Lovely Heart chapter 2

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Chapter 2
The New Place

Ivy left her house at six A.M the fourteenth of September. She said goodbye to her mother, her father and her little brother, Jacob at the door of her house.

The carriage had come on time, and as she got on she said goodbye to her home town silently. She sat on the carriage seat and held her mother’s book of potion recipes, waved at her family, and saw them disappear in the distance.

The carriage was cozy and inviting with its tones of black and white, driven by a gnome and four white horses. She remembered when her mother had told her of the magic carriages, which disappeared in thin air hiding the carriage from the view of humans.
Ivy looked through the window to a forest with big trees and a deer somewhere in the distance.

She wore her favorite jeans, a dark blue shirt and a brown sweater. She wanted to make a good impression to her new tutor. She held the book tightly, trying to not cry, but she knew it was impossible and started to cry, missing her mother and friends that she wouldn’t see until Christmas.

Sometime while she was crying she fell asleep, and dreamed of the same nightmare she had dreamed for the past six years of her thirteen.

Ivy’s mother, Teresa, was a light witch who left her hometown, making her incapable of coming back for the sacred rule of ‘those who leave can never come back’. When Ivy had her ninth birthday her powers started showing up and her mother told her about the place she had came from.

She woke up trembling as the carriage stopped in front of an old house with a black roof and white walls.
It was getting dark and when she looked at her watch she saw it was about seven.
She held the book tighter and jumped out of the carriage as the door opened. She opened the book and got a piece of paper that was placed between two pages.

“Snake’s road 47”

She looked up at the sign that held from a post and saw the number of the house. She looked at the carriage to discover it gone, only to find her suitcase.

She walked to the door, holding her book in one hand and the suitcase in the other. She knocked on the door and waited for it to open.

In less than a second the door opened to reveal an old woman with snow white hair, a pointy nose, hawk like eyes and a black dress.

“Hello, you must be Ivy White, right?” she said with a clear British accent.

“Yes”

“Come in, come in” said the woman moving out of the way.

Ivy did as she said and entered the hall of the house. It had a dark red carpet and beige walls with a design of small flowers here and there. A flight of stairs took you to a second floor at the side of one wall and there were three doors at the left of the hall.

“I am Elisabeth Rosette, your new tutor and guardian” said the woman with a polite smile. “The rules of this place are simple, one, if you need something you will got to me, two, if you mess up you will clean up, three, never be late for anything, four, lights out at ten o’ clock and five, don’t got to the forbidden zones.”

“Forbidden zones?” asked Ivy

“Yes, I’ll tell you tomorrow, but now, you will leave your stuff in your room and come down for dinner at 8 P.M sharp” said Mrs. Rosette “Follow me”

Mrs. Rosette went towards the stairs and towards the second level. Upstairs was like the hall downstairs, but on the walls there was paintings of places and people and some mirrors, all perfectly put, and on both sides there were five doors on each door.

Mrs. Rosette walked to the second door on the right and opened it, revealing a room with a wood floor, light blue walls with the design of white flowers, four windows, white curtains, two beds with white and blue covers, two wardrobes, a mirror, one bedside table each on a side of both beds, and on both bedside tables, one lamp.

One side of the room had more stuff than the other; it had a pink rabbit on the bed, a little painting of a tree on the wall, slippers on the side of the bed and a pair of glasses on the bedside table.

“This is your room, you will be sharing it with Rosemary” said Mrs. Rosette.

“Where is Rosemary?” asked Ivy

“She is at the night school with the others, you’ll see them later” said the woman heading for the stairs. “Unpack, please”

Ivy entered the room and left the suitcase and book on the bed of the side that was hers and started unpacking.


When it was soon eight, the door opened and in came a girl with long, curly red hair, fair white skin and some freckles on her nose. She wore a black and blue dress that reached her knees and a pair of black flat shoes. She had a small pleasant smile and dimples.

“Hello, I’m Rosemary, your new roommate.” She said stretching out her hand. Ivy took it and the shook hands.

“I’m Ivy”

“What type of witch are you?” asked Rosemary sitting on her bed and taking off her shoes.

“Pardon me?” said Ivy sitting on her bed, in front of Rosemary.

“Witch, are you a dark witch? Who can control the dark powers, or, are you a light witch? Who can control the light powers” she explained putting her hair back in a pony-tail.

“A light witch” Ivy responded.

“Me too, so, your tutor is Mrs. Rosette” she got up and started getting clothes from the wardrobe of her part of the room. “The other three in this house are dark wizards and a witch, Mr. Alfred, William and Samantha”

“Is Mr. Alfred their tutor?”

“Yes, I’m going to change quickly and we leave for dinner, ok?”

“Ok”

Rosemary left the room with a change of clothes and left Ivy alone.

Sometime later, Rosemary came back with a white blouse and jeans.

“Let’s go” she said.
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:D :D :D
Last edited by Legendaryrose on Fri May 28, 2010 2:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
¡¡¡Yo sere la que cree mi camino desde este momento, yo sere la quien grite, la quien mande, porque ahora tengo el control de mi vida en mis manos!!! xD xD xD




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Hi again, Legendaryrose! Thought I’d stop by and drop you a review. ^_^

This was another pretty interesting chapter, I like how it revealed more about the world of your story, including a bit about how magic works, and about how things are going to go at the school that Ivy is joining. I’m interested in this distinction between light and dark magic, I wonder what that means, and I can’t wait to meet the other students and find out more about them.

I think we’re starting to get a little more impression of who Ivy is in this chapter, and that’s good. Keep working in things about her emotions—how she feels about Miss Rosette, how she feels about Rosemary, and so on, and I think it will become much easier to attach to her as a character. I really liked Miss Rosette, by the way—her mix of sternness and kindness is endearing and likeable, and I’m curious to know more about the forbidden zones she mentioned.

Just a few things in this chapter you should probably look at:

and dreamed of the same nightmare she had dreamed for the past six years of her thirteen.

I think that the phrasing here is a little awkward—just “the past six years” should be fine.

Also, I was a little startled that you led us into this plotline with the nightmare, and then brushed it off to give more background to the world… it was kind of an abrupt transition that left me a bit confused as to what was going on. Maybe you could have gone into the nightmare a little bit?

It had a dark red carpet and veigh walls with a design of small flowers here and there.

“Veigh”? Is this a typo?

Otherwise, well done! I think I like this chapter more than the previous one. ^_^ Keep working, and I’ll gladly read chapter three if you want me to! : )
"The world is not beautiful, therefore, it is." --Kino's Journey

Hey, how about a free review?




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I second Zankoku, I found it to be enjoyable and interesting, however I think that we got a better look at what Miss Rosette is like than anyone else in this segement. Of course its only a segement so I cant really expect to know every inch of the characters already, but keep in mind to really develope those characters, thats what really makes a story in my opinion. Also I noticed in one paragraph that you used the word "she" way to many times, try to break up using that word with the characters actuall name from time to time, be creative in how you do it because its just one of the many ways that you can make your story read much better.

Anyways, I thought it was great! Keep up the good work and I will keep an eye out for more should you put it up for us to read.

Peace out.
Wantid in 51 stiats bi teh gramer polece.




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oh nevermind, you have the rest put up already I see, I'll be sure to check it out :P
Wantid in 51 stiats bi teh gramer polece.



I say Wolf, for all wolves are not of the same sort; there is one kind with an amenable disposition – neither noisy, nor hateful, nor angry, but tame, obliging and gentle, following the young maids in the streets, even into their homes. Alas! Who does not know that these gentle wolves are of all such creatures the most dangerous!
— Charles Perrault