my phone. By the time I flipped it open, I missed the call. Aunt Stephanie.
“Crap,” I said under my breath.
I didn’t even have a chance to call her back because my phone started ringing again. I answered, expecting the lecture that was sure to come.
“Why would you do that to me?” Aunt Stephanie began. “Do you have any idea how I felt waking up to your empty bed this morning? I swear I had a heart attack.”
“Aunt Stephanie, when did you even wake up?” I asked, already knowing the answer. She had probably only woken up a few minutes ago, as usual.
“Doesn’t matter,” she replied defensively. “What matters is that you get your butt home as soon as possible before I come and get you myself.”
I could tell that she was about to start rambling on about the same things she tells me every waking hour. So I hung up the phone, not in the mood for it. She wasn’t about to ruin my day.
My phone rang again; I rejected the call. It rang again…and again …and again until I finally turned it off. Why does she always have to overreact about everything? Sure, I snuck out of the house. Big deal. If she would have let me come here by myself in the first place, then I wouldn't have had to sneak out.
This is so typical Aunt Stephanie… threatening to come and get me. As if she knows where I am. That’s my obsessively overprotective aunt for you. She’s always rambling on about how dangerous people are and how I shouldn’t trust anyone. She won’t even let me talk to anyone without doing a full-on background check on them; it gets ridiculous at times.
I had been so preoccupied with my thoughts that I hadn’t seen the man walking right toward me until it was too late. He couldn’t see anything past his large map, including me. We ran right into each other. He dropped his map and caught my elbow before I could trip.
“Hey I have to go, I’ll call you back later.” he said into the phone that was placed in between his shoulder and cheek.
“Oh my goodness,” I said to him. “I’m so sorry about that. I was completely distracted.”
“No, no. It’s fine.” the man said. He still held my elbow and quickly glanced at my wrist. He let my arm drop to my side and looked at me with a large smile on his face; showing off all of his white teeth, no doubt.
“Are you sure? I completely ran into you like an idiot.”
“No,” he laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I was just as much an idiot as you were. I really shouldn’t try and multitask; it isn’t my forte.”
I laughed and gave him one of my most promising smiles. He looked to be around only a foot taller than me, with a nice, but not bulky, build. He had black hair that was attractively messy and covered most of his forehead. But what stood out the most about him were his piercing green eyes.
“No offense,” I began. “But you look like such a tourist.”
“That’s because I am one.” he chuckled. “Could you, by any chance, help me find a store? I’m completely lost and this map doesn’t help out much.”
I considered this for a moment. He looked like he was around four years older than me. Aunt Stephanie would probably be upset if she found out that I helped an older man find a store in Cityplace by myself.
“Sure,” I agreed. “What store are you trying to find?”
“It’s some French store. I don’t know how to pronounce the name.” he explained as he held up the map and pointed to the store name.
“Oh, I was just there.” I told him. He wanted to get to the store that I had just gotten the dress from.
“Perfect!”
I led him back the way I had just come from and stopped in front of the store.
He looked at me. “Well you have been very helpful, Miss..?”
“Elizabeth.”
He smiled at me, “Elizabeth. Thank you again for all of your help.”
“You’re forgetting something,” I said as he started to walk toward the entrance.
“I am? What?” he turned; looking around.
“You know my name, but I don’t know yours. Don’t you think that’s kind of unfair?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I must have forgotten.” he seemed flustered. “My name’s James," he said as he offered his hand.
“Well it’s nice to meet you, James," I said, shaking his hand.
“You too, Elizabeth.”
I looked at him once more, and turned away heading the way I had originally started to go.
“You too, Elizabeth.” I heard him whisper again before I was out of earshot.
For the next few hours, I finished shopping. Subtly, I continued to steal various things from multiple different stores. It was starting to get dark as I stepped out of my last store. Deciding to head home, I started walking down the sidewalk.
I felt a warm breeze blow my hair around my face. The streets had an eerie feeling about them and I began to become very anxious to get home. I started walking a bit faster; trying to get home sooner. But not before I saw headlights close behind me and heard male voices yelling something inaudible.
I turned to see two large men getting out of their car only a few feet away from me. They were looking directly at me. Compared to me, they were both huge, and they smiled as they approached me with absolute confidence. I suddenly just knew. Somehow, I knew that they were going to kill me. My body stopped moving; stopped working altogether. I froze completely; fearing that I had just taken my last breath.
. I appreciate that you tone down her bad-girl image a bit, like when you had her act polite to the stranger. It gives us the feeling that she really is a good person, even though she’s a bit selfish and rebellious. Her angst with her mother was believable; I mean, I’m pretty sure that every teenage girl has felt the same frustration from being bound by their parents. So, all in all I think you’re doing a great job with her character.
