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Hello Kelsey!

Wow. I didn't know what to expect when I first started reading this, but by the end I was hooked. The idea of a girl who can't feel anything is intriguing and to personify emotions and feelings as faeries is ingenius. I like it. I couldn't find anything style or grammar-wise wrong with the piece, but I have to admit, I wasn't really looking. I was too engrossed in the story to care. I'm just going to assume there weren't any. So good job! I can't wait to find out what happens next. Will you let me know when you post your next chapter? I'm going to follow you just in case. Sorry if this review doesn't help you very much. I don't have anything negative to say, but I'm sure there will be other reviews that might give you some constructive criticism. I'm positive that this story will be found rather quickly by the other YWSers.

Happy Writing!
Bailey

Very very interesting. I like the style of you writing. Quite like Terry brooks whom i love to read. Im interested to learn more about these characters so i will definately be paying attention. One thing. " I search for him as the burns on my skin closing* up.".

Wow, Kelsey.

Wow. Wow. Haha. Well, I really don't know what else to say.

You are quite the talented writer. Your words are powerful and to the point. Not too flowery, which removes the focus from the story.

I loved the relationship and interaction between Fear and Elizabeth. I think that many people would make Elizabeth appear boring, but you've managed to pull it off, beautifully.

I would really love for you to PM me when you post the next chapter. Would you?
Also, is this the novel you plan on querying?

Tanya

Wow I loved it. The only thing I have to say about it is this:

I search for him as the burns on my skin closing up.

closing should be closed up. That was the only thing I found. I'd really love to read the next chapter so when you post it can you pm me?

Oh, my god. This is freaking AMAZING.
First of all, the concept is brilliant. I've seen plots with emotionless people featured before (or semi-emotionless, at least), but the idea of having emotions be faeries is just... well, brilliant, as I said!
Second of all, your characterization is spot on. If I had been writing this, I don't think I would be able to refrain from giving Elizabeth some semblance of emotion (unintentionally, of course, but I'd have to, for motivational purposes). You've managed, however, to make her both consistent in her emotionless...ness... and likeable at the same time. I'm curious, though, how you're going to advance the plot if she has no emotions to provide motivation... wait, no, survival instinct, perhaps?
I really can't find anything to criticize here - there were a couple grammatical mistakes I caught, but Lsmatthews and Nightlyowl already mentioned the most blatant one.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to chapter two!