Spoiler
This is a work in progress that I have given so much time and love! I really appreciate all the advice and remarks!
Carmen
Bacon and scrambled eggs was a Wednesday morning tradition in my household. I raised my dark brown eyes from the fluffy light yellow scrambled eggs and glanced up at my dad, who sat across the table reading the morning paper. I diverted my eyes to the window and sighed. I found myself scared to speak to him. I was about to ask him a question that I knew would make him uneasy.
I stared at my reflection for a brief moment: I was still wearing my pajamas, which consisted of a simple baggy pair of sweatpants and a grey tee shirt that was two sizes too large. Maybe it was time to pick up some new PJs... I stopped that thought. Now wasn't a time to think about clothes shopping. I forced myself to pick up a piece of bacon, trying to distract myself from my nervousness. Breaking off a smaller piece, I popped it into my mouth as my gaze moved back to Dad. I watched as he closed the newspaper and put it down by his empty plate. Lifting his coffee cup, he caught my gaze with his hazel eyes.
“Is something the matter?” he asked me before he took a sip of his coffee.
I dropped the piece of bacon back on my plate, averting my eyes once more. “Well….” I said, my eyes tracing the details on the picture of sunflowers my mother had hung on the wall a few years back. “Here’s the thing…I’ve been waiting awhile to bring this up…” I paused once more, trying to remember the speech I had prepared for this very moment. “I want to go back to school,” I said, clenching my eyes closed. I waited for the inevitable “No”.
Dad stood up, sliding his chair in as he stepped back. Picking up his coffee cup, he walked across the kitchen and moved for the coffee pot. He paused as he looked my way. “Is that what you really want?” he asked me, his voice soft.
“Yes.” I nodded, shocked that he was even considering having a discussion about it.
I watched him sigh as he scratched the scruff on his chin. “I don’t know, Carmen,” he said, placing his cup down on the counter. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable letting you go back.”
“But Dad,” I said. I could hear the whininess of my voice come through and I wished I didn’t sound like a spoiled child. “This is something I really really want. I know that this time it will be different. I promise.”
“Then,” Dad turned and picked up the coffee pot, “I don’t see why not. However, there is one condition. If you do go to school and things start turning bad, I want you to resume home schooling with no complaints, alright? Also, I‘m going to have to speak with your mother. If she isn't comfortable with you going, then I can‘t go behind her back and tell you that you can.”
“Of course!” I said. “Oh, thank you, Dad!” I said. I got up and ran over to him, throwing my arms around him. “Thank you so much!” I said, hugging him.
“Just promise me not to start acting like those other teenagers,” Dad said, hugging me back. He ruffled my dark curls before stepping back. “Don’t withhold anything from me. I want to know how things are going. And if something bad happens, I want you to know that I’m here to help.”
“You’re getting sappy, Dad,” I said with a laugh. “You have to go tell Mom! You guys have to talk now! Sooner than later, right?” I said, pulling him from the kitchen by the arm. “This is so great!”
----
I could hear them talking in the kitchen. After Dad had told my mom what he was wanting to talk to her about, she had almost ripped some of her blond hair out as she stood braiding it in the bathroom. She had gone downstairs to the kitchen to talk with Dad while my sister and I were both forbidden from going in.
“I don’t think this is a good idea.” I heard Mom sigh. “You know what could happen if we let her go back.”
“Becca, Sweetie,” Dad said. “She’s sixteen now. And we’ve helped her since what happened. I’m sure she can hold her own now.”
I heard a chair skid on the floor and I knew Mom had sat down.
“You are so not going to school,” my little sister, Renée, said, looking up at me from where she stood against the door next to me, listening. She held her tattered stuffed pink bunny that she had had for as long as I could remember. She was ten, yet she still carried it around.
“Oh shut it,” I said down to her, trying to listen.
“If I know mom, she won’t let you,” Renée said. She watched me with her hazel eyes.
“We’ll just have to wait and see,” I said, trying not to let her ruin my mood. I was going to school, there were no and's, if's or but's about it.
“Are you really sure she’ll be alright?” I could hear the genuine concern in Mom’s voice.
“Yes,” Dad said, “I really do. She’s proved to us over the last few years that she has control.”
“You know I trust your judgment,” Mom said and I heard a chair skid on the floor; but I couldn’t tell if Mom had gotten up or Dad had sat down.
My sister and I both jumped back as the kitchen door opened and Mom stared at us in equal surprise. “I should’ve known you two would be listening,” she said with a soft laugh as she ruffled Renée’s dark hair.
“What’s the verdict, Sheriff?” I asked, wanting to get straight to the point.
“You’re allowed to go,” Mom said with an unsure smile. I could tell she was sad and afraid by the fact that her blue eyes, always glowing with laughter and smiles, were dulled.
----
There was still another half an hour before the first bell that would signal that the first day of school had started. It was the first day of school for me in eight years and I found myself almost unbearably nervous. I glanced up at the three story school that loomed overhead. I gulped. This was something I had been dreaming of and now I found myself unable to move. I listened to the people around me, clustered in their little groups of friends. I tried to pin point on a fashion trend that I could possibly follow so I could maybe make some friends; but everywhere I looked, it was like everyone had some different style going on. From different bold hair colors to piercings everywhere. The clothes consisted of mostly ripped pants and tights and lots of studs. But there was also a lot of skirts and bright shirts with sayings on them.
I reflected on my own outfit of the day. I was wearing a simple pair of jeans and a ruffled pink tee shirt. I shifted my feet where I wore a pair of pink converse shoes with white laces. There was no way I was going to fit in.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed some other girls who seemed to be wearing pretty plain things too. That was a sign of relief for me. Now all I had to do was find my locker. Forcing myself to walk forward, I headed in through the double dark brown doors that protested at first, but finally allowed me to open one door. My first reaction was to freeze when I realized just how busy a high school was. Staring ahead, I was nudged from behind as another student tried to get in past me.
“O-oh!” I hurried forward into the awaiting crowd of students. I managed to maneuver my way through the crowd as I dug out a piece of paper out of my pocket. It had my locker number and combo on it. Stopping for a moment when I felt it was safe, I looked up at the lockers next to me and tried to find the numbers past people’s heads. Continuing on when I hadn’t found my number, I bit down gently on my bottom lip. There were still two more floors and I really hoped that I wouldn’t be required to climb up stairs every morning to my locker.
I stood in thought for a moment. This was a lot more difficult than I had figured it was going to be. There were hundreds of other students and despite what people say about Canadians, none of these teenagers seemed too keen on being polite. I was shoved around as people tried to make their way through the crowded hallway. Falling against the lockers, I gasped. I watched as people kept walking by; at least I was safe where I was.
Twisting a dark curl around my finger, I tried to give myself the courage I needed to continue my search. Something rested on my shoulder, causing me to jump. Glancing back over my shoulder to see what it was, terrified that I was in someone’s way again, I was greeted by a kind smile and dark eyes. I regarded the boy who stood behind me for a moment. He had dark brown hair that was a bit long in the front, slightly covering his dark brown eyes. I was drawn into the smile for a moment before I realized he was speaking to me. I turned to fully face him. “I…I’m sorry?”
“I said, you look familiar,” the boy said, a soft laugh escaping his lips. “Let me think…What was your name…” He rustled his hair, giving me a chance to fully see his dark eyes. Beautiful dark eyes. “Carmen! Your name is Carmen Royale, right? I think you were in the same grade as my brother. Not in the same class though. I remember hearing about you getting kicked out of the elementary school.”
My breath caught in my throat. “I-I’m sorry. I think you have the wrong person.” I turned to make my escape, hoping to lose him in the crowded hallway. He watched me with a surprised look across his face. I looked away and ducked past a group of giggling girls on their cell phones.
How the heck had he recognized me? It had been eight years! I knew that I looked nothing like my eight-year-old counterpart.
---
My first class was Math, a class I could have done without. My mind kept wandering so the class went by fairly quickly and painlessly. My teacher was nice enough and no one in my class seemed to recognize me like that boy from before. I tried to keep my mind off of the encounter and up at the teacher who was explaining something about Algebra. But it was harder than I realized. I kept thinking of his dark eyes that watched me, instantly recognizing me.
I was lost in my thoughts when the bell finally rang. It took me a moment to realize, but once I saw people getting up to leave, I knew it was time for my next class. I opened up my timetable and saw that I had English next. I figured that would be a nice enough break to collect my thoughts and forget about this morning.
I slung my backpack’s strap onto my shoulder, heading out of the classroom door. This was the moment I had been dreading: trying to get through the crowd of loud students. I kept my head down and pushed through. I had to go up to the third floor to find my next class. As I turned toward the stairs, I bumped my shoulder into someone. I looked up for a moment, ready to apologize but then I realized who it was. I looked away and moved toward the stairs, quickening my pace.
“Wait. Please wait a moment,” the boy from before said, catching me by the arm. “I didn’t mean to bring up what must be a sensitive subject earlier. Please let me introduce myself. My name’s Richard,” he said, slipping his hand away from my arm.
I looked back at him for a moment before glancing around at the people who were wandering the hallway. I figured no one was paying attention. “Look,” I said, not liking being on the spot like he was forcing me to be. “I really think you have the wrong person. I mean, I have a cousin named Carmen too, our parents weren’t really creative so we ended up with-”
“Don’t tell me you’re bugging my cousin now,” a voice said, interrupting me; a voice that made me sigh with relief.
Ali.
Thank goodness.
I looked past Richard to see my younger cousin walk up to us. She pushed past a boy who was chatting on his cell phone and taking his time to walk down the hall. She had long, very light blond hair that almost seemed to shimmer in any kind of lighting. Her harsh light blue eyes watched Richard as she slipped next to me. Ali was three years younger than me and was just starting her first year in high school; this made me feel a little less alone. But it didn’t make me feel more comfortable in the new school. Over the last year, Ali had gotten herself a bit of a reputation. She was only thirteen and was already causing problems.
“I wasn’t trying to bug her,” Richard said, looking down at the younger girl who stood nearly two feet shorter than him. “I just recognized her.”
Ali shot me a quick look; she was well aware of how I felt about going to school. She had promised me that she would do everything she could to make sure that I didn’t have a rough time. “Are you sure you have the right person?” She asked, gazing back up at him.
“Oh, not you too.” Richard sighed. “Look, I know that this is the same Carmen I remember. I’m not an idiot.”
“No one is saying you’re an-” I was cut off as some of Richard’s classmates walked by and called out to him.
“Hey Richard! Don’t tell me you’ve set your sights on Icy there,” one said over to him with a laugh, nudging one of his friends next to him as he pointed at Ali. “You’ll just get your heart smashed to pieces.” They continued to laugh as they walked past us.
“Don‘t mind them,” Richard said, shaking his head. He watched his classmates walk away. “What?” He had noticed me shaking her head.
“I wouldn’t bother trying to make up for them calling her that, Ali enjoys it.” I nodded toward my cousin, who was beaming from ear to ear. Over the last year Ali had gained quite a few admirers and soon she was well known for turning everyone down. They began to call her Icy because of how she turned all those guys down.
“Now, what were we talking about?” Ali asked, coming back to reality. “Oh right! You were harassing Carmen.”
“Ali!” I groaned. “He wasn’t harassing me! He just recognized me. That’s all.” I caught my mistake a moment too late. I carefully glanced up at Richard, who stood with a triumphant look upon his face.
“I knew it,” Richard said, crossing his arms, the grin not leaving his face. “You are the same girl.”
“Okay, so what if I am?” I asked him, exasperated by his persistence. “You can’t go around and tell people. I wanted this to be a chance for me to turn over a new leaf. To try and be normal and forget about the past.”
“Alright,” Richard said with a laugh, his lips forming a kind smile. “That was all you had to say. I’m not like those other guys who relish in gossip and making people feel insignificant.”
“Really? You won’t tell anyone?” I asked him, finding my voice gaining a little bit of strength. “Because, that would be absolutely amazing.”
“You have my word,” Richard said, his smile managed to charm me for a split second before the bell rang. “Well, I should be off. Maybe I’ll see you around,” he said, giving us a half wave before disappearing into the crowd.
“Well, I think you made a friend,” Ali said, nudging me as I stood watching where Richard had disappeared.
